Does this ring any bells?
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory
All through the week from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there.

The first one’s name was Elizabeth Porter
She went in to be rid of some overdue water
And she stayed there far more than she ought to
And nobody knew she was there.

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a pot of Jam
The Jam is so sticky
It stuck to my dicky
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

Mary had a little lamb
She couldn't stop it grunting
She took it down the garden path
And kicked its little xxx in

There were only three of them when I was a kid. Rich bastards growing up in the colonies, you had more of everything.

Nobody knew the other four were there

Dan, Dan
The dirty old man
Washed his face in a frying pan
Combed his hair with a donkey's tail
And scratched his tummy with his big toe nail

I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
There's a hole in the middle
Where I can do a piddle
I'm Popeye the sailor man

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife

Damn. I knew it as somebody 'got flushed down' the lavatory and it's going to bother my head until I can remember who

That's right there were 3.

The second one’s name was Elizabeth Pomphrey
She went in and made herself comfy
Then she said: Girls I can’t get my bum free
And nobody knew she was there

The last one’s name was Elizabeth Carter
She was known as a world renowned farter
She went in and played a sonata
And nobody knew she was there

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
but I've never seen her bare.

Mary had a little lamb
She fed it castor oil
And every time it jumped the fence
It fertilized the soil

Mary had a little lamb
Twas full of fun and frolics
It tried to jump a barbed wire fence
And left behind its bollocks

It was either myself or my sister when my dad sang it