Question, is everybody really happy with their life here in Canada. I am being brutally honest, I am not so sure!! We moved in December 2007. We went from a family who spent nearly every dinner time together to one who now hardly see each other!. My husband has gone from being home by 6.00 pm most nights to never being home much before 9.00pm when the children are in bed. Last week they did not see him at all!! OH has gone from having 6 weeks holiday a year in UK to 3 weeks here, which you always feel you have to save in case of an emergency. Weekend life as a family is great if you are not so wound up from all the weekday problems you just spend the weekend arguing!!

We did a lot of planning, for over two years, before coming here, we did reccie trips but I dont think anything prepares you for the realisation of it all. My husbands employer works him into the ground and family life is not in fact as relaxed as it was in the UK. Dont get me wrong, there are good sides to Canada, but if you are not happy within your family unit even the scenery cant mend it!

I would really appreciate some honest answers( please go easy on me though!!) I feel reading all the threads, I am the only one feeling like this. I have tried getting involved with groups etc but when you are more or less a lone parent it is impossible to even get out the front door at night. Please be honest!!!

It doesn't sound like Canada is the issue but your OH's job....there are quite a few going home from Canada so you are not alone in being unhappy.

Yup.

Thanks Bazz, your short reply made me smile

I wish I could give you a hug ((())), you sound like you need it. I know what it's like to be a married single parent!! My OH works shifts and some weeks he's heading out to work 10 mins before the kids get home from school, and other times unless he gets up at 6:30am in the morning he won't see them for 5 days in a row.!! that doesn't sound all that tough but he's not getting home until 3am. We have both talked about jobs in Canada (if we get there) and he is determined to get a 9-5 job, he feels that he's missing out on the kids everyday stuff...sometimes work gets in the way of having a life!!! mrs 007

I also think personally it has a lot to do with where you are living.

Myself and my wife are doing exactly the same jobs as we were doing in the U.K so we are looking at it from a like for like situation.

We moved to B.C and the standard of living is so much better than back at home. In the summer we spend most days at the Beach, and in the winter we have the option of the ski-ing. We had never skied before we moved here, and i'm sure i would have never started if we still lived in the U.K

As mentioned we do the same occupations as back home, but the time we spend away from work is so much better,as we always try and do something as a family, whether it be going to the Park, going the mall, etc . We have a 5 year old , and she participates in so much more here, soccer practice, swimming lessons, ski-ing lessons, which I am certain she would not be doing back home.

Everybody has there own experiences, but personally ours has been fantastic, and as much as I thought i would never say this, You would not be able to drag me back to England !

I work much longer hours here, and see less of the kids, all for less money than I made in England (in terms of cost of living here)......

My husband works more hours but for a little more money.

So I can sympathise, and we have been here since May 2007.

Susan

Sounds like your OH needs a new employer not a new country. Not all canadian employers are like that.


December 07 to April 08 is not exactly a long time to wait for everything to fall into place. Its almost too soon to even count as Cultureshock weighing in...

If it needs stating, yes, I am happy in Canada.

Second this. I'm fairly happy with Canada but things are going pear-shaped with the job and it's casting a gloomy shadow on everything.

Solution - get another job (it ain't easy but it is possible).

Good luck.

You need to give it more time really. Myself and my partner have felt that way too at times but you have to work hard and it is a struggle the first year(we've been here 14months) and probably more.
I still have 2 children in UK, only my youngest came with us, and that ive found extremely hard, but I wouldnt go back, and I am happy i moved here.
Just keep positive, it gets better.

We are the total opposite.....
My husband had his own business back in the Uk and worked 60-70 hours a week...he left before the kids got up and was home after they went to bed, we had to cram everything into our Sundays and that usually meant traipsing the kids round the shops...
Here in Canada he still works 12 hour days 6-6 but he is home just after tea each day and all weekend,we have never seen him so much...
We have been here since last August and money is tight..we dont have any spare cash at the end of the month but we are happy, the kids have their dad back...and that's worth everything..

We've been here since Feb 08, I work at least 12 hours less per week, I get home just after 5 after starting at 8am, my communte is 10 minutes at most. Yes I get paid less and I get less holidays but so far the positives outweigh the negatives.

Sounds to me like your OH needs a new job. What does he do? I work in HR............so you never know

Thanks for the replies everybody, when I re-read my thread I realised it looked like a black cloud was hovering over my head!!! I am not that bad and would not want to discourage anybody from fulfilling their dreams. However, in hindsight I wish we had located somewhere other than Calgary. It appears to me that most people are here to make a buck and i find it very corporate. My husband worked until midnight on Friday and then had his work calling him on his cell phone 3 times on Saturday!! I think this is why I have a bee in my bonnet at the moment. I moved here for the outdoor life and the hope of moving away from the " keep up with the Jones's" attitude but seem to have stepped right back into it! There are things I love about Canada but I think we must sort out the job problem first. We are going to give it at least a year before making any final decisions. Thanks again!!!

Keeping up with the Jones' is a state of mind. There are people who want to keep up with what neighbours have, new cars, big TV etc. There are however a lot of people who don't give a stuff. I moved to Calgary initially, it is a work hard play, hard city. Then moved down to the coast, which is way more laid back. Worked long hours for someone else's benefit, hated it, learned lots, work for myself now and work even longer hours.

When in a new job and country it is hard to know what it the right way to do things and when to say no. There is a tendency to just do what is asked and of course a lot depends on the type of work. Each province has an Employment Standards Branch, which lays down minimum standards and laws governing how employers should treat staff, if you want to find anything out about the rules take a look at the Alberta one.

A few months is still a holiday, even a year is not really very long, still fresh off the boat, pretty much 3 years before starting to feel like the place is home and a few more before feeling like a fixture. In that first few years many have doubts and making comparisons to what you had in the old country can make it seem even harder to settle.

We decided that after the hard work of getting in, we'd stick it out for 3 years and get citizenship and then decide, that was 14 years ago.

gapbag

I had similar issues to your husband when I moved to Calgary in 1997. My wife got upset being on her own with 2 young boys to look after when I worked long hours in first job in Canada. I can remember working 96 hours one week for less than half my previous UK income.

We moved to Ontario within 2 years for a better paid job and working conditions. I not sure what your husbands profession is, but I realised that in Canada if your in a unionised position or under a collective agreement your not expected to work excess hours and give up your family time for a job.

I made the mistake of taking a managers role and leaving the engineering collective agreement and then found myself working excess hours with little time for my family. We decided to called it a day in 2005 and returned to the UK.

If I was your husband I would seriously look for a new company to work for as there are many good companies to work for in Canada. Also try and keep away from management roles in Canada as I found as a manager you are worked pretty hard and very long hours.

I hope you and your family get the life you want in Canada.

hudd