When are doubts more than that?!
Sep 30th 2013, 6:32 pm
#16
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Millie,
Thank you. We have discussed it, dozens of times but it's an impossible decision to make. Dammed if you do (maybe not) dammed if you don't. Lots of people are saying ooh I'm so jealous, and I just stand there thinking well if it's so great, why don't you all do it!!!
Thank you. We have discussed it, dozens of times but it's an impossible decision to make. Dammed if you do (maybe not) dammed if you don't. Lots of people are saying ooh I'm so jealous, and I just stand there thinking well if it's so great, why don't you all do it!!!
Sep 30th 2013, 6:40 pm
#17
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: ontario
Posts: 70
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
I was never champing at the bit to come to Canada, we were asked to head out here 2 yrs ago for husband's work. After lots of mulling over, I realized that I would always regret NOT going if we didn't try it...and that outweighed by far my doubts and concerns. I still stand by that. And in case its not working, have an escape route planned...
Sep 30th 2013, 6:48 pm
#18
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
I was never champing at the bit to come to Canada, we were asked to head out here 2 yrs ago for husband's work. After lots of mulling over, I realized that I would always regret NOT going if we didn't try it...and that outweighed by far my doubts and concerns. I still stand by that. And in case its not working, have an escape route planned...
Sep 30th 2013, 6:54 pm
#19
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Joined: Jun 2011
Location: ontario
Posts: 70
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Everyone adapts differently in the family situation. My daughter fitted in from day one, she was 4 when we arrived. My son had a tougher time, he was 8, he's now changed school and is finally much happier, thank goodness! But he still talks about the UK as 'home' which is interesting (me too, for that matter!) Going into it with your eyes open is important. Good to discuss fears and concerns, but there are nice things to look forward to with any new adventure as well
Sep 30th 2013, 6:59 pm
#20
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
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Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Everyone adapts differently in the family situation. My daughter fitted in from day one, she was 4 when we arrived. My son had a tougher time, he was 8, he's now changed school and is finally much happier, thank goodness! But he still talks about the UK as 'home' which is interesting (me too, for that matter!) Going into it with your eyes open is important. Good to discuss fears and concerns, but there are nice things to look forward to with any new adventure as well
Sep 30th 2013, 7:15 pm
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: ontario
Posts: 70
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Well we had the opposite experience with our son, if that helps?! He was super-excited at the thought of coming out to Canada before we left, no worries about leaving friends behind as they were going to email/Skype etc. It hasn't been 2 whole years of tears, don't get me wrong, I couldn't have put up with it for that long! But he's been more homesick than his little sister. Depends on their personality
Sep 30th 2013, 7:19 pm
#22
Banned
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 19,879
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Ask yourself this. If tomorrow you got a letter saying that your husbands job offer was withdrawn or the work permit application was denied, would you be upset or relieved? Whichever it is, that is your answer.
Whilst apprehension and having last minute doubts are totally normal, if you are not committed to coming to Canada because it is something you really want to do then the possibility exists that you will not be happy or become settled here.
You really need to come with a positive and open minded attitude and if you don't feel that way then perhaps you would be better staying where you are.
Whilst apprehension and having last minute doubts are totally normal, if you are not committed to coming to Canada because it is something you really want to do then the possibility exists that you will not be happy or become settled here.
You really need to come with a positive and open minded attitude and if you don't feel that way then perhaps you would be better staying where you are.
Last edited by Siouxie; Sep 30th 2013 at 7:44 pm.
Sep 30th 2013, 7:37 pm
#23
Dichotomus tinker
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,678
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Millie,
Thank you. We have discussed it, dozens of times but it's an impossible decision to make. Dammed if you do (maybe not) dammed if you don't. Lots of people are saying ooh I'm so jealous, and I just stand there thinking well if it's so great, why don't you all do it!!!
Thank you. We have discussed it, dozens of times but it's an impossible decision to make. Dammed if you do (maybe not) dammed if you don't. Lots of people are saying ooh I'm so jealous, and I just stand there thinking well if it's so great, why don't you all do it!!!
You made the plunge to apply to come over here (and the reason for doing it was what?) - now everything is a go, you have doubts & your fence sitting doubts IMO are all weakness, small time issues.
Either come or stay where you are. If you stay put - you'll likely be questioning yourself with a 'wonder if we should have gone & how our lives might have been'
A leap of faith to emigrate is not for everyone & those that do it there is a small percentage that end up going back home. A larger percentage get on with it & make it their new home.
Should you come, should you stay?
ARGHHH
Last edited by not2old; Sep 30th 2013 at 7:39 pm.
Sep 30th 2013, 7:40 pm
#24
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
forgive for being blunt ...I read your OP & now this last post. I'm saying to myself - 'what the bloody hell are you doing emigrating'?
You made the plunge to apply to come over here (and the reason for doing it was what?) - now everything is a go, you have doubts & your fence sitting doubts IMO are all weakness, small time issues.
Either come or stay where you are. If you stay put - you'll likely be questioning yourself with a 'wonder if we should have gone & how hour lives might have been'
A leap of faith to emigrate is not for everyone & those that do it there is a small percentage that end up going back home. A larger percentage get on with it & make it their new home.
ARGHHH
You made the plunge to apply to come over here (and the reason for doing it was what?) - now everything is a go, you have doubts & your fence sitting doubts IMO are all weakness, small time issues.
Either come or stay where you are. If you stay put - you'll likely be questioning yourself with a 'wonder if we should have gone & how hour lives might have been'
A leap of faith to emigrate is not for everyone & those that do it there is a small percentage that end up going back home. A larger percentage get on with it & make it their new home.
ARGHHH
I am not familiar with the Canadian healthcare system but I do wonder how much better a GP's pay and conditions are going to be, in order to make up for what will be lost in other areas.
Sep 30th 2013, 8:04 pm
#25
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
He's not pushy pushy, more that he is set upon this course, and doesn't harbour the same sort of doubts, maybe because he has less to do with friends than I do. Given that we're both public sector workers, our pocket has been hit in several different directions in the last couple of years, and yes there is a huge salary difference. Having said that, we're ok and don't really need to move for that reason.
Sep 30th 2013, 8:08 pm
#26
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
forgive for being blunt ...I read your OP & now this last post. I'm saying to myself - 'what the bloody hell are you doing emigrating'?
You made the plunge to apply to come over here (and the reason for doing it was what?) - now everything is a go, you have doubts & your fence sitting doubts IMO are all weakness, small time issues.
Either come or stay where you are. If you stay put - you'll likely be questioning yourself with a 'wonder if we should have gone & how our lives might have been'
A leap of faith to emigrate is not for everyone & those that do it there is a small percentage that end up going back home. A larger percentage get on with it & make it their new home.
Should you come, should you stay?
ARGHHH
You made the plunge to apply to come over here (and the reason for doing it was what?) - now everything is a go, you have doubts & your fence sitting doubts IMO are all weakness, small time issues.
Either come or stay where you are. If you stay put - you'll likely be questioning yourself with a 'wonder if we should have gone & how our lives might have been'
A leap of faith to emigrate is not for everyone & those that do it there is a small percentage that end up going back home. A larger percentage get on with it & make it their new home.
Should you come, should you stay?
ARGHHH
I was sort of looking for a more of course it's natural to be worried about those things response. It'll be fine!! I will take it as a more come on girl, harden sort of response which is fine too!
. If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!
Sep 30th 2013, 8:18 pm
#27
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
I was sort of looking for a more of course it's natural to be worried about those things response. It'll be fine!! I will take it as a more come on girl, harden sort of response which is fine too! . If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!
. If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!
Sep 30th 2013, 8:19 pm
#28
Dichotomus tinker
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,678
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
I was sort of looking for a more of course it's natural to be worried about those things response. It'll be fine!! I will take it as a more come on girl, harden sort of response which is fine too! . If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!
. If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!Do you believe that you are immigrant material & have what it takes to leave the emotions behind for a better life in Canada, or is living in the UK your comfort zone?
Are you decisive, can you take the bull by the horns, are you a go-getter, are you looking for a better or different life than you presently have & want better things for your children that are not possible in the UK?
Why (other than financial) do you want to leave the UK?
Are you able to tell your spouse that you do not want to emigrate & will they go along with your decision or say 'no we are going' - who has the final decision in this matter?
If you stay in the UK imagine your life 20 years from now
Sep 30th 2013, 8:25 pm
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Okanagan region
Posts: 625
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
Daft title, but would really like some thoughts.
Throughout this immigration process, I have swung between real excitement at the idea of living somewhere new/adventure and the fact that I really love my life here. Even though it was me and a conversation about the weather that started it off, my husband long took over on his desire to escape the NHS and his decreasing salary and heavily increasing workload, and has pushed the process on with the occasional episode from me halting the process.
I was genuinely excited last week when he had the work permit approval, but since then and especially the thread yesterday about being lonely has really worried me. We are a very social family, and our week and weekend mostly involve family and friends. It's unusual for us to be alone. I really wish I could just transport them with us. If we stay in the UK, I can see our future mapped out and it's a good one, Canada is a complete uncertainty. I'm worried that it will be a couple of years loneliness for me and why would you inflict that on yourself? I'm a staff nurse and love where I work and my colleagues, but it looks unlikely that will be an option for me over there. I work days and my boss is great and really flexible. It's been so long that I genuinely can't remember why I personally wanted to leave. Is this fear and worry normal or is it something that I need to listen to?
Maybe we've chosen the wrong place to go to, too small compared to where we live now, certainly no rugby team for my 8yr old-we do love our rugby in Wales!! I can't figure it all out, and think I might end us up in Canada by default, in that I feel reluctant to say no to an opportunity, albeit a very expensive self manufactured opportunity. If someone could figure out my psyche where I am failing that would be great or if you've experienced the same thing and any insight.
Throughout this immigration process, I have swung between real excitement at the idea of living somewhere new/adventure and the fact that I really love my life here. Even though it was me and a conversation about the weather that started it off, my husband long took over on his desire to escape the NHS and his decreasing salary and heavily increasing workload, and has pushed the process on with the occasional episode from me halting the process.
I was genuinely excited last week when he had the work permit approval, but since then and especially the thread yesterday about being lonely has really worried me. We are a very social family, and our week and weekend mostly involve family and friends. It's unusual for us to be alone. I really wish I could just transport them with us. If we stay in the UK, I can see our future mapped out and it's a good one, Canada is a complete uncertainty. I'm worried that it will be a couple of years loneliness for me and why would you inflict that on yourself? I'm a staff nurse and love where I work and my colleagues, but it looks unlikely that will be an option for me over there. I work days and my boss is great and really flexible. It's been so long that I genuinely can't remember why I personally wanted to leave. Is this fear and worry normal or is it something that I need to listen to?
Maybe we've chosen the wrong place to go to, too small compared to where we live now, certainly no rugby team for my 8yr old-we do love our rugby in Wales!! I can't figure it all out, and think I might end us up in Canada by default, in that I feel reluctant to say no to an opportunity, albeit a very expensive self manufactured opportunity. If someone could figure out my psyche where I am failing that would be great or if you've experienced the same thing and any insight.
Sep 30th 2013, 8:29 pm
#30
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2012
Location: Didsbury, AB, Canada
Posts: 87
Re: When are doubts more than that?!
I was sort of looking for a more of course it's natural to be worried about those things response. It'll be fine!! I will take it as a more come on girl, harden sort of response which is fine too! . If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!
. If you're frustrated, think how my poor, poor husband feels. Thing is I know I can make friends, I have lots here, and I know the right stuff to do, I'm just a bit scared!!For me, I was always travelling on holiday (although never to Canada before the visa application was submitted!) and was always planning my next trip on the plane home (working for an airline had it's perks). Both my ex and I felt we had done all we could in the UK and wanted a new adventure. My first panic about moving didn't happen until I checked in for my one way flight to Calgary and I left my family at security. My next major melt down was after 6 months here when my parents and sister left saying "not sure when we'll be back". For the 2 years it took waiting to get my PR visa I was anxious to get out here and get started on my new life. For the month between receiving my passport back with shiny visa in to flying out I was on a major high. I didn't cry at any of the leaving get togethers, or when my best childhood friends gave my a photo album that documented our time together.
I am sure I am in the minority feeling this way with no doubts before the move, but me wanting to do this has got me through 7 very challenging years here. I can't imagine moving over just to keep my other half happy if I was in so much doubt myself.
You need a very serious talk with your husband and have a strategy. How long do you give it in Canada before you reassess? The deal I made before coming over with my ex was we would get citizenship so then we always had the choice of leaving and coming back at will.
Emigrating is not easy when it's what you REALLY want, I would never emigrate to support someone else's dream as I cannot imagine the extra stress that would cause and the strain it could put on your relationship.