British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)

- The Maple Leaf (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/)

- - a joke (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/joke-777605/)

I was in a bar in Australia and the guy on the next stool was looking sad.
"Yis got problems, mate?" I asked....using an Ozzy accent.
Sad chap replies 'Yip! me gal was sunnin' starkers and got bit on her fanny...it's swollen shut."
I commiserated "Bummer, mate."
"Bonzer idea!" he exclaimed "good on yih, mate."....gulped his beer and left.

The guy who invented predictive text died last night...

his funfair is next monkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oink (Post 12182102)

https://s12.postimg.org/tei0des0t/16...71629014_n.png

I was trying to find something like that (for a bit of copy/pasting) when there was something going about Mobile advertising the other day. :nod:

Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 at me. Fortunately, my injuries are super fish oil.

When I heard there is a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty (Post 10389385)

A guy walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barman can't help but notice that the guy has an enormous orange head.

So, as he hands the pint to they guy, he asks, "Sorry to be so obvious, but I can't help but notice your big orange head. How did that happen?"

"Well," said the guy. "I found this old bottle on the beach, so I picked it up and gave it a rub. Of course, a genie popped out and granted me three wishes."

"For the first wish, I asked for the usual riches - millions in the bank, always have money in my pocket for whatever I want, you know?"

The barman nodded. "And the second wish was...?"

"Oh, have a guess... women. I wanted to be successful with women. Well, I got that too, I now have the ability to charm any woman I want into bed."

"Cool!" said the barman. "And the third wish...?"

"Ahhhh," said the man, with a long sigh. "I wished for a giant orange head."

With great vision, the sorely-missed eco-criminal Jingsamichty somehow saw Trump a-coming.

Around what time did Sean Connery show up at the Wimbledon Final?
Tennish.