copy/paste your chat with God.


Me:
what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

There is no god. Only religion.

<discuss>

R.

Me: Dear God, are we going into recession?
God:All of them?
Me: all 12 tribes?
God:How do you know?
Me: It's in the good book!
God:Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me: Maybe the Mormon's have some
God: Perhaps. Thanks for the info.

I think God was smoking something!

Me:
I love purple
God:
You love purple. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
Just the colour
God:
What else do the color remind you of?
Me:
death
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no?
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
gee thanks
God:
Ah.
Me:
ah ha
God:
Eureka!
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
you said ah
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
I do not believe it I know it!
God:
Do you consider yourself a moral person?
Me:
Kind of
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Once a year
God:
When? Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Depends on what you fancy.
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before.
Me:
I thought you had heard it all.
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
You should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Because you are all knowing, you twit.
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am an all knowing twit.
Me:
Not really.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. For real.
Me:
Thank you, can i go now?
God:
Right now? You are quite welcome! Of course.
Me:
Bye then
God:
Adios.
Me:
Toodles
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I'm going now.
God:
Oh. Bye!
Me:
Bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
I expect so, or maybe not.....
God:
No one else expects it.
Me:
Death has that effect.
God:
I try not to think about such things very much.
Me:
?
God:
I try not to think about such things very much.
Me:
I realy have to go now.
God:
Oh. You really do? See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
And you.
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
YOU!
God:
Me?
Me:
This just proves your male.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
You.
God:
" What does "this" refer to Me?
Me:
You....
God:
Me?
Me:
**** it.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Sorry.
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
I thought i was repenting?
God:
Where were you repenting?
Me:
Swearing
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me.

Me: Fukc off god. And the asshole programmer.

Spoil sport.

Merci. Je vous en prie.

Does my bum look big in this?

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Herb, with an H
God:
OK I will call you Herb with an H.
Me:
good, why can't Americans say it like that?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
Umm, you're God right? Surely you can tell me why Americans can't say Herb?
God:
Pardon me? Of course I am. Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
Because it was trying to assimilate the chicken. Anyway, how would God pronounce herb?
God:
Good reason. What made it so trying to assimilate the chicken. I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.
Me:
I'd pronounce it herb, with an "h", not like those Americans
God:
What would make you pronounce it herb with an h not like those Americans?
Me:
because it's spelt with an h. Herb. Herbacious. Hibiscus.
God:
That makes sense to me. Who said it is? I never heard of Herbacious before. Is that your final answer?
Me:
Wow, for a God you don't know much do you?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Yeah. Among them.

"Are you a magical shark?" My 5 year old wants to know.

me: why?
god: because!

Me:
validate your existance
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I dislike dogma
God:
What do you like?
Me:
reason
God:

then it stopped working

Me God, where is our LMO ?

God In the system child

Me: When is our passport request going to come through?
God: At the appropriate time, no sooner.
Me: So when is the appropriate time? It's been nearly 6 months.
God: Yay. When is not the important thing. What's important is what we do with the time we are given.
Me: You've been watching too many movies.
God: You think I am watching too many movies.

I though I'd give it another go and be less agressive

Me:
please validate your existance
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

I think God has probelms too.........