Fat people - I need help
 

OK I admit it I have weight issues.

Actually, it's the OH that has issues with my weight. I have tried dieting and cutting out bread and limiting myself to just half a bottle of prosecco but I don't seem to last more than 2 to 3 days of a diet. I could go through a whole 2 days eating nothing but crappy salad but then in the evening I'd eat a whole chocolate bar and a bag of peanuts.

Anyway, I think the problem is psychological because I'm afraid to be skinny or something like that. So I need help, ideally from ex-depressed fat people who are now normal and skinny. I want to lose between 5 to 10kg and keep it off. I'd rather not do any exercise like running or cycling - it just wouldn't work. I'm thinking something with the results of anorexia but not as drastic. Has anyone been hypnotised to avoid eating junk food? Would I need to be hypnotised in English or Italian?

FYI, if it helps, I'm 6' and 87kg, good looking, well hung and male.

PS I need to lose the fat within the next 2 months because I have the perennial problem of fitting into my suits for an exhibition in May.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

I bet if you cut out the alcohol and just drank water for the next two months, you'd lose weight.

Having said that, when I tried it, I didn't even last a week.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

HOw old are you? Gets more difficult with age.---- but I jsut dont eat anything with more than 10% fat - and it goes, so no cheese Im afraid, but the rest isnt bad - and walk up and down hills a lot!

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

What worked for me 94Kg to 82kg was a strict focus on portion control - putting less on my plate every meal but I did do a fair bit of running too.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

I'm almost 40 and yes it's getting harder to shift the extra KG put on at Xmas. In the last couple of years I've been in a car accident and had a slipped disc so that has put a limit on the type of exercise I can do.

OK cut the fat I can understand but it's controlling myself. For example, I got home from the cinema last night and had a cous cous and chicken salad with 1 glass of Prosecco. Then after a bit I got the munchies and had 2 mini Magnum ice creams. I know I shouldn't of had the ice cream and Prosecco.

Are there things like Weight Watcher clubs in Italy.

So nobody has anything to say about hypnotism?

Even sex is not what it once was. Maybe this is in direct correlation with my weight? The more I put on the less I put in?

How strict? Running is something I really want to avoid having to do. Have you seen that gadget to help you diet, it's a wi-fi enabled fork that monitors how you eat?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

You are not seriously overweight for your height , just a bit chubby would you try swimming ? ....If you can't control your eating , and don't want to excercise then maybe hypnosis could be your answer but I bet its an expensive business . a friend tried acupunture and that really helped but as soon as she stopped going the weight came back ... How desperate are you I guess getting tape worm would be out of the question ?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

How would they put the tape worm in? I didn't know you could buy them? Hope they don't put them up the bum.

I took swimming classes last year but it didn't seem to do the trick. This year I've swapped swimming classes for postural gym - I started going twice a week since February but it's not high impact at all.

How could accupunture help with weight loss?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

There are Weightwatchers here, Duffer cos one of OH's cousin tried them. Not as good/succesful as the UK version. You should go to a dietician. They could work out a diet of things you like eating. And simple thing like using a smaller plate, eating a pizza margarita and not a fancy one, and if you must have a Mc don't eat the fries and drink water etc. And don't buy/keep snacks in the house!

I actually have the opposite problem with my men i.e getting them to eat high calorie food and keeping loads of snacks handy which I then eat too.:o So I'm really not in a place to preach.:(

With your back, there aren't a lot of sports you can do, but you need to do something! 40 and no sport at all is not good at all. We have a couple of fantastic Wellness centres here with pools and Spa's and dieticians/ specialists etc. Anything similar your way? Wife would love it too.;)

Like this. http://www.aquardens.it/mappa

At 40, you need to start looking at your men's health. Get your dr to start adding PSA to your blood test. It's not worth much, but it's a starting point. And your need to get a check up too.:D We women do it, so you men need to suck it up and go too.:lol:

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

The tape worm idea was a JOKE ! the accupunture is suppose to surpress your apetite , google the idea there's a whole lot of stuff out there . The fastest way the lose weight has to be to stop drinking and stay away from nasty snacks .

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

No, I think it's a great idea. I've tried googling 'tape worms online' but they're available in Mexico only and cost about $1500 so forget that! Hypnotism is the cheaper alternative.

I suppose I should get my prostate checked but I'm afraid it'll ruin the fun afterwards.

I'm afraid of wellness centres. Aren't they just fancy expensive gyms?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

You want to pay to get a parasite ? Surely you can just get one free from nature ? I'd start by eating undercooked pork rather than ...

Tapeworms tend to be flat, segmented and ribbon-like. Humans can catch them by:

•touching contaminated faeces (stools) and then placing their hands near their mouth
•swallowing food or water containing traces of contaminated faeces
•eating raw contaminated pork, beef or fish
.http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Tapewor...roduction.aspx

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Can I suggest:

-walk away from the prosecco, fizzy drinks and ice cream isles in the supermarket, if you do not have the alcohol and snacks in the house, you will not eat them

-eat normal food( by normal I do not mean fatty meat and loads of pasta and cheese) served on a side plate, NOT on a dinner plate, thus your body will get used to smaller quantities and adapt, burning the fat already accumulated

-walk several flights of stairs everytime you leave/return to your apartment and take the lift for some of the way.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Liposuction-it's the only way to go! Expensive but instantantaneous---and no faeces need be involved.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Liposuction? It all comes down to cost. If liposuction costs more than the $1500 for the tapeworm then I'll do the tapeworm thing, even if I have to stick it up my bum. If hypnotism is cheaper than the tapeworm, then at least my bum won't suffer. Currently I'm feeling the pinch so it's either the weight-watchers or anorexia.

My problem with alcohol is not that I'm alcoholic but I binge on it but you're right, if I don't have it in the house it will help me.

But not buying snacks will not work. I've tried it. I always find something - usually something of Brando's - a kinder and nesquik milkshake with banana, peanut butter and maple syrup. There is always something about. I need something that will stop me trying to find something. Something to stop the craving. Like a nicorette patch for food craving?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Handcuffs and mittens then?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Leg irons to slow you down?

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Great Idea ! if your OH handcuffs you to the bed then you won't be able to eat or drink in the evenings .. Just make sure you've got a TV in there with you incase she goes off with her friends for a night out / spa weekend

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Buy some nicorette tablets from the chemist anyway.

When my mum decided to stop smoking she had some from her Dr. She gave me one to try.

It made me feel bloody sick for hours.

That'd stop you eating snacks.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

I have subscribed to this thread, because it is the funniest and most informative thread on the website.

Duffer, go with the tapeworm and if it works let us know. I also have a pound or 30 to lose and don't want to resort to dieting or exercising.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

http://www.heyquiz.com/quiz/tapeworm

please don't share the results ...

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Zumba ? You have a big tv so dvd and off you go !!!!

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

I would love to see Duffer doing Zumba :rofl:
Worth giving up a bacon butty and a bottle of prosecco for.

Have you got a Wii Duffer?
I've got a Wii personal trainer.
Only been looked at once :lol:

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

this would definitely work..........

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

That big TV can surely get Active channal and UK Fitness, they have shows that range from '' The Pain behind the Frame '' to '' make me a beauty queen 2 '' Personally I can't get either channel but the web site blurb looks promising

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

That's not you is it ? :scarper:

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Yous lot are taking the piss now. What do I do with the mittens? Handcuffed to the bed? might work but only if I can keep one hand free in case I get bored.

I don't have a Wii but an Xbox360, Lorna, what's wrong with your personal trainer?

Anyway, another example of my problem, this lunchtime I came home determined not to have any snacks. I had about 100g of Brie cheese and 1 grilled sausage. I said to myself that is it and nothing else, no snacks. Absolutely no snacks and within 10 seconds I went and got myself a mini Magnum from the kitchen. When it comes to snacks, I have no control. Just writing this I am thinking about a pack of honey roasted cashew nuts that I opened the other day...

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Nah!.. but it could be.. except I don't have any tights

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

There's nothing wrong with my Wii personal trainer.

I sat on the sofa one day and watched one of her routines and just thought "I can't be effing bothered"

No motivation is my problem.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Connie you kinky bitch, please send me some more of your photos.

Now, I can just imagine the scene when OH comes home with some friends and finds me on the bed in tights and heels with an orange in my mouth... it's a strict diet love...

I know I need to be disciplined with a diet but that's extreme LOL

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

You don't need help with a diet then, you need to develope some will power and stop buying the snacks! :popcorn::drinkwine:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...your-willpower

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

That's good advice. I'll will start from this very moment. No snacks this afternoon. Then after work I'll got postural gym and I'll be home around 8.30. I'll have just salad for dinner and no snacks or booze.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

As soon as you've had the salad take a sleeping pill and go to bed . That should cover points 1 +3+4 at least for day one

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

I went to a freebie cuban dance class once. I swear that the teacher had hip connections that were different to mine. Nice buns though.ummm bread

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Nesquick and banana, maple syrup, peanut butter! :ohmy: You can keep one or 2 things for son and nothing else! Don't buy them!:D

Not all Wellness centres are snooty. Admittedly, not cheap though.:D

You could attempt to catch Salmonella. Another fast way to lose weight.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

managed to lose 2 stone in 6 months - and needed to after a "minor" injury twisting my knee in the snow and ice twice in a week.

reduced the wine from two to one bottles a day, ate more fresh fruit, had things like apple+cheese with toast for breakfast. Lunch similar.
Mediterranean diet for evening dinner, but make sure it is size monitored.

if there is the desire to snack - especially when using the computer - then try fresh fruit.
same with drinks, reduce the sugar by 50% or more, use smaller cups instead of large mugs.

most importantly - daily exercise walking, most things from our house are up hill in this village so it is necessary anyway. Hide the car keys and only use it when going out of the village or you have a large load. Use a granny trolley for the shopping. But try to increase a) the distance and b) the speed on a weekly basis.

But - provide yourself a present at the end of each week. Just don't turn it into a pig-out.

Remember to stick to the clock, always have meals at the same time, usually approx 6-7 hours apart.

hth

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

P.S. Us! Take the piss! Never!:rofl:

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Every meal, every portion but allowed myself the odd treat. Essentially more exercise and less food. You don't have to run

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Diarrhoea-guaranteed. Go eat some old cheese or better still prawns.
Anorexia is difficult to maintain Duffer unless one is totally committed and under the age of 25 when starting.
Bulimia is a practised art but can have very positive results.

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Well, just thought of something-the PUG.

Now it is the right time to talk to musus about it, get the pug and go walk it, surely she prefers a dog to a pot belly husband;)

Re: Fat people - I need help
 

Duffer - have you tried glancing at reflection in a full length mirror, in the windows of a shop ??
that can be a :eek: as your mind doesn't realise how fat you have got and who is that freak standing next to the wife?