When I was a girl my dad was really big on table manners. I was really taken aback the first few times I visited my in laws, where my boyf turned from this well mannered eater, who had actually impressed me by how well he ate in restaurants, into a shovelling machine at his parents house. Why are the eyties so into their food and yet such bad eaters? The one thing that really bugs me, even now, is the habit of just helping yourself to whatever you want, without asking if anyone else wanted any too. I have learned to eat at super speed in fifth gear at my in laws otherwise i wont get a look in. In fact a friend of mine has a great story about one christmas at her in laws; she left the table as the secondo got brought out to help her daughter go to the loo, came back and there was nothing left to eat. Not even hubby has thought to save her anything.

I have noticed lots of Italians who seem to shovel pasta in their mouths without ever properly chewing and swallowing a mouthful before adding more pasta.
I've lost count of the number of people I have seen licking knives and my personal pet peeve is that nobody here seems to have been told to put their knife and fork toghther on the plate when they have finished eating and not just leave them sticking out any old how.

Yeah the shovelling thing cant be good for your body can it? My hubby can eat a steak in about 5 pieces.

Why don't they put their knife and fork together?? That bugs me so much!!! I'm forever telling my husband to set a good example to our children and put them together.
Another thing that makes me sooo cross is no one waits for everyone to be served before they dig in. It's quite embarrasing every time we go to mil's as everyone starts eating and my 3 yrd old says's "Mummy, they're naughty, they're not waiting" haha It's a shame if a 3 yr old has to teach adults a bit of table manners but frustrating for me as it doesn't really back my polite theory up when the poor little kid sees the majority of people just tucking in and sod the rest.
When they're invited to our house, I'm still serving the food and they've already eaten half their pasta...that's just plain rude where I come from!!!

I did a lot of waitressing when I was aged 16 to 18 - both in a restuarant and also as a silver service waitress for a large club type place specialising in grand dinners.

We were NEVER allowed to start clearing a table until everyone had finished ........... something that the Italians do as soon as one plate is empty. I was taught that it was so rude to start clanking crockery and cutlery when people were still eating. Italian waiting staff do this all the time .... and because people here do not put their knife and fork together they often can't tell if a person really has finished - so they have to interrupt too to ask "ha finito?"

That could be one reason why the chemists are always fully stocked with indigestion pills and liquids and why so many diferent "digestivi" drinks exist here - and why people will not walk, swim or do anything slightly vigorous after eating ----- it takes that much longer for their food to digest as half of it hasn't been chewed !

Oh! I was just going to say that! all the shelves in the supermarket crammed full of digestivi. My boyfriend and his friends are mostly polite and wait for everyone before they start... but they do the knife and fork thing. I thought maybe it was good manners here to leave them sprawled apart on the plate! Or that if you put them together it meant something insulting (i got carried away remembering those old HSBC ads in england about how 'in china, if you finish your meal they are insulted because they think you didn't eat enough and they bring you more food but in another place if you don;t finish the meal they are insulted blah blah).

Its always nice to see good manners, because as my Gran says manners cost nothing!

One thing that winds me up is that fact that my wife has been brought up to say fork & knife instead of knife & fork! Now this may sound like I'm being anal, but you say it quickly and you'll see what I mean

are we to presume then that wife is not British?

It never crossed my mind before but maybe that is why we don't put the fork first.
I can only imagine how "fork 'n' knife" would come out with some British accents - even better Irish ones - lol

Jaysus Christ - would ye ever pass a me a fekking fok'n'knife ?

I read somewhere that more and more people don't bother with knives anymore, at least when they are eating. Suppose that this way its easier to keep an elbow on the table at all times.

did you read it in Italian ???
Is true for pasta and risotto and I've also seen people with a steak and mash or whatever on their plate - use the fork and knife to chop the steak - and then pass the fork to right hand to eat the mash, veg and previously chopped up pieces of meat !!!!!!!!!
I was always told that my fork was NOT a shovel - not even for bloody roll around the plate peas !!!!!!!!!!!!!
And as for elbows on the table ...................

Maybe we could set up a school 'The English School of Table Manners and Etiquette' - teach them a thing or 2 ...what !!

I can't remember where I read it but it was a while ago so probably in English. I have a feeling it was written about the US of A.

As to the school of manners, could have a module on how to make a pot of tea (put the tea bag in BEFORE the BOILING water)?

So who's been making you tea recently and not doing it properly .... and what ... no silver ????? Sugar tongs ????
Sweetie dahhhhling

I have to make my own. Coffee on tap though.
Do I get a kiss next time?