jvc

I am just curious to know of any expats who are living in very small hamlets. Reason is, we have always loved the peace and quiet of the countryside and live in a hamlet on the edge beautiful village. It is bliss. However, we would like some ideas on meeting neighbours. Our village has nothing socially going on really. We missed the annual new year get together because of work.
I am interested to know how people have made friends in their villages. The nearest town has a great social scene, but we would like to meet more local neighbours, and short of going and knocking on peoples doors introducing ourselves it's hard, especially in the Winter, when everyone is coccooned indoors.
In the UK pubs are always a great meeting place, but France doesn't have that in the smaller villages.

Harvester523

We live in a hamlet - 4 inhabited houses and one parisien holiday home. The best way to meet your neighbours is to have a problem - or for them to have one. Knock on doors! Our neighbours did and invited us for Christmas lunch when we arrived in December. Have a barbie but be aware that they're generally not very adventurous.
We hardly see our neighbours but we take in next doors frozen food if she's not there, we share agricultural equipment with another, do animal sitting swaps. They tend not to live in your pockets, but are there if you need assistance and vice versa, which is just fine by us.
The village is where we help out with the annual motorcycle trial, and a neighbour is a marshal for VTT, other than that, we don't see many from the village either.
If you have a local bar, it's just as good as a pub for meeting people - we've met a few that way, and they'll ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Even waiting for the local shop to open you can meet new people. Are there any local organisations? there's one here which likes to keep the local chemins open, have walks etc. - search for patrimoine in your area.

dennerlymum

HI jvc, we went to the Mairie first of all and looked on the notices to see if anything was happening - we joined the first thing that was, which was a day cleaning a local chapel, then we went to the annual fête and finally we joined the comité de fêtes - not huge fun but we now have a good circle of acquaintances in the village! Good luck

jvc

Thanks. Nothing very local. We have met the neighbour next door, and had Christmas eve with him and his family which was really lovely. We have met the Marie twice, and was very friendly. He said there wasn't really anything much going on...ie Randonées etc. There is just a creche, so bits and pieces for kids, which won't suit us. The nearest town is 10 mins away, but not really "local" to us. We want to meet neighbours really. We thought about the BBQ thing for the Summer, but hopefully we will make an excuse to knock on one or tw doors then I get the impression most keep themselves to themselves, and our neighbour said the same. We know of one neighbour who wants to meet us, but he is away alot with work. Still much nicer than living in the city! Every time we go into town we are so glad to get home again!
Also, I am not sure we are quite as "brave" as some as just joining a local group, even if we found one! Our french is still very rusty, and the thought of feeling out of our depth puts us off a little.

Harvester523

I think the way of life depends what you want - we're not very social creatures, like the quiet and being left on our own. I really think if you want a social scene you should be in a village or town. Villages are not without their own problems though - just like the UK, an us and them mentality. We certainly came here with social things last on our agenda You making the first move is very likely the only way it will happen!
All I can suggest is have each individual family round for aperos, you may find a lasting friendship that way and it will improve your French as well.

dmu

Forgive me for pointing out that Marie is a girl's name. The Mayor is "Maire" and the Town hall is "Mairie" (but you're not the only one who makes this mistake!).
We've lived in a hamlet with about 50 inhabitants for 20 years and I've made friends over the years with most of them by dint of going to gym, craft classes, even church. Or simply talking to them when walking the dog. Down in the main village there are the other activities that I mentioned in another thread, which unfortunately you haven't got, and contacts with mothers of my daughters' friends when they were at school. I also go to other activities in our nearest town (ten minutes away).
If you want to meet French people, you must go out and find them! But IMHO not by knocking on their doors. Our neighbours (us included!) are suspicious of strangers, esp. couples, who turn out to be Jehovah's Witnesses as likely as not....
Dennerleymum's "circle of acquaintances" is all one can expect at the beginning - friendships come later.
P.S. I should add that French OH isn't as social as I am!

Harvester523

I have to disagree with that to an extent - once you're in a hamlet (and with due respect, 50 people isn't a hamlet, that's about what our local village has), everyone a) knows everything about you. Yes they are suspicious of strangers, but you living next door, while an unknown, isn't exactly a stranger. b) Mostly, they will want to get on with you, and, yes, see if there's anything in it for them. But at the same time, the people we've met are generous souls, and prepared to give as well as take. From all accounts, our predecessors were a*holes, so there wasn't too much competition for neighbour of the year. Over time you'll find you get dragged in to translate for other Brits maybe, and once we had a complete stranger knock on our door who's daughter had bought something on a UK website which hadn't turned up (it turned out they hadn't actually paid and the company had a French supplier anyway). We've also met the local huissier due to a Brit family doing a runner. You'll meet all sorts of people over time! And Jehovah's witnesses as well! It all happens in the countryside.

dmu

Maybe a mistranslation of the word "hameau"? Our Commune is composed of several hameaux dotted around the main "village" where the Mairie is. But I wouldn't call our Commune a "bourg". Difficult to find equivalents in English....

jvc

Slip of the keys maybe. Marie/Mairie....I think you know what I mean

InVinoVeritas

It's probably worth going to the local vide-grenier with stuff you want to get rid of. Sitting there all day sharing wine and charcuterie looking at (and maybe buying) each other's wares. Can't stand them myself but my wife goes to them all!

You can find out where they are here:-
http://vide-greniers.org/

You have to reserve a patch so make sure to pick one that's not in full sun.

jvc

Yes, they are good....like you say, in the Summer they can be pretty hot, dusty and crowded places to be. We never seem to find too many bargains. Unfortunately, I have a husband who likes to collect clutter rather than dispose of it

grannybunz

We live in a fairly large hameau - these days 20 houses. There are 20 such hameaux of varying sizes all of which are part of the cummune which has it's adminastrative base up in the village with the mairie, the school, the church etc etc etc.

It is very lively but, as it is a tourist village can get very busy in the season. The hameaux too is lively in a self-contained sort of way but very very friendly. Everyone, from newest baby to oldest resident (89) participate in carious events organised through the year from Père Noël's visit in December - with party to summer picnics, an Easter-egg hunt and musical evenings - we have a family of talented musicians.

When we came23years ago there were fewer houses and the central portion of the hameau was basically two big houses and two farms and the mas, divided into 5 over the years. 3 of these dwellings were inhabited one is ours. When we bought it the owner kindly answered all our questions and took us to meet our immediate neighbour who looked us up and down and answered our question "How do you feel about and English couple living next door" "Well you speak good French, you seem polite and best of all, you are not Parisien"

We became very close friends, she invited us in for a drink on the first evening and introduced her to other neighbours. If we had a problem we always asked Irène's advice and she always knew someone who could help. In turn we helped her as she got older, invited her and her family - most of them lived in the hameau too for drinks and meals, fetched shopping for her etc. We went to family weddings, first communions and sadly more than one funeral. We kept in contact when were were back in the UK.
It was Irène and her son who literally made me, in the nicest possible way, improve my French

That was the basis of getting to know everyone here.