Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Nov 21st 2008, 8:52 pm
#61
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Calgary Alberta
Posts: 19
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Hippy Chick,
Do not go back! I emigrated from the UK 15 years ago when the economy was in the dumps. I suggest that you stay on and find another location to live. We started off with our two kids in Ontario but moved later to Alberta. I couldn't get into any career choice (law enforcement, fire or ambulance) because I was white and heterosexual. I was limited for a career choice back then, but persevered and now run my own business with 60 employees (I started four years ago). I will be happy to give you any advice or assistance I can.
But go to run for now. Email or PM me.
Bill
PS. Hello everyone, new boy here!
Do not go back! I emigrated from the UK 15 years ago when the economy was in the dumps. I suggest that you stay on and find another location to live. We started off with our two kids in Ontario but moved later to Alberta. I couldn't get into any career choice (law enforcement, fire or ambulance) because I was white and heterosexual. I was limited for a career choice back then, but persevered and now run my own business with 60 employees (I started four years ago). I will be happy to give you any advice or assistance I can.
But go to run for now. Email or PM me.
Bill
PS. Hello everyone, new boy here!
Nov 21st 2008, 8:56 pm
#62
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
if life was like that then the American dream would be true
but some find they give 110% and get 10%
and others give 10% and get 110% back
life just isn't that fair
and sticking out for a year to find you still don't like it means you waste 10 mths, sticking out for longer can mean you waste longer, or worse still you resign yourself to it and adapt and that’s is sad state of affairs if you could have quit when you needed to and moved on
You can't guarantee to win on these terms just because some will succeed because some won’t; each person needs to make a decision based on their circumstances and not somebody else’s “we did so it must work” mentality
then again changing your mind isn’t failing either, its learning and discovering new things about ‘your’ world and ‘your’ opinions of it and how you want to live through it
My opinon Live your life, don’t try to live somebody elses
Nov 21st 2008, 8:57 pm
#63
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
that is unless your happy to be accused of being on the BNP list.......
Nov 21st 2008, 9:11 pm
#65
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Calgary Alberta
Posts: 19
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Not extremist Mike - that's what I was told by the recruiters themselves. But that was 15 years ago. I own and operate my own security service here and 90% of my employees are visible minorities. My wife of 20 years is Chinese and we have two kids between us. As for the BNP - well I don't have a lot of time for them, but judging by the immigration disaster that is happening in the UK, its understandable why the BNP is gaining ground. But, I'm always happy to help out my fellow Brits with employment to help them get settled.
Bill
Bill
Nov 21st 2008, 9:15 pm
#66
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Not extremist Mike - that's what I was told by the recruiters themselves. But that was 15 years ago. I own and operate my own security service here and 90% of my employees are visible minorities. My wife of 20 years is Chinese and we have two kids between us. As for the BNP - well I don't have a lot of time for them, but judging by the immigration disaster that is happening in the UK, its understandable why the BNP is gaining ground. But, I'm always happy to help out my fellow Brits with employment to help them get settled.
Bill
Bill
and its not an uncommon slant on here
Nov 22nd 2008, 2:58 am
#67
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Calgary prev Ayrshire
Posts: 74
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Hi Hippy Chick, gees! I feel for you big time! and while I agree in principle with all the other replies and advice...I know exactly how you feel, after 18 months I am ready to go back home! I feel we have given it our very best shot, however, it has never felt right....and if I'm honest I've known that from way back....I have a great job, bought a lovely house, nice friends and so on - so my advice is go with your gut, and remember you are the only person you ever have to answer to! life is way too short babe!
Nov 22nd 2008, 4:54 am
#68
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Calgary Alberta
Posts: 19
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Ok,
Let's fill in the gaps.
Hippychick, I fully understand how you feel. Four months is really not a lot of time to make a judgment call, and I felt just like you when I first landed here. We started off in Toronto, living with a cousin of my wife's for the first three months. My wife was an SRN in the UK but had to start again here as a Practical Registered Nurse. I gave up on joining the police here, but if I had stayed in the UK I would have been accepted by the Kent County Constabulary. I toughed it out doing telemarketing jobs and working as a security guard, earning $1,500 a month if I was lucky. The first year was really a challenge in settling down. Our son was a toddler when we came here, and our second son was born one month after we landed, so they are both growing up as Canadians and any re-adjustment to the move to Canada was mercifully spared on them.
We moved out of Toronto to the town of Pickering, where we were able to buy a house. My wife re-qualified as an RN here, and my employment prospects improved as I had gained "Canadian experience." We eventually moved to our current location of Calgary where I now own and operate my own security service. You wouldn't believe how difficult it has been here, finding suitable staff. I was in the Philippines last July on a recruiting trip and hired 75 national police officers to work here on a two year contract. Another Brit walked into my office and wants to live here, but needs a letter of employment to complete his emigration move, which I was happy to give him. he should be here by February next year.
Things have certainly changed over the last 40 years when Brits could move to Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) where they could literally walk into any good paying job. But I hear that life is getting tough everywhere now, and the UK is no exception. My wife has loads of relatives here, but I am the only member of my family that has emigrated. I do feel disconnected at times but still glad I moved. But, we'll be visiting family in the UK next year, just for "a look."
It's really your decision to go home Hippygirl, but I would give it at least a year.
Can anyone here tell me, has life in the UK gotten as bad as the papers report?
Cheers,
Bill
Let's fill in the gaps.
Hippychick, I fully understand how you feel. Four months is really not a lot of time to make a judgment call, and I felt just like you when I first landed here. We started off in Toronto, living with a cousin of my wife's for the first three months. My wife was an SRN in the UK but had to start again here as a Practical Registered Nurse. I gave up on joining the police here, but if I had stayed in the UK I would have been accepted by the Kent County Constabulary. I toughed it out doing telemarketing jobs and working as a security guard, earning $1,500 a month if I was lucky. The first year was really a challenge in settling down. Our son was a toddler when we came here, and our second son was born one month after we landed, so they are both growing up as Canadians and any re-adjustment to the move to Canada was mercifully spared on them.
We moved out of Toronto to the town of Pickering, where we were able to buy a house. My wife re-qualified as an RN here, and my employment prospects improved as I had gained "Canadian experience." We eventually moved to our current location of Calgary where I now own and operate my own security service. You wouldn't believe how difficult it has been here, finding suitable staff. I was in the Philippines last July on a recruiting trip and hired 75 national police officers to work here on a two year contract. Another Brit walked into my office and wants to live here, but needs a letter of employment to complete his emigration move, which I was happy to give him. he should be here by February next year.
Things have certainly changed over the last 40 years when Brits could move to Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Rhodesia (Zimbabwe) where they could literally walk into any good paying job. But I hear that life is getting tough everywhere now, and the UK is no exception. My wife has loads of relatives here, but I am the only member of my family that has emigrated. I do feel disconnected at times but still glad I moved. But, we'll be visiting family in the UK next year, just for "a look."
It's really your decision to go home Hippygirl, but I would give it at least a year.
Can anyone here tell me, has life in the UK gotten as bad as the papers report?
Cheers,
Bill
Nov 22nd 2008, 10:48 am
#69
Just Joined
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Buckinghamshire
Posts: 21
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Bill
I havent lived in the Uk for the last two years. We are in the process of going the study route for me an open work permit for my husband and we are in Dubai at present.
Yes the UK is going downhill. If the job offer with studying does not pay off then we will be staying here in Dubai for at least another couple of years.
I have no inclination to going back to the UK as personally I feel that with children becoming little adults before they have reached their teens is very much a reality. As parents we always want what is best for our kids and my DS is a follower but a well rounded child. He has been my main concern while back in the UK as he really liked what the others were doing (which was not the good stuff) and it is a concern that children are exposed to more anger, animosity, sex, drugs and underaged drinking.
The main reason for all this is pier pressure and the needs to conform with your mates and it is scary. I know bullying is always going to be an issue but it has gone way beyond a fist fight in the playground and into the internet and the mobile phone age. It just seems that the UK seems to have it rough at the moment. Schools are over subscribed and it does not seem to be lessening. Have been told by lots of family and friends not to come back to the UK if we can help it as the cost of living in the last couple of years has gone through the roof.
Again this is only my perspective but I am sure others will have their own experiences and reasons for wanting to leave.
I havent lived in the Uk for the last two years. We are in the process of going the study route for me an open work permit for my husband and we are in Dubai at present.
Yes the UK is going downhill. If the job offer with studying does not pay off then we will be staying here in Dubai for at least another couple of years.
I have no inclination to going back to the UK as personally I feel that with children becoming little adults before they have reached their teens is very much a reality. As parents we always want what is best for our kids and my DS is a follower but a well rounded child. He has been my main concern while back in the UK as he really liked what the others were doing (which was not the good stuff) and it is a concern that children are exposed to more anger, animosity, sex, drugs and underaged drinking.
The main reason for all this is pier pressure and the needs to conform with your mates and it is scary. I know bullying is always going to be an issue but it has gone way beyond a fist fight in the playground and into the internet and the mobile phone age. It just seems that the UK seems to have it rough at the moment. Schools are over subscribed and it does not seem to be lessening. Have been told by lots of family and friends not to come back to the UK if we can help it as the cost of living in the last couple of years has gone through the roof.
Again this is only my perspective but I am sure others will have their own experiences and reasons for wanting to leave.
Nov 22nd 2008, 11:04 am
#70
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: NI (back from Toronto)
Posts: 3,409
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
I moved back after 8 years in Canada and I really don't think it's as bad as what the papers say. I moved back to Northern Ireland a place that doesn't exactly have a great reputation but the bad stuff I read in the papers doesn't affect me on a daily basis. I'm so much happier since moving back here but that's mainly to do with having family around especially with 2 kids under 5.
Nov 22nd 2008, 4:45 pm
#71
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2006
Location: M'cr-Red Deer-M'cr-??
Posts: 1,309
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Bill
I havent lived in the Uk for the last two years. We are in the process of going the study route for me an open work permit for my husband and we are in Dubai at present.
Yes the UK is going downhill. If the job offer with studying does not pay off then we will be staying here in Dubai for at least another couple of years.
I have no inclination to going back to the UK as personally I feel that with children becoming little adults before they have reached their teens is very much a reality. As parents we always want what is best for our kids and my DS is a follower but a well rounded child. He has been my main concern while back in the UK as he really liked what the others were doing (which was not the good stuff) and it is a concern that children are exposed to more anger, animosity, sex, drugs and underaged drinking. My 11 year old daughter is exposed to more violence, horror and sex on the TV here in Canada because there doesn't seem to be any rules on "watershed", therefore movies and commercials for up-coming horror movies are played throughout the day. It really gripes me when we have to be on our guard and tell her to look away!!
The main reason for all this is pier pressure and the needs to conform with your mates and it is scary. I know bullying is always going to be an issue but it has gone way beyond a fist fight in the playground and into the internet and the mobile phone age. It just seems that the UK seems to have it rough at the moment. Schools are over subscribed and it does not seem to be lessening. Have been told by lots of family and friends not to come back to the UK if we can help it as the cost of living in the last couple of years has gone through the roof. Yes, but all these family and friends of yours might never have lived in any other country BUT the UK. How would they know that living in whatever country you're currently living in is the best for you? My family drive me mad when they tell me I'm in a better place - they've no idea, whereas I have! I'm the one with the experience of living life in two countries and only I know "from my experience" which country is better for me and my family!
Again this is only my perspective but I am sure others will have their own experiences and reasons for wanting to leave.
I havent lived in the Uk for the last two years. We are in the process of going the study route for me an open work permit for my husband and we are in Dubai at present.
Yes the UK is going downhill. If the job offer with studying does not pay off then we will be staying here in Dubai for at least another couple of years.
I have no inclination to going back to the UK as personally I feel that with children becoming little adults before they have reached their teens is very much a reality. As parents we always want what is best for our kids and my DS is a follower but a well rounded child. He has been my main concern while back in the UK as he really liked what the others were doing (which was not the good stuff) and it is a concern that children are exposed to more anger, animosity, sex, drugs and underaged drinking. My 11 year old daughter is exposed to more violence, horror and sex on the TV here in Canada because there doesn't seem to be any rules on "watershed", therefore movies and commercials for up-coming horror movies are played throughout the day. It really gripes me when we have to be on our guard and tell her to look away!!
The main reason for all this is pier pressure and the needs to conform with your mates and it is scary. I know bullying is always going to be an issue but it has gone way beyond a fist fight in the playground and into the internet and the mobile phone age. It just seems that the UK seems to have it rough at the moment. Schools are over subscribed and it does not seem to be lessening. Have been told by lots of family and friends not to come back to the UK if we can help it as the cost of living in the last couple of years has gone through the roof. Yes, but all these family and friends of yours might never have lived in any other country BUT the UK. How would they know that living in whatever country you're currently living in is the best for you? My family drive me mad when they tell me I'm in a better place - they've no idea, whereas I have! I'm the one with the experience of living life in two countries and only I know "from my experience" which country is better for me and my family!
Again this is only my perspective but I am sure others will have their own experiences and reasons for wanting to leave.
Nov 22nd 2008, 5:15 pm
#72
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 520
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
Hi,
I'm quite new to BE but I feel that this is the only place to get the answers I need to help me with maybe the biggest dilemma I face in my life. Here goes:
We (me, OH and 2 kids aged 12 & 13) moved to SW Ontario on June 1st this year on a TWP with the view of renewing it and applying for PR asap. However, after not being able to settle at all since I got here, I am now considering going home... My OH has a job that pays poorly, and as we are here on a TWP, he is only allowed to work for the company stated on his visa. I however have an open TWP but after appying for tons of jobs that I would have EASILY got in UK, I have had to accept a position $1 over minimum pay!!!! I am gutted to say the least. This may be because i am on a TWP, or because I am new to Canada... I just dont know but, I find it very very disheartening indeed...
We have our equity from the sale of our UK house in a bank account that JUST pays the rent we have here in Canada. We have worked out it costs us roughly $3000 per month to pay all the bills and rent and food, fuel etc... We don't live a lavish lifestyle here at all and make cut backs wherever we can.
Our kids are sooo in love with being here, they have a totally different life than they had inUK, out with friends all the time, loving life.... We came here for that side of things and its definately here for them no doubt...
Our kids know that if we can't make it work financially, we have no choice but to go back to UK... But its killing me inside for them, because I just can't get on.
In UK my OH had a career that was extreemly safe, great pension, and gave him time at home with us all. I had my own relatively successful business working from home and took off the time I wanted when the kids were off school etc.... In total our combined income was around £60K...
However, we didn't make the most of the life and time we had in the UK and we didn't realise how important our friends and family were until they weren't there anymore.
My OH wants to stay here for at least a year to experience all the seasons. Me, well I would go back now if I could, I find myself sinking deeper into depression and can't see a way out but to return to UK. My OH suggests I go back alone and earn enough money to send back for my family, but I'm not a great believer in living apart... And I would desperately miss them all...
Due to his job here, we don't meet many people that we can befriend, and I have only just had a job offer in so haven't met friends yet... Sometimes we are soooo bored that we end up arguing over stupid things... We go out but usually for walks and stuff.
Anyway, back in the UK, I have been offered a job paying quite well, my OH's job is kept open for a year, a friend has said he has a house we can rent if we want it... This is now drawing me back... But am I making a mistake?
I have thought visiting UK will change my mind but, What if i won't come back here?
I never thought it would be as hard as this EVER... And we are friendly people that talk to anyone, ut still find it hard to adjust here...
Please, don't tell me to "realise why I wanted to leave the UK in the first place", I have thought that over and over again...
And why, if a place seems so perfect, am I so unhappy?
Thankyou for all your forthcoming comments...
xxxx
I'm quite new to BE but I feel that this is the only place to get the answers I need to help me with maybe the biggest dilemma I face in my life. Here goes:
We (me, OH and 2 kids aged 12 & 13) moved to SW Ontario on June 1st this year on a TWP with the view of renewing it and applying for PR asap. However, after not being able to settle at all since I got here, I am now considering going home... My OH has a job that pays poorly, and as we are here on a TWP, he is only allowed to work for the company stated on his visa. I however have an open TWP but after appying for tons of jobs that I would have EASILY got in UK, I have had to accept a position $1 over minimum pay!!!! I am gutted to say the least. This may be because i am on a TWP, or because I am new to Canada... I just dont know but, I find it very very disheartening indeed...
We have our equity from the sale of our UK house in a bank account that JUST pays the rent we have here in Canada. We have worked out it costs us roughly $3000 per month to pay all the bills and rent and food, fuel etc... We don't live a lavish lifestyle here at all and make cut backs wherever we can.
Our kids are sooo in love with being here, they have a totally different life than they had inUK, out with friends all the time, loving life.... We came here for that side of things and its definately here for them no doubt...
Our kids know that if we can't make it work financially, we have no choice but to go back to UK... But its killing me inside for them, because I just can't get on.
In UK my OH had a career that was extreemly safe, great pension, and gave him time at home with us all. I had my own relatively successful business working from home and took off the time I wanted when the kids were off school etc.... In total our combined income was around £60K...
However, we didn't make the most of the life and time we had in the UK and we didn't realise how important our friends and family were until they weren't there anymore.
My OH wants to stay here for at least a year to experience all the seasons. Me, well I would go back now if I could, I find myself sinking deeper into depression and can't see a way out but to return to UK. My OH suggests I go back alone and earn enough money to send back for my family, but I'm not a great believer in living apart... And I would desperately miss them all...
Due to his job here, we don't meet many people that we can befriend, and I have only just had a job offer in so haven't met friends yet... Sometimes we are soooo bored that we end up arguing over stupid things... We go out but usually for walks and stuff.
Anyway, back in the UK, I have been offered a job paying quite well, my OH's job is kept open for a year, a friend has said he has a house we can rent if we want it... This is now drawing me back... But am I making a mistake?
I have thought visiting UK will change my mind but, What if i won't come back here?
I never thought it would be as hard as this EVER... And we are friendly people that talk to anyone, ut still find it hard to adjust here...
Please, don't tell me to "realise why I wanted to leave the UK in the first place", I have thought that over and over again...
And why, if a place seems so perfect, am I so unhappy?
Thankyou for all your forthcoming comments...
xxxx
I have to agree with Judy. It's early days, and give yourself a well deserved
"Pat on the back" if you were saying this after 15 to 18 months - fair enough, but a few months really is nothing considering what you've accomplished.
So keep your chin up, and I do wish you well. It must give you great pleasure in itself seeing that your children are very happy? Take a leaf out of their book
All the best
Y
Nov 22nd 2008, 5:21 pm
#73
Banned
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: the GTA
Posts: 3,824
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
My 11 year old daughter is exposed to more violence, horror and sex on the TV here in Canada because there doesn't seem to be any rules on "watershed", therefore movies and commercials for up-coming horror movies are played throughout the day. It really gripes me when we have to be on our guard and tell her to look away!! by Ruby Murray
Then turn off the damn TV, block channels or go to channels with "family" fare. Last evening I watched the UK show Ashes to Ashes which I enjoy. The language and violence on this show far exceeds that of most North American produced content on non-cable TV. We live in a much more liberal society today as far as TV is concerned and parents need to exercise much more control of what children view, nor just tell them to 'look away'.
Then turn off the damn TV, block channels or go to channels with "family" fare. Last evening I watched the UK show Ashes to Ashes which I enjoy. The language and violence on this show far exceeds that of most North American produced content on non-cable TV. We live in a much more liberal society today as far as TV is concerned and parents need to exercise much more control of what children view, nor just tell them to 'look away'.
Nov 22nd 2008, 5:55 pm
#74
Banned
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: the GTA
Posts: 3,824
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
This message has been deleted by Ruby Murray. Reason: Can't be arsed arguing my case - I know what I know and that's the end of it
Charming language from a mother who is concerned what her child watches on TV.
Charming language from a mother who is concerned what her child watches on TV.
Nov 22nd 2008, 5:58 pm
#75
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: NI (back from Toronto)
Posts: 3,409
Re: Why am I so unhappy here? Should i go back?
