I've been wondering....

If i have kids in Canada, i feel that they will miss out on so much in terms of grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles; scottish culture; british culture etc

However if i move back home to Scotland to have my kids, i feel that they will miss out on growing up in a great country, where most people respect each other, and generallyhigh standard of living

From a childs point of view, and from that childs point of view when they become adults - what would be best for them? growing up with family in a not-so-great country, or growing up in a great country, with their parents being the only family members around?

You left out one option: "any country with no family".

People with closely knit families probably find it hardest to emigrate successfully. Many people, myself included, find the Atlantic Ocean to be a wonderful thing.

Location, location, location!

Family can always visit - or you can visit them and take in some of the culture you refer to. I s'pose it's different if you have a large family, but both my parents were only children, so although I have siblings and my kids have cousins, there are a small and relatively manageable number of them!

there's good and bad about both...it's a different world all together now anyway....there is nothing like family but there isn't anything like having your children all to yourself and not having to parent them how your family thinks that you should...that has got to be the worst thing about families....i live away and i like it like that

i believe that family earn the affection of the children by caring about them near or far...my mum comes and goes so she can be with my kids
none of the others have really bothered...consequently they love my mum...she also cared for them when they were little as we moved back to the UK for a bit

What we did was to stay in Toronto for the money while sending the children home for all the school holidays. That way we were able to have lots of consumer durables and yet the children were still exposed to culture.

Tough question.

We are not a close knit family and even in the UK lived about 150 miles away from our families. So two things spring to mind, when we were in the UK the expectation was it would always be us travelling to see them and they would complain that we didn't visit often enough when they never really visited us at all. This was when our children were younger.

Over the last two years we have probably seen more of them than before because when they visit it is for two weeks and the same for when we visit the UK. I guess they are missing christmas time but you know what, they were always the most stressful family get togethers!

My daughters are grown up now so it doesnt really apply to them. I have more problem from the fact that they still have their UK boyfriends!!!

My family have never lived in eachothers pockets, so the physical contact has always been few and far between but the telephone wires buzz often So not being in the same country hasn't been that hard really.

Yes there are times I have wanted a hug from my Mum - and to hug her when she was realy ill and have a laugh with my sister, but I chose to live so far away and I just have to deal with it.

Neither hubby or I are very happy at the mo' not sure why - we were the same last year this time too, hubbies work has just moved premises and they aren't finished with fitting out the new place so it's a bit of a nightmare for him and my feet hurt, so that doesn't help anything. Would we move back to wet miserable England to be with wet miserable family - No ta! Not with my lot anyhow

Care to expand on this item?

Great insight.

I totally agree with all of you...i guess thats my problem too. I want to stay here and i want to stay back home - cant have everything though.

I wonder what a kid would say? mmmm

Souv is correct there regarding closely knit families. I think that they would find it harder especially if their family is also a support network for childcare.

I have a pretty small family and apart from both our mum's, we often never seen any other relative from month to month/year to year so the move was easier for us. My kids were also very very rarely looked after by anyone other than ourselves too.

I do however have some good friends some of which go back to when I was at school in the 70s/80s so I do miss meeting up with them. However there is the internet and telephone, plus the fact that I know I will see them again when they come over for a visit.

For us we picked a 'better country with no family' over a 'family we never saw, in a country we feel is going in the wrong direction'.

PS we all love it here

Are you getting broody

Oh, sure!

My husband and I moved to Ontario 2 years ago from Scotland.
Things were great, we bought a house, and everything was rosy - with odd little bouts of homesickness.

But now.......i am so homesick. I miss my family. I have a huge family, and i grew up with all of my grandparents, cousins, aunts, unlces around me.

Now its coming to my husband and i having kids, and i am worried that by staying here, where there is a) no family to help and support us and b) no family to be there for my kids, and my kids be there for them. I cant imagine growing up without that bond, that i had with all of my family.

I didnt leave SCotland because i didnt like it - i moved here because as i child i used to dream of living here in a swanky house, with a pool etc etc...just material things. Now i have those things i feel that none of it matters, because my family arent here with me.

I am now at the "should i stay or should i go stage" and i change my mind daily.

Finding this forum, has helped me....although sometimes when i think ive made my mind up, i read something else which makes me change my mind again.

Definately

I actually miscarried this year - and i think thats where all of these emotions are coming from. I think it was a sign that i shouldnt be here - although my husband thinks im off my head!!

I think what you miss is your family (close and extended) in Scotland...not Scottish culture. Am I correct?

Actually both...but the culture is nowhere near as big an issue as the family thing.