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-   -   do you indulge in spanking (https://britishexpats.com/forum/maple-leaf-98/do-you-indulge-spanking-564570/)

sarahandshaun Oct 4th 2008 11:21 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 
I've smacked both my kids on the backside and bit my daughter on the back of the hand once (not proud of it) after she drew blood on another child. We've tried the naughty step, time out, 1-2-3 and removing toys and possessions but to name a few. They usually worked for about a week then would have no effect at all. I got a clip round the lug when I was a kid and they still stick out, but seriously though it didn't do me any harm. Back in the seventies we didn't have the internet and the support groups we have today. Now the most effective way of getting our kids to behave is to take their horse riding away if they get to 3 strikes. But surely this is potentially damaging in a phsycological way, that they are scared of being naughty on a daily basis just so they can go horse riding once a week. Who's wrong, who's right? All I know is I'm old school and would rather take a clip round the lug and get the rollicking over with. We do however, sit our children down and explain to the best of our abillities the rights and wrongs in life and hopefully we'll get it right and they still get to go horse riding on a regular basis, which is the case so far. Great thread!

Lorna_D Oct 4th 2008 12:24 pm

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Katie76 (Post 6845291)
hmmm, I realise this post wasn't for myself, although I did agree with Coffeepot.

Nothing wrong with emotive opinions,.. well I never thought anyhow :confused:. Just different opinions.

Everyone's different, this is a worldwide forum, not just for the Canadians or whoever,.. or have I jumped the fence ? :blink: Shhhh' t,.. man, how high do you want them !!!? :blink:

As said before,.. I seriously didn't realise we needed a ticket ?:ohmy:

Sorry Katie I really don't know where you are coming from. I'll address your last statement, you don't need a ticket to post on BE this is a forum for people who are in the same boat, they are emigrating or immigrants and this one is for Canada however it is great to hear from people from any group. I put no fences up, I'm Welsh and have only been in Canada for a year myself. Feel free to make any comments you want to whoever you want, all posts are legitimate, they may not be interesting to everyone but that's ok :thumbup:

With regard to CP my concerns are genuine:wub:, if you search through our posts you will find that she often refers to me as mum and I am concerned with the emotion in her posts from a purely friendly perspective.

A lesson I have learned PM people in future.;)

Katie76 Oct 4th 2008 4:06 pm

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Lorna_D (Post 6845467)
Sorry Katie I really don't know where you are coming from. I'll address your last statement, you don't need a ticket to post on BE this is a forum for people who are in the same boat, they are emigrating or immigrants and this one is for Canada however it is great to hear from people from any group. I put no fences up, I'm Welsh and have only been in Canada for a year myself. Feel free to make any comments you want to whoever you want, all posts are legitimate, they may not be interesting to everyone but that's ok :thumbup:

With regard to CP my concerns are genuine:wub:, if you search through our posts you will find that she often refers to me as mum and I am concerned with the emotion in her posts from a purely friendly perspective.

A lesson I have learned PM people in future.;)

Ok, no worries (am not going to search through posts though. Not my business).
I didn't realise the concern with CP. Sorry about that.
I wasn't to know.

Hope all is well though, with you both :wub:

Coffeepot Oct 4th 2008 8:18 pm

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Lorna_D (Post 6845467)
Sorry Katie I really don't know where you are coming from. I'll address your last statement, you don't need a ticket to post on BE this is a forum for people who are in the same boat, they are emigrating or immigrants and this one is for Canada however it is great to hear from people from any group. I put no fences up, I'm Welsh and have only been in Canada for a year myself. Feel free to make any comments you want to whoever you want, all posts are legitimate, they may not be interesting to everyone but that's ok :thumbup:

With regard to CP my concerns are genuine:wub:, if you search through our posts you will find that she often refers to me as mum and I am concerned with the emotion in her posts from a purely friendly perspective.

A lesson I have learned PM people in future.;)

always looking out for me :wub:


Originally Posted by Katie76 (Post 6845732)
Ok, no worries (am not going to search through posts though. Not my business).
I didn't realise the concern with CP. Sorry about that.
I wasn't to know.

Hope all is well though, with you both :wub:

Thanks Katie Lorna is my adoptive mum as she said but thank you for your post :thumbsup:

It is something i feel very strongly about, so probably best i bow out,
Just hope the parents that do smack really think about it before they do it and yes it does scar :wub:

Dave+Jules Oct 5th 2008 12:19 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 
Thank you Lorna for helping to clarify my post to CP.

I don't think I have anything further to add to this thread, you all now my opinion (hopefully) and I just wanted to reinstate that displaying a lack of affection if worse than being slapped.

My Mum should to hit me whenever I did something wrong (I wasnt an easy kid ..... I know that may be difficult for you all to believe :D). No real show of affection (hugs, etc). My father was working long hours and then choosing to spend his time somewhere else so he didnt display any real affection.

However I respect my parents and would never do anything to deliberately hurt them (apart from emigrate to Canada:blink:).

I think the lack of affection thing has been a role model I have replicated with my kids. I have found it so hard to spontaneously show affection and it is still a struggle even now. Luckily Jules doesn't, and she has helped me move away from the cold distant father role model. This should break the cycle here, especially as I have no sons who will take a lead from my behaviour.:o

Remember your actions, and inactions, cast a long shadow into the future

Maria10 Oct 5th 2008 2:55 pm

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 
I am not in agreement with spanking, particularly if you are using it as a punishment for undesirable behavior. So your child hits another child and you tell him that is wrong by hitting him? :blink:

Almost Canadian Oct 6th 2008 2:33 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Maria10 (Post 6848047)
I am not in agreement with spanking, particularly if you are using it as a punishment for undesirable behavior. So your child hits another child and you tell him that is wrong by hitting him? :blink:

Looks like those that think that spanking is wrong in Canada need to change the law. Teachers etc, are allowed to over here, straight from the Criminal Code:

http://www.canlii.org/ca/sta/c-46/sec43.html

dbd33 Oct 6th 2008 2:38 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Almost Canadian (Post 6849422)
Looks like those that think that spanking is wrong in Canada need to change the law. Teachers etc, are allowed to over here, straight from the Criminal Code:

http://www.canlii.org/ca/sta/c-46/sec43.html

Surely this is a moral issue, the law has nothing to do with it.

Maria10 Oct 6th 2008 2:42 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 
Wait a minute...are you all saying teachers are allowed to use corporal punishment in schools in Canada? If so, how common is this???


One of the reasons I wanted to move there is for one of my sons (special needs) to enjoy school without witnessing or being a victim of corporal punishment since schools here (Caribbean) use it.


Now I am completely shocked...

dbd33 Oct 6th 2008 2:45 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Maria10 (Post 6849444)
Wait a minute...are you all saying teachers are allowed to use corporal punishment in schools in Canada? If so, how common is this???


One of the reasons I wanted to move there is for one of my sons (special needs) to enjoy school without witnessing or being a victim of corporal punishment since schools here (Caribbean) use it.


Now I am completely shocked...


No need for panic, beatings in schools are not common. I imagine they're legal only to appease fringe religionists.

Maria10 Oct 6th 2008 2:49 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 
Still shocked that a modern country like Canada makes such primitive method of discipline legal.

Almost Canadian Oct 6th 2008 2:55 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by dbd33 (Post 6849434)
Surely this is a moral issue, the law has nothing to do with it.

No, the law says it's legal, whether you choose to depends on your moral stance - seems straightforward to me :eek:

Almost Canadian Oct 6th 2008 2:56 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Maria10 (Post 6849472)
Still shocked that a modern country like Canada makes such primitive method of discipline legal.

I guess that depends on your viewpoint

dbd33 Oct 6th 2008 2:56 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Maria10 (Post 6849472)
Still shocked that a modern country like Canada makes such primitive method of discipline legal.

Canada has a powerful neo-conservative movement, the Prime Minister himself is something of a fundamentalist. Specific provinces have a recent murky history of eugenics and experimentation upon the mentally ill. It's not quite accurate to view the country as being "modern" in the sense of being what a European would consider "progressive". Nonetheless, one rarely hears of teachers assaulting students, it's certainly not usual.

dbd33 Oct 6th 2008 2:58 am

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Originally Posted by Almost Canadian (Post 6849485)
No, the law says it's legal, whether you choose to depends on your moral stance - seems straightforward to me :eek:

Well quite. I was objecting to your suggestion that people who oppose corporal punishment should attempt to change the law. No need for that.


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