Embarrassing Stories

Old Jul 18th 2006, 2:20 am
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Default Embarrassing Stories

Ok I'm not proud, I'll go first.
Up until about 2 years ago I seriously thought that the Colonels tie from KFC was his arms and legs. Have a look at this picture and you'll see what I mean. I was always puzzled as to why they drew his head so big and his arms and legs so thin
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 2:31 am
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by Bleech
Ok I'm not proud, I'll go first.
Up until about 2 years ago I seriously thought that the Colonels tie from KFC was his arms and legs. Have a look at this picture and you'll see what I mean. I was always puzzled as to why they drew his head so big and his arms and legs so thin
PMSL!!! Phucking hilarious!

I was once walked through downtown Victoria with peace signs painted on my face and carrying an anti-war sign thinking I was going to the annual 'peace walk' where I'd meet up with hundreds of others similarily dressed up... wrong weekend. Felt like a total idiot walking back home.

Last edited by hot wasabi peas; Jul 18th 2006 at 2:34 am.
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 1:57 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

I was on a school trip to France, aged 16 (very shy), and we were staying on the 11th floor of a tall tower block. I decided to wash some underwear and dry it by shutting it in the window so it hung outside.

Unfortunately someone opened the window and my knickers fluttered away! I peered down and saw they had landed on a piece of concrete stretching between our block and another building about 2 floors from ground level. Oh well, never mind, I thought.

Later that day my "friends" told me my undies had been retrieved by some gendarmes who were staying on that floor, and they needed me to go and identify them!!

Hilarity ensued.
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 2:14 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

When I was heavily pregnant with my first son, I went to see my midwife at the local clinic. I parked in the carpark of a high school as there was no room at the clinic car park and walked (no waddled) across.

My midwife asked me if I was able to supply her with a urine sample, so I duly went to the bathroom with my little sample bottle........did the business...........then the blasted bottle just flew out of my hands, spilt all over my knickers and trousers which were currently somewhere around my ankles.......and drenched me in my own pee.

I spent the next 5 minutes trying to dry my disgusting clothing under the hand dryer whilst sobbing piteously. Eventually decided I was going to have to leave my sanctuary and face the midwife............but the worst thing was...........I then had to walk back to my car.......and it was school leaving time, so kids were everywhere..............never 'waddled' so fast in my life ! :scared:
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 2:25 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

I went into a friend's new house which they had started renovating and they had wood cladding 70's style up the stairs. As we were going up I said " bet u can't wait until u get all this cr@p off ".... they had just installed it all.

I'll get me coat !
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 2:31 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by Tangram
I went into a friend's new house which they had started renovating and they had wood cladding 70's style up the stairs. As we were going up I said " bet u can't wait until u get all this cr@p off ".... they had just installed it all.

I'll get me coat !
I was at a posh Investment Seminar in Oxford, feeling very out of place, when I lost a fight with a chicken satay stick that launched into the air halfway across the room, leaving me to drop a glass of orange juice down my front.....

I stayed and talked to people but with a brochure firmly clasped to my chest. My OH still goes on about it, and it was at least, 7 ish years ago.
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 3:01 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by Tangram
I went into a friend's new house which they had started renovating and they had wood cladding 70's style up the stairs. As we were going up I said " bet u can't wait until u get all this cr@p off ".... they had just installed it all.

I'll get me coat !
Similar story...I went to stay with friends for the first time, after meeting on t'internet. We were talking decorating, and I said 'Ugh my kitchen was vile when I moved in, the previous owners paired banana yellow with a vile jade green on the walls. Who on EARTH would pair those two colours together??'. Both my friend and her OH gave me a funny look, and then looked at one another.

I'd only walked through their hall totally oblivious to the banana yellow and jade green decor!
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 6:46 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by yonk
I was at a posh Investment Seminar in Oxford, feeling very out of place, when I lost a fight with a chicken satay stick that launched into the air halfway across the room, ......
I truly believe that chicken satay sticks are in league with the devil!! :scared:
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 6:52 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by Bleech
Ok I'm not proud, I'll go first.
Up until about 2 years ago I seriously thought that the Colonels tie from KFC was his arms and legs. Have a look at this picture and you'll see what I mean. I was always puzzled as to why they drew his head so big and his arms and legs so thin

Tehehe! What was the big lump stickin' out of his head then?
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 8:07 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Many years ago my neighbor bought a new car (Oldsmobile Cutlass) unbeknown to me. Stupid here thought it was a rental or something.

So I opens my big mouth and says I wonder why they changed the design of the trunk they've turned what used to be a really nice car into a real piece of sh*t.

I don't think he has forgiven me yet.

Last edited by Hangman; Jul 18th 2006 at 8:10 pm.
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 8:18 pm
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When I worked as a corporate paralegal for a big law firm, a bigshot chartered accountant got me to incorporate a company with him and his wife as directors. I put his occupation as "chartered accountant" and hers as "housewife" because that was what we normally did back then.

Anyway, he came to my desk and said that his wife did not wish to be described as "Housewife". So I said "what should I put instead?"

And he said (at least I thought he did) "Nun".

I said "NUN??????????"

And he said "None ------------ N-O-N-E".

I guess you don't find too many married Nuns!!!
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Old Jul 18th 2006, 8:45 pm
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I remember I was in primary 4 which meant I would have been about 8 years old at the time. I went home at lunchtime and I said to my mum, so excitedly (as it was Halloween) that my teacher had told us to dress up so I got out my native indian outfit (the one that came out every year) My mum even painted my face. So I toddled off to school and very pleased to be dressing up as I loved doing it, only to find out that I got it wrong and ended up sitting in the classroom in a huff refusing to take my jacket off for the rest of the afternoon with everyone laughing at me. I was NOT pleased and my mum still gets the story out for special occasions





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Old Jul 18th 2006, 9:02 pm
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Originally Posted by Bleech
Ok I'm not proud, I'll go first.
Up until about 2 years ago I seriously thought that the Colonels tie from KFC was his arms and legs. Have a look at this picture and you'll see what I mean. I was always puzzled as to why they drew his head so big and his arms and legs so thin

My beloved OH hardly ever puts a foot wrong, he's a real sweetie. However, a few years ago, he had responsibility for an employee who was located in a different country. She really wasn't very good and also used to fiddle things, anyway, I worked for the same firm at that time and she drove me mad....she also wound up lots of other people and OH had constant earache about her.

So when he had to draft a reply to her asking for another large payrise, he added a lot of comments in about her being useless, expensive, etc and sent it to his boss by email for his comments.

Unfortunately, he pressed the wrong reply button and sent it directly to her.....took him 3 days to tell me, by which time we were on hols, when we came back, she had been reassigned! He felt sooooo bad.
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Old Jul 19th 2006, 1:25 am
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Default Re: Embarrassing Stories

Recently i was in a washroom, they were very small and not much room to wash your hands, only two basins. I lent over my friend to dispense some soap and the soap shot out from the side of the machine and landed straight in another ladies face i looked at my empty hand and at her face full of soap... you get the picture.


When moving house i e-mailed all my friends to tell them of our new address. One friend replied and was updating me with news back home. She was also telling me about her Husbands Vasectomy :scared: and how sore he was and how large his b**** were. Anyway instead of replying just to me she had hit the "reply all". She had just informed EVERYONE i know, parents, church, my children's friends from school in England. The funny thing is, he wanted to keep it quiet .
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Old Jul 19th 2006, 3:06 am
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I gotta another one!

When my son was about 4, we went to the indoor pool to swim. Being as how he was just 4, he came in the women's change room. Anyway, there was a really overweight woman getting changed at the same time. My son said in a very loud voice "Mom, Mom - look at that big fat lady!" So I said yes ok be quiet - or something similar, to which he responded "Yes, but look at her big ugly flaps!" She had these big - umm ... flaps of loose floppy skin hanging off her stomach etc.

I was completely mortified, but luckily he left it at that and the lady said absolutely nothing!!
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