Hey

Well, it's been the holiday's and the New year, and everyone has had load going on, but I've been feeling a bit miffed and left out...

I did get cards from nearly all my mates from the UK at Christmas however they were very short on conversation most of them, even though I wrote a whole heap to each of them about life here in Canada etc..

Anyway - some of my best mates haven't written for weeks, when I'd got used to at least weekly emails from them and I'm feeling a bit sad about it. I know it's a self indulgent post, but it's my reason for writing...

I guess also it's the new year, and I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself with my best mates not here. I've got some amazing friends here, but when you want to speak to those nearerst and dearest about personal things then you do miss those friends...!

I guess I'll crack out of it, I'm not sad just a bit miffed and feeling a tad lonesome.

Bxx

Aww B I know how you feel - its that whole "call the girlies at 2 in the morning issue to tell em you bought some new shoes" type thing.

Its just that you want to share whats going on with your nearest and dearest.

Unfortunately because they can't relate to the things that you have done the shine has worn off for them - and they don't feel that same connection.

It took me a good 10 months of working with some people (who have now become very close) to get anywhere near the stage that you get to when you feel the need to share stuff.

It will come - trust me - and don't hold it against your mates - its just that people time and places move on, and until that point - you have all of us on facebook remember !!!!! (Thats what your staus update is for - we can see what you need to tell us and we can relate to what you are saying because we've all been there - or are still there!!)

Bigs hugs mate its a toughie but one you will come through with shining colours

Thanks MMC

It's just odd that my 2 best mates haven't written to me since Christmas. And they used to write at least once / week, if not more often. I hope I haven't done anything to upset them, I'm sure I haven't.

I have loads of personal things I'd like to talk to them about, get advice about and they arne't there....

If it was a shoe issue I wouldn't need to ask them!!!!

Bx

At least there are two of you there.... yourself AND Bandit, Bandit.

I don't hear much from back home either. I see it as I moved away, chose to leave them behind and some were hurt by this. In fairness I can't complain that they don't contact me when the distance is purely my making.

It hurts, but you need to get over it. I find a martini helps with this process.

I think it happens to everyone. You have lots of new and interesting stuff to tell them..... they are still doing the same old same old. It will get get better, honest.

What are you telling them? If it's all about how great your life is here, yadda, yadda, yadda, then they might be somewhat pissed off that they're not here with you or think you're blowhardy. If you tell them that things are not as good as you thought they would be and you're thinking about going home to UK they may well smile and have a sweet taste of schadenfreude.

I had to look up blowhardy

I'm on a quest to create new words.

A lexiquest perhaps?

Easy for you to say.

If I have my new teeth in, and the right glue

It never ceased to amaze me who kept in touch and who didn't after I moved places over the years. Always a surprise.

Agreed, though I think you could have sugar-coated it a little for bandit. She's feeling low enough already.

Maybe they read your letters and miss you a lot, but haven't written because they're stuck in the same-old, same-old rut and don't want to admit it. I think part of such a big move to Canada is that people do lose the same level of friendship with some of the people they leave behind, but make new friends over here who can grow to become just as good friends who help you grow differently to how your old friends helped.

Keep trying to let your UK friends know what you're up to, and when they feel ready they'll have something to tell you. Chin up and keep that stiff upper lip no matter how hard it is to apply the war paint on a Friday night.

I think very few people really miss us, if missing someone means a deep emotion. People get on with their lives, other things, people, activities, fill the spaces we vacated. For most friends and family left behind there has only been a small change in their lives.

Those of us who make the move have a huge adjustment and we miss the familiar, and that includes our friends. We miss them more than they miss us.

For those who really do miss us, well, we left them, abandoned them to come and live in another country. Our actions tell them that we can be happier without them, that what we have is better than what they have.

If you miss them, then write and tell them so, tell them why.

It is hard, but you have to move forwards, these friendships will change, it maybe for the better, maybe worse, but you have to accept the change.

Plus its January and everyone is miserable in the New Year.