Tangram

+1 Nothing like killing terrorists and some friendly fire killings.

sta123

My back up plan was to basically come back to where I left off.

In late 2010 I met a girl online living just north of North York. I went over in late dec 2010 to visit her and her family. All going well and we got on well from how it was on Skype. I came back in early Jan 2011 after my visit.

Sold my small e-commerce business in Feb 2011 to move over to Ontario to get work in IT and then to marry the girl. All good with the parents and her family etc.

Got there in March stayed in a hotel and had a friend there (not connected to the girl I was to marry).

That is when the problems started. Girls mom had spoke to my mum all going well and families from both sides were happy with me moving there etc. The girls mom said I could only marry her daughter once I have worked in Canada for a year and settled.
I met up with a few of the big IT recruitment companies in Toronto. Everything looked good as my education (B/Eng in Chemical Engineering, Masters in Computer Science) was welcomed by the recruitment guys. However all was resting on my work permit, twp etc. The easiest way being for me to marry the girl and then things would be much easier.
The girl wanted to do this, however her mom and elder sisters were not up for that. The father was really cool with me, I got on really well with him.

Left Canada in Early April 2011 as I was just there on a 'holiday' as my return ticket was booked then. Day I was leaving, girls mom suggested I come back for the whole 2011 summer and carry on searching for a job.

From coming back in April 2011, we spoke on Skype and when I asked her to come to Manchester, she said her mom and elder sisters wont let her etcetc.

It all ended there and that was that. Very sad and it was very much the family of the girl not allowed her to make her own decisions.

Now I am back in Manchester from where I left, now working self employed.

So my back up plan was carry on where I left off and that is what has happened. I am very open minded and always open to new things and if the chance to move to the USA or Canada comes up again, I will look at it.

Cost me a lot of money, I gave it my all, the girl said she would support me in every way etc. However, it didn't work out!

Life for me is about living the adventure and you keep going as you never know what is coming your way in life

MarylandNed

Yep - that's what I did.

First time (Canada) was easy - no kids and wasn't expecting to stay long term. Ended up staying long term, got PR, had kids, bought a house and got citizenship.

Second time (US) was a bit scarier. I arrived with a wife and 3 kids and just the hope that I could stay long term. Eventually got PR, bought a house, and got citizenship. However, it took longer, cost more and was more stressful (partly because of the extra worry of the bigger family).

So it depends on your situation. Some people might be comfortable taking a leap of faith without kids. Those same people might not if they have kids.

CanadaJimmy

My Back up plan would probably have just been to move back to England and make a real go of things with the skill and mindset I'd acquired during my time in Canada. Either that or move somewhere to the United States, I have an IT contact down in New Jersey who said if I moved there he'd be determined to help me with finding work and immigration.

Snap Shot

Glad you can be philosophical about this and still smile ! Perhaps I shouldn't say this but if you did mary her, how much would her mother have dictated to both for all of your married life ? If you had children...... M-I-L from hell would also be grandparent from hell, so that's from hell to the power of 2.

sta123

You been talking to my friends? lol

That is exactly what my close friends and family said! One thing the mom said to my mum was that if I marry her daughter and then live in Toronto, go on to have children etc. Then she asked my mum to guarantee that I do not leave Toronto and move back to Manchester with her daughter and grand children.

mandymoochops

Wow she sounds like a friggin nightmare, it probably is for the best although may not seem like it right now. If she loves you she'll hop on a plane over to the UK and marry you anyway - irrespective of what the mother says x

feelbritish

When we decided to emigrate we kept our house (we did each have a house when we got married, we were not wealthy landowners lol) and rented it out with an agent. Best decision we ever made. That was our back up plan! We also did not buy a fancy car or furniture, just another house to live in. We even made sure we had enough money to live on for a year.

sta123

Yep, many of my friends said exactly the same! Even a friend of mine in North York who was so looking forward to me moving to Canada said the same thing.

When the topic of her coming over to Manchester came up, she said she had to ask her mom and elder sisters and the answer they gave was no!

A real shame, as it was all good between myself and her. Just the mom and sisters sadly not willing to let her have her own life.

No wonder she has been single and from what I believe, is still single now.

I have moved on. I am happy that I gave it my all (sold my car, lots of personal possessions, my business etc) to move there. As in if I had not given it my all, I would always be wondering 'I should have done that etc'. I know from my side I did more than what most guys would.

Good thing is that I enjoyed Ontario with my friend and living there for the short time. I could easily see myself living there and fitting in. I often think about Kabob Express (near vaughan mills shopping) and Bamiyan Kabob (East York) and Tim Hortons.

So, always good to have a backup plan. At the same time, do give it all your effort and be prepared for the unexpected

Anyone else with a move to Canada plan that did not work out? I think it is good to hear the different experiences people have gone through.