cinzia

Hi everyone, I moved to Italy last August, for the love of a man! but left behind my family and my twin sister who i am very close to, i feel really guilty because i left her to look after my elderly parents, my mother is not the easiest person to get on with, my twin is married and has a son living with her so she is not on her own, whereas before i had been on my own for many years, my daughter left home when she was 18 and told me to go and make a life in Italy as it was my turn to find some happiness, anyway i am very happy with my OH but really feel very guilty about leaving my twin in England, here's the question, is it normal to feel guilty? sometimes i feel torn in two, its awful!

Sherlock Holmes

Guilt, or implied guilt anyway, is one of the world's biggest killers.

Don't feel guilty, have some "ME" time.

indiebird

It's easy to feel guilty. As Brits we often were (and are) told that it's wrong to do what we feel like doing. We are supposed to do what is expected of us even if it makes us sad.

I find a lot of the 'catty comments' I get from people (family and friends) in the UK and here are based on jealousy. What you have to remember is is that you've had the guts to jump into the unknown and try something out. Many people will never have the bottle to do that. I tend to smile sweetly and remember that 'whatever other people say about me behind my back is none of my damn business' and carry on living my life the way I want to. As long as you are not hurting anyone else then fine. Others might need to adjust but you are not responsible for making other people feel happy or comfortable. They have to figure this out for themselves.

Pecora Nera

Totally agree, All I can add is you get one shot at this life so make the most of it and find some happiness.

TestaRossa

I'm with the above!! We left the North of England for the South, in the process leaving all my family but more importantly forcing my OH's brother to take on their mother. He could play dutiful son every Sunday but when she needed something it was always us there were expected to drop everything and dash to her rescue - not possible from 500 miles away!! So we had already made the cut when we came out to Italy. She came to visit, but boy did we pay a price for it!!! Anyway, she is now dead, we never speak to the brother but I'm still in touch regularly with my family....At the end of the day if your sister values you and loves you she will understand what you have done and why - I guess the answer is be understanding when she needs a break!! Or, maybe more to the point, have a think about what she would have done in the same situation... that might either increase your guilt or assuage it!! It's your life so only you can live it!

Lorna at Vicenza

I'm with all of the above too - and with cheap flights these days it's cheaper than it once was to nip back and forth and for your family to fly out here for some summer sun.