We have less disposable income, for a family of four, than I had just for me in England.

There, I worked full time for that money. I had to be a slave to the meaningless targets in JobCentrePlus

Here I don't have to work and the money goes further.

I'm VERY happy here.

Not everyone in Calgary wants to keep up with the Joneses (as anyone that has been to our house can attest to). As another poster has said, that's a state of mind.

I do find that lots of ex-Brits in Calgary have this attitude which is why, in general, when I hear a British accent, I run a mile

Thats because you live in Cobble Hill!

Seriously though, we are happy here and look forward to spending the rest of our lives here. We have a higher standard of living, more flexibility, further opportunities for us and our children and wonderful nature and scenery to name a few things. Went back to the UK last year for a holiday and couldn't wait to board the plane back to Canada. Home is where the heart is!

You sound as though it's all a bit much! Take a deep breath and have a look to see what can be changed so your family life has a bit more quality too it.

For me the things I am happy about outweigh the things i'm not so happy about. Here are some of my goods and bads: (great grammar there)
Good:
My husband after 3 years plodding away at the same job is now on more money than he could ever earn in the UK, he works 8-5 and one saturday in 14 (better than every second saturday) and he no longer works at home either. He is doing the same job as he was in the UK.

We have a much nicer house than we could ever afford in the UK.

We have time to do stuff together as a family.

There is more for my daughter to do (that's affordable and within reach).

We can afford for me not to work, so I only work Part time in a non stressfull job, so weekends aren't spent cleaning the house and ironing.

Bad
I have a der job that is brain numbingly boring at times.

I miss my Mum and Sister.

I feel our family isn't as close as it used to be - the whole immigration thing got in the way.

On the whole I am happy here, I can't see myself living elsewhere at the moment and the dream of a campground in a few years is still very much alive. Would I want to move back to the UK - No thanks. (Can't say I will always feel that way, you only have to look at Ann M's Full circle post to see how things can change).

I hope you get to feel happier and more content, give it a little longer and you may feel it all falls into place.

I think it is a matter of time. In due course you / family might find different opportunities that may change your life 180 degree.

All my life, I had to commute close to an hour to get to work, it is the first time here more than a year I managed to get a job 10 mins from my home. As time passes, things will change.

I'm just happy that I've stopped being so angry with life(in general). Been here for just over 12 months and am like a pig rolling in it. The Mrs isn't as settled but she's working on it.

Chin up

Does your hubby have a contract of employment? Does it state hours etc.?

You wanted honesty.... it sounds like your hubby has to put his foot down and say "no". If he jumps every time his boss clicks his fingers, things could get even worse.

I know when you're new to a place, and a job, you go the extra mile to "fit in". But don't, whatever you do, think you're lucky to be here. They are just as lucky to have you. Canada's future depends on intelligent, self sufficient and adaptable newcomers. They know it. And you should know it too, and never feel that they've "done you a favour". It's not as if you're a refugee.

Discuss with hubby the possibility of him sitting down with the boss and drawing a line in the sand. Chances are it will work a treat.

No, I'm not but its my own stupid fault for thinking that anyone would want to employ a deaf middle aged woman. I

I agree with the others. Its your Oh's job. We are the opposite , as someone else has mentioned. I now see my husband and he sees way more of the kids. His job has his moments here, but it is far less stressful. We live in Calgary and have been here since end Nov 2007. I don't find it 'keep up with the jones's' either, but we don't live in a very british area and most people I meet are really grounded and normal. The beauty of somewhere like Calgary is that generally they are desparate for people and your husband should be able to find a new job!

Best wishes, I know it can be really tough.

Gryph

I just wrote a long winded essay on why I'm happy in Canada and thought bugger it I Saskatchewan

We have some people from Yorkshire who live around the corner ... well a couple of corners ... from us.

I've never really met them, but their name is Grimshaw, and for some reason we get their mail from time to time. It has their address on it, not ours, so don't know why we get it.

The weirdest thing is that our last home in UK was bought from folks named Grimshaw, so we had mail addressed to them for some time after they'd left!

Usually I place it back in the mailbox, sometimes with a note pointing out "DRIVE" NOT "WAY"! or somesuch, ...... but one day my curiosity got the better of me, and I dropped the letter into their place as we were passing. The grouchy old bag never even said "thankyou", so I won't bother again!!!

I think you have two things to think about.

1. Husbands work for one. For me it was the opposite in the UK I worked 60-70 hours a week and commuted 2-3 hours a day so missed all family life in the week. Spent Saturday recovering etc...

2. The Six month trembles, you are just getting into the stride of living here and it is only natural for people to start worrying about what they have let themselves in for. We all seem to go through it and sometimes it is re-occuring.

Do I have the answers? Nope not really.

I could say:

• Husband find another job, but I do not know enough about your situation.
• Also with your free time get out there and do stuff together this spring and summer,
• Reschedule your family eating habits to include all of you.
• Move east where we have more family friendly attitude to work life balance (I can hear them all thinking "He would say that wouldnt he"

But in reality we just worked through our blips (mostly by me stubbornly refusing to go back to the UK until we completed 2 years ). We are now into our third year and we are settled and I foresee a good year, weatherwise, financially, and emotionally.

Are we really happy? 85% of the time yes, how did this compare with happiness rating before? I would say we are up 40% So that will do for me who knows perhaps this year we will reach the dizzy heights of 90% happiness

Hi, we have been here six months.
Are we happy, god YES!!!!!!!!
Get your OH to change jobs or sit down with the boss and call a time out, he will feel much better when he has done that, and so will you, but give it some time. Take a step back and look at all the up parts of being here, good things come to those who wait. I hope it all works out for you.

Good God yes. Shorter working hours, better pay, incredible benefits, fantastic bunch of friends, amazing apartment, skiing, beautiful Summers, nature, Provincial parks, no chavs, kids bought up to respect elders, never see any violence, great micro brews, loads of Asian wimmins, Timmys!!, I'm suddenly the star of the soccer team (Canadians are crap), healthy lifestyle, NYC an hour and a half away, proper BBQs!!!!

I could go on....

Stick with it- grass is always greener- which is probably why you came here.

Hi Dave&Jules, Thanks for your reply, the contents of which I agree with> However, I think one of the problems I may have is I never ever hated the UK. There were some points that annoyed me, school intake rules, overcrowding etc, but in fact I love the UK history and most of its culture. We moved here as we have always had a wish to try new things. We love the outdoors and hoped that we could make the most of this love for it in Canada. We also hoped to be able to live in the great outdoors. Reality is we still live in a very suburban area and our family life is very restricted during the week in particular, by OH's work. We do lots together as a family at weekends, trekking, skiing ( We are in process of obtaining canoe to do lake canoeing in the summer). We are a very close family and thoroughly enjoy our time together but OH's work in encroaching into this precious time. Although we chose Calgary because we are only an hour from the mountains we are not sure if we made our first mistake there. Perhaps if we had moved just a bit further out we may be better off, but then the work might not be there, "catch 22!!" I am not scared or worried about returning to the UK if we have to but I would very much like to make the most of this experience before coming to any such conclusion. The spanner in the work is OH's job. I suppose you cant have it all!!!! Anway, I feel much better today so I will stop whinging about jobs and say bye for now and thanks for all your supportive replies.