Hello, I'm not sure what to do or if I have a problem but recently I visited the UK again.
Now I feel like I want to go back last time I didn't feel this way (I was living in Newfoundland at the time)
Now I have a good life here in Ottawa (moved a couple of years ago) but it seems the people here are much of the banter type and I really miss the UK banter.

I'm married too but I really just feel like I want to shut up shop and go back to UK after 11 years in Canada.

Anyone else ever feel like this and got some advice?

You have to ask yourself if what you really want is out of Canada and back to a place you left a decade ago or if all you actually want is out of a marriage.

Tough choices, but only you can decide.

Could it be that you're not really making as much success of your life in Canada as you could be? Get more involved in things here and if after a couple more years you feel the same then think about making a decision. Remember you have a marriage partner's feelings to consider as well.

Thanks Dave/Peter

Peter, do you find it hard to make friends in Ottawa?

It's probably harder to make close friends of Canadians than of English folks, as people do appear a bit shallower when you first know them. Just takes a bit longer here. I'm probably not the best example as I prefer home life with my wife or just talking to myself, so don't strive for a big circle of friends.

How long were you in the UK for?

Were you on holiday?


Being back in England for a holiday is very different from being back permanently, or even for a longer holiday. People (friends and relatives) get used to you after you've been back several weeks or months, and are no longer in the "holiday" mood.

You have to consider that England now is different from the England you left even 11 years ago!


Think about why you left England?

What was it you didn't like? Is it still the same?

Think about your partner? Would they like England, or would it be the end of your marriage.


Could you arrange to take a leave from your job and go back for say 2 months, and really see what it would be like to live there versus dropping in for 1 or 2 weeks a time?


It's almost 50 years since I left the UK, and I can quite honestly say that I have never once felt homesick for the UK, but know several friends and relatives who have been.

For me the panic set in after about six years. I sort of solved it by going home as much as I could. To qualify, I lived on the east coast of the US, not in bum***f NL and also in a time of cheaper air travel, so I'd often fly out on a Thursday evening and be back to work on a Monday or Tuesday. I usually went a couple of times a month apart from in the summer where thankfully I had a job that would allow me to leave for the UK in the middle of June and come back the 1st (sometimes pushing it to the 2nd) week of October. This travel with my almost no emotional engagement with North Americans has somewhat ameliorated the pangs of homesickness for me. Plus now, I eat all their fish.

Hardly worth it just for the banter.

I think "banter" has deeper socio-psychological meaning than just a bit of a chat.

Why aye man

All valid points especially the one about holiday is different from permanently being there.
Cheers guys and girls definitely some soul searching to do and maybe it's just the thought of memories past.

Many years ago, the wife of a friend of mine decided she hated Canada and wanted to go home.
He gave up a well paying stable job and acceded to her wishes.
On the cab from Heathrow she changed her mind again and decided she wanted to go back to Canada.
They did return to Canada and eventually he got back his job, with a lot of forfeited seniority.
Sometimes, it's not that you don't have friends, it's that your friends have children, careers, elderly parents who need attention and stuff like that.
Stay strong.

This story is many years old ...............

we once met a couple who were about to apply for their 3rd visa to live and work in the US. He was a Butler and she a Housekeeper, obviously very good at what they did because they never seemed to have any problems getting positions.

BUT she hated the US when she was there and missed England ........

and hated England when she was there and missed the US.

They seemed to have been getting positions and visas that meant they had to stay in the US for at least 2 years before leaving, and that is what they did. They left immediately the 2 years was up, then she hankered for the US again!

Please don't ask what kind of visa they had as I have no idea!

I feel the same at the moment. We moved here 9yrs ago, husband and 2 kids, we now have 3 kids and i have apart time job which i love. I have maybe 1 friend that i can go to for anything but i do have a few acquaintances. I find it really hard ti make good friends here my age. The ladies at my work are about the same age as my parents and we do talk and have a common interest in sewing and knitting. But friends my own age are too caught up with their kids, our kids will have play dates but I'm never invited in for coffee. I've always offered when they drop my kids off but they always refuse as they are busy.
I have always been on the go back in Scotland as i have a large family so that is still a huge change. I do put myself out there and always try to get a conversation going when out and about but it never comes to anything.
We are going to Scotland next week for a month so i will see how i feel after that.
My husband loves it here but he doesn't need a lot of friends and isn't social unless he has to.
I feel for you and hope you find where you are supposed to be.

That's a shame, sadly that seems to be a very common occurrence here, superficially friendly but actually standoffish. Enjoy your trip back to Scotland, it might make you even more homesick having to leave at the end of your stay- I hope not