Originally Posted by Calgal (Post 5308219)

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull everything in. Then; just when I let my guard down, the thieves struck again.

My ass was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with earlier. I couldn't believe it; my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original had been. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

Last year I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched, horrified, but at the same time fascinated, as the
flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at
a time. How Clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and
without warning. In despair I gave up short sleeved t-shirts.

Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey, which it now resembles.

I can't take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD; WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts,don't You? The next time you suspect someone has had their face 'lifted', look again. Was it 'lifted' from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY NIGHT! WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. How paranoid am I ? Last night I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed in a panic, I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits
as I slept. Now I am keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!

Originally Posted by Calgal (Post 5308219)

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull everything in. Then; just when I let my guard down, the thieves struck again.

My ass was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with earlier. I couldn't believe it; my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original had been. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

Last year I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched, horrified, but at the same time fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How Clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I gave up short sleeved t-shirts.

Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey, which it now resembles.

I can't take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD; WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts,don't You? The next time you suspect someone has had their face 'lifted', look again. Was it 'lifted' from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY NIGHT! WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. How paranoid am I ? Last night I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed in a panic, I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I am keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!

Originally Posted by Calgal (Post 5308219)

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones were the texture of lumpy porridge. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

Whose thighs were these and what had happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and those tights that pull everything in. Then; just when I let my guard down, the thieves struck again.

My ass was next! I knew it was the same gang, because they took great pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had lumbered me with earlier. I couldn't believe it; my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original had been. Now, my backside complemented my thighs lump for lump. Frantically, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

Last year I realised my arms had been switched. One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched, horrified, but at the same time fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was getting really scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How Clever and fiendish. I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair I gave up short sleeved t-shirts.

Last month my neck disappeared faster than the Christmas turkey, which it now resembles.

I can't take on the medical profession by myself. WOMEN OF THE WORLD; WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! That really isn't plastic those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts,don't You? The next time you suspect someone has had their face 'lifted', look again. Was it 'lifted' from you? I think I finally found my thighs and I hope Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!!

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! THIS IS HAPPENING TO WOMEN IN YOUR TOWN EVERY NIGHT! WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. How paranoid am I ? Last night I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed in a panic, I was relieved to find that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I am keeping them safely tucked into my waistband!

Originally Posted by Souvenir (Post 5308340)

Your body sounds as if it has been remodelled by me. On a good day.

Originally Posted by Steve_P (Post 5308368)

Sorry to hear about your body my dear.

Makes me glad it was only a picture of mine that someone took.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian (Post 5308418)

<reassesses life long devotion stance>

Originally Posted by ann m (Post 5308431)

I have the opposite problem Calgal.

My body is so god damn perfect, that people keep taking pictures of me in my bikini or underwear and then super-imposing someone else's head on the photo. I see my body in all kinds of adverts and magazines, even on the side of buses. And have I received any compensation or payment for the use of my glorious bod? Not one penny. I intend to sue.

Originally Posted by Arris (Post 5308891)

LOL, nice one Calgal

Reminded me of a neurotic woman who I used to work with who was paranoid about aging & her body.

She moaned once in the staff room that she'd put on half a pound & could feel her bottom wobble when she ran up the stairs - obviously looking for compliments etc.

I just said to her "don't worry, you get used to it"

Originally Posted by Edna Bucket (Post 5309115)

Calgal make sure your teeth are well glued in!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by sans (Post 5309612)

:ohmy: I am so sorry for your loss calgal, if their is anything i can do just let me know :lol:

Originally Posted by sans (Post 5309746)

My age then :blink: I'll pm you next time i see a great pair of legs run by ( mind you may have to toss me for them ) :lol:

Originally Posted by Calgal (Post 5309771)

errr.... well I am 30 (just with a few years experience ;) )

As for the legs - toss you fer 'em? I'll bloody fight you for 'em...lol :rofl:

Originally Posted by Calgal (Post 5309733)

Sad, isn't it? Especially considering I'm only 30 :sneaky: :rofl: