That doesn't count that's some kind of joke swearing.

Although a word of warning, don't get into cab in Vancouver, pissed and for a laugh try out your newly learned Punjabi swear words. It doesn't end well.

And of course there is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGy-j_oH5Q

there is a TV clip about the benefit of swearing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lb3zXDQvz0

Sh!t & P!ss are my career & have been in various guises for many a year - they are no longer swearing unless in context.

I do however have a favourite swear phrase rolled out for stress relief. FSWB.

Most public servants / shop keepers, bar staff, teachers, train staff, health staff will get sworn at - anyone who deals with people who are not colleagues I suspect

I won the Xmas eve prize once for the first person to be sworn at when I worked in a shop - 5 mins after opening.

I have also been sworn at & insulted by a member of the police when on a peace demo, so it goes both ways - mind you Thatcher had just resigned so I was in a good mood It was a happy week.

You can't post that ****ing stuff on here you ****.

I discovered that my Canadian work colleagues (mostly female) do not think that the word 'w***er' is a swear word.
They seemed to think it is just a mild rebuke, like 'idiot' or something similar.
When they said it in front of my husband (no TO him, I hasten to add) and he blushed red down to his collar, they were surprised and said they didn't realise that it was such a bad word in England.

Maybe we just don't use language like that and others do, but it seems from that reaction that some words are deemed much less offensive here than in the UK.

Was some of that ****** in Punjabi?

I agree, as words are used more frequently they will lose their effect & then new ones are needed.

Colleagues of my sister picked up b*gger from her, but then were mightly embarrassed when they learnt what it was.

I don't like pretend swearing by spelling it out - what is the point

In the North East (of England) calling someone a b*gger is a sign of (non-sexual) affection.

With a little slight of hand I once managed at a party to convince the Canadian HID to tell the Dean he was a wanker. Neither of them thought it was remotely offensive or as funny as I thought it was.

So true.

That is a word that has the most friendly usage in Yorkshire, the county of my husband's birth.

I will say "Oh, bugger!" in moments of frustration when an expletive is called for and it seems mild by comparison to other possibilities.

I would have been on the floor laughing, given my sophisticated humour.

My friend once briefly convinced his mum that crap was NOT at all a swear word or could cause offence - she was the minister's wife. That was pretty funny to me.

Mind you I come from a family where the angelic looking grandma was caught teaching my toddler brother swearing rhymes at the sunday dinner table.

Swearing AT someone though was a huge offence with prolonged grounding doled out by the parents

That reminds me. Will you be going to see the "Iron Lady" movie with Meryl Streep as Mrs T? A potential oscar contender I hear...

Yes, the actual 'words' do have very different feelings attached - I've noticed that lots of Canadians don't seem to 'gasp' at wanker. I grew up in the Midlands where 'bugger' was more of a passing comment than an expletive deletive. I think I am more of an 'oh shit' sort of a woman, but am careful in France, as here that refers to cannabis. My husband is a confirmed 'for ****'s sakes' man, which seems to be a bit of a Canadian favourite, when having his finger hit with a hammer. I swear, we all swear, but it's where we swear and what has been the motivation that is the important bit - and how big an audience we decide to share our big gobs with. I can be bloody offensive without the use of a 'gros mot' as the kids say, when I want to be. When really stressed I have done the school run - having dumped the kids - and driven back saying every foul word I can think of at the top of my lungs, and it does me the power of good, I open the car door and am cured and can be Mary Poppins again.

featuring a mechanical dingo in the role of Arthur Scargill?

I'm particularly fond of the word "bollocks". I don't think it's that common in Canada and certainly not in the franco bits. I can use it with impunity almost anywhere. I'm pleased to report that the missus has successfully introduced it to the upper echelons of DND.