sarah.h

Hi we have been here for four months and we are missing home, especially my 16 years old, so we are stuck in the middle, just want to know how long it takes to settle down or time to choose between two countries??

Sorry if this question been asked before but time has come to make a decision so if anyone can help, thanks

el_richo

It can take 1 day to never when it comes to settling down. You make the decision when you're comfortable making it. Whether that's now or in ten years, it's all individual.

Make your decision, move on, and don't look back.

iaink

Just dont make any decisions now. 4 months is prime time for homesickness/ culture shock to start to affect you. The initial adrenaline rush/ honeymoon period is over, and the differences start to grate, plus it takes a while for new friendships to form.

Give it at least a year for things to start to fall into place before making any plans. Some people hate it from day one and would argue that they should have gone back sooner, but for many others its just a passing phase and ends up a distant unpleasant memory a year or so later.

magnumpi

Some settle straight away some take years.

If you miss the family in uk get on msm with web cam or skype and maybe book a flight home now before it gets exspensive (summer) and visit out of season.

My mrs was like you for first year. Now she rather go bahamas instead of UK. ;-)

Optimistic Pessimist

Totally agree, there is no fixed timescale. Some may say you need to give it at least a year to settle.

I have only been here 3 months, but I am certain this is not the place for me and am planning my return to theh UK within the next couple of months.

I guess it comes down to how much time you are prepared to give it and that only you and your family can decide.

Good luck whatever you decide.

iaink

Lots of people are certain at that 3-6 month stage that they hate it. For some its a permanent thing, but look into the symptoms and timescales of culture shock and home sickness and understand how it affects you before making any major decisions. Thats why I am one of the many here that say "give it at least a year".

Lychee

It's like settling into a new house or a new community back in England. Things take time to finally feel like "home". I always say 2 years is when a new place no longer feels foreign and starts to feel like you're in a stable routine. You're still going to be learning how things are done in Canada for a while, how society interacts, what happens throughout the course of the year, how people behave, the social norms, etc. Until the new becomes the mundane... give it two years. But don't wait for it to happen - you have to actively want to it to happen.

Where was that article that... JudyinCalgary (I believe) wrote about homesickness, culture shock, etc.?

iaink

http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Culture_Shock-Canada

JonboyE

Plus, a 16 year old will be miserable whatever. It is what they do.

Oink

Yes, but its good to be miserable with your mates and apparently all the children here are blissfully happy, polite and charmingly naive, so they'd probably make him even more miserable.

JonboyE

It should be compulsory reading for all new posters. Maybe a short test when they register?

I like this:

There is a strong likelihood that you'll consider the natives stupid, uncultured, humourless, etc.

That one seems to take a long time to grow out of for some of our posters.

iaink

Judy was a master of understatement

DigitalGhost

Never a truer word was spoken (or printed in this case).

When I speak with companies back at home now, I often feel quite quaint and overly relaxed and polite because I've become so used to dealing with North Americans on a daily basis. You forget how cold a lot of people can be in Britain, particularly call centre staff.

MarylandNed

I'm moved around a bit and always gave myself at least 1 year in a new place as by then I would have experienced all seasons and know whether I could continue. 2 years is about the time I start to feel really settled somewhere. Although there's no guarantee that you will ever settle. Of course, these are just personal numbers and yours may be different.

gillyd65

exactly same situation as you, moved over in August with 16 and 13 year old, I will pm you.