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Re: Some updates.
I used to have hope something would change and I would eventually be able to get long term treatment and have an improvement in life, but now I realize that will never happen.
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Re: Some updates.
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Re: Some updates.
I wish I had been smart enough for college, would have been nice to work in a public aquarium somewhere in an animal care role.
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Re: Some updates.
People with bpd do the best they can with the skills they have. They can't work miracles and just fix everything or pull boot straps up and suddenly be fixed, just doesn't work like that.
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Re: Some updates.
The situation we are in now is why we are wary of leaving BC, had we moved provinces we may very well be homeless right now.
People with bpd do the best they can, like many things in life is someone lacks certain skills they will not be able to attain full potential, and like many skills sometimes its simply not feasible or able to teach all the necessary skills via self teaching. Also cant compare one person to another, one bpd may succeed but may also have a strong support network, where another may barely make it not having access to treatment and not having a strong support network. I have also more or less stopped trying to find help, its simply not going to happen, I am tired of searching for something that isn't there, at least there in a form we can obtain, it exists, just not obtainable. I think in part some if it has to do with isolation, and being in a country that isn't my own and doesn't have the comforts of home, even when feeling like a certain food its usually not possible to find an alternative here that is the same, no friends, no family other then my wife, and we never get invited anywhere, and its becomes a very isolated and lonely experience. The closest thing I have to a social life is weekly skills group but it will end in a couple of months.... |
Re: Some updates.
We have a couple private DBT places in Vancouver, all out patient though, not sure if there are any dbt inpatient places, largely in my experience with inpatient in Canada its simply a way to keep people safe, they don't focus on any sort of recovery or therapy instead preferring people seek outpatient help.
The most well known is DBT Centre of Vancouver and likely the best overall based on the people who run, their background and affiliation with universities. There is also VanPsych but they don't specialize in DBT. Further East to Ontario, Ontario Shores has an actual borderline disorder treatment program, and I believe OHIP covers the cost as well. This one is in Seattle in the US, this one is more unique in that they offer an 18 month program for people who learn at a slower pace vs the 12 month standard. Description - Comtois Lab I would be happy with being able to access a 12 month standard program with weekly therapy, the skills group alone isn't sufficient, need to have someone there to guide you, and work through problems, and help set goals and so on.
Originally Posted by BEVS
(Post 12567564)
Morning J.
MrBEVS had to work yesterday but I made sure he had a birthday tea. That means cake to him :cake: It is good that MrsJ is flexible on what any next move or thought might be. I do hope she is feeling better? Is she? As you know I do agree that for someone with severe BPD /PTSD the solution is a long term therapy to help ingrain coping mechanisms to adjust behaviours. Actually a very similar approach as is used for Asperger to help those people learn to develop the essential life skills to hopefully have reasonably independant lives. As J knows, New Zealand has such a facility. It is the only one in the whole of New Zealand . There is no other so just like for J , people here are managing best they can with little resource to the tried and tested therapy that could help long term. My husband and I knew someone with BPD. ( She has now remarried & moved away) She spent a good year in the facility and came out the other side better for it. Prior to that her behaviours were all over the place and even though she was aware she could not really control. Why do I write this? It is because I read the same for J. To be aware will make the sensitivities all the sharper. Now, I know BE is not for this. We're not a mental health forum at all but I am sure that there are many out there that have to live with the Black Dog and the like & hopefully the right help & support is there when they need it. Anyway - onward. Are you still getting the DBT therapy sessions J. I have lost track a bit what with one thing and another. Is your wife now well? Enough to look for a bit of work? I'd like you to rethink the 'faulty brain' thing because if you have a faulty brain then I & husband must have also . You are a perfectly fine man. You may process feelings and thoughts differently to the average joe soap but that does not make you faulty. It simply makes you unique and individual. There is a huge population out there all walking around a bit faulty around the edges. You made a perfectly good decision to try to get your last job. It is a shame you chucked it but I do know how tough it can be to bite the tongue and let irritations wash over you. Yes. I have walked out of jobs that got up my nose too despite knowing I had bills to meet. To me, your next move is to try and get back into work. Any work. Any work at all. That is a one foot in front of another approach. 1 - Brings in a bit of the old $$. 2 - Keeps the mind a little occupied for a while. 3 - Focus and routine. I actually think you do need a bit of outside people time even though it gives you head boil in the end. The reason I write this is that too much alone time , think time will make any problem grow to a place where it can all seem too huge. Too much alone overloads our minds . Our brains need respite and diversion. If you were a runner or sporty , I would suggest that as a mind detox. That works for husband . Your wonderful aquariums will help but you do need extra stimulation to ease the anxiety build up. To me you are an articulate intelligent man J despite what you write. So is my husband who has spent most all of his life thinking he was dim and thick . That self perception does bring about frustration , a lack of confidence . A short fuse sometimes. Despite that or in spite of that load you both carry - even though you should not - you are both perfectly good people that others love and care for. |
Re: Some updates.
Have you heard of Open Door? It might be worth taking a look at their website https://www.opendoorgroup.org/services/career-services/
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Re: Some updates.
Originally Posted by Tigger1
(Post 12571273)
Have you heard of Open Door? It might be worth taking a look at their website https://www.opendoorgroup.org/services/career-services/
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Re: Some updates.
...
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Re: Some updates.
I tried to make another effort to get my job back. So at least I can say I made an effort.
We saw fertility doctor, if we were to ever try for a kid IVF is the only way with high chances and even then its only 50/50. The other options are estimated at less than 10% chance. Holy IVF is pricey nearly 10k each time. Lessoned learned dont wait until late 30s to consider kids or you may find you lost the option. |
Re: Some updates.
Being tall sucks sometimes, eliminates certain jobs.
Would be nice if I wasn't left out of everything and actually included in things, part of what brings me down is being left out. |
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Boring weekend ahead, will be alone, wife is going to the island with her mom.
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Re: Some updates.
Originally Posted by Jsmth321
(Post 12571835)
Being tall sucks sometimes, eliminates certain jobs.
Would be nice if I wasn't left out of everything and actually included in things, part of what brings me down is being left out. I make sure a lot of our Lab supplies are on high shelves for him to reach without bending in half. |
Re: Some updates.
Originally Posted by Jsmth321
(Post 12571373)
Lessoned learned dont wait until late 30s to consider kids or you may find you lost the option.
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