Funny exam answers
Sep 26th 2006, 6:46 pm
#1
Bright light!!
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere around
Posts: 656
Funny exam answers
I'm not knocking our students as we have an excellent record of education but I got sent this and thought it was genuinely funny... I think our Brit wit is coming through in some of them for sure 
The following questions and answers were collected from last year’s GCSE exams, and are are genuine responses!!
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section.”
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand it’s
meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
The following questions and answers were collected from last year’s GCSE exams, and are are genuine responses!!
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section.”
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word “judicious” in a sentence to show you understand it’s
meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word “benign” mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Sep 26th 2006, 9:10 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Alberta
Posts: 806
Re: Funny exam answers
nice one
Sep 26th 2006, 10:08 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Milton, Ontario
Posts: 1,215
Re: Funny exam answers
Ah, yes. These again. The same ones do the rounds every year. Doubt any of it is real.
Sep 26th 2006, 10:09 pm
#4
C'est correck
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: La Prairie, nr Montréal
Posts: 839
Re: Funny exam answers
These anwers deserve an A* for sheer creativity, whit and sometimes logic.
Sep 28th 2006, 7:27 pm
#5
Islander
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Toronto, woo!
Posts: 953
Re: Funny exam answers
Originally Posted by cov-canuck
Ah, yes. These again. The same ones do the rounds every year. Doubt any of it is real.
.. could be an adult with crappy handwriting though
Sep 28th 2006, 8:17 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: essex uk
Posts: 982
Re: Funny exam answers
lol. fab stuff
