Tried and failed!
 

So,

To cut a very long story short.. we moved to Calgary in March this year and embarked upon this life we had been planning for years.

Hubby got a job relatively early, which is good but it doesnt pay good and we are having to subsidise with our little pot of savings...

I have hit a brick wall regarding my work as a nurse.. Just No jobs, and no point in getting registered to work in Alberta as they dont have enough jobs for their own newly qualified nurses..:thumbdown:

Anyhow our children are little and I am enjoying spending time with them:thumbup: but boy am I lonely! I have tried mom and toddler groups and moms at the school, but I feel that Canadian moms keep to themselves.. ' a generalisation I know but true in my case'.

I have always prided myself on being a good communicator and able to make friens easily.. not here!

I know its still early days... but hubby feels the same!

I am not down about Canada as it is a wonderful country and a better place for children..I think..

We cannot survive here being so unhappy.. financially its crippling us!

All in all, we miss family so much and have decided to return to the UK:unsure: Im sure lots of you will say..'its early days stick at it' and ' didnt you know this before you moved'.

So......... if anyone is looking for a nice house to rent in Copperfield, Calgary from mid August let me know... oh and a Dodge caravan with low kms to buy...

send me a pm if anyone is interested.

No negative replies please as im pretty fed up already..


Regards Top Cat:)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I think it's wise to know when to say enough is enough. The longer you leave it the harder it is to go back. You've tried and can see it won't work for you so I don't think you failed. It's just the wrong place and wrong time for you.

Good luck with your new plans

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Just wanted to add my best wishes these decsions are never easy and you have got to do whatever you all feel is right for you as a family only you know your circumstances and the limit of what you can endure . Just wondered if you had given any thought to maybe trying out a differant province , again I know its a long shot and more expense but another part of Canada may be a better fit for you
All the very best :)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Good Luck TC - it can be hard - it has taken me nearly 2 years to find people that I can call friends - at 10 months in I was ready to leave, BUt having stuck it out I now like it. I still miss home and wouldnt say that I am here for life, but I am enjoying what the country has to offer at the moment!

BUT if you know its not for you then its not for you :)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

all the best for the organization that goes into planning the return trip --
and for re-adjusting to life in the UK after the absence.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

It's sad when it doesn't work for whatever reason. It does sound as though your not leaving all thoughts of living in Canada completely if your renting your house out when you go. Maybe you feel you need to regroup and try another time?

Whatever you do decide to do I wish you the very best of luck, your incredibly brave for trying out a new country and just as brave admitting it might not be what you're looking for.:thumbsup:

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I think everyone has already said the best things.....
Good luck with whatever comes next for you and yours.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Hey atleast you tried and gave it ur best shot..... Good luck with watever you do next....Its not easy here, no matter what people say to you negative or positive, its your decision at the end of the day and you need to do whats right for you and your family.....

MR79

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Best of luck in what ever you do, I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision :)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Sorry it's not worked out, but I suspect you'll regret packing it in in the near future. Three/four months is really no time at all to decide if something is/isnt going to work out.
Can you not arrange some meet ups with local English mums? Wifey here in Edmonton has a really good mix of English and Canadian friends, but I know there's a decent expat population in Calgary... lots of people in a similar situation to you.

Hope everything works out for the best, but I think going home after a couple of months is a bit hasty....
:thumbsup:

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Sorry to hear you're fed up.

Whatever you do, please don't think you've failed. Even if you do go back to the UK in August, you tried something new and decided it wasn't for you.

In the meantime, I'm in Calgary so if you fancy a meet up drop me a PM - we could take the kids to one of the parks for a few hours.

Take care

MrsDV

Re: Tried and failed!
 

So sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you guys. As previously said 3 months is such a short space of time to feel settled, we have been here 2 years in October and I can honestly say that I'm only just starting to feel settled and the homesickness has pretty much gone.
Maybe it might be a good idea to consider another province they are all SO different.
I really hope that things sort themselves out for you and that the move back is everthing you hope it will be, Good luck :):)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I don't think you can say you've "tried and failed", you are in the middle of trying and it's too early to reach a conclusion. Having gone through the immigration process myself I can say that changing countries like this is not easy. I don't know about your financial situation (one of you does earn an income?) and don't take this the wrong way but I think you should definitely give it more than just three months now that you are out there (in accommodation, with a car, etc) Maybe you could decide now that you are going back in a year if things don't change and this would make you feel more relaxed and maybe things would start to slowly change to the better the more you adapt.
Good luck whatever you do!

Re: Tried and failed!
 

its not "tried and failed" its "tried and decided to return"...
its not a competition where you win if you stay and loose if you return.
some people just find that its better for them to go back to the uk, no failure there...

good luck :)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

We did the same 2 yrs ago,returned to the uk after 3 mths ,our oldest didnt like it and i was home sick,but since being back in the uk we have decided to go back.
At least you can say you gave it ago,you have to do what makes you happy.
Good luck

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Best wishes to you and your family! :wub:

I don't think that you have "failed", you tried it and it didn't fit, nothing wrong with that! At least you won't be looking back in 10 years time thinking "what if?".

Hope you feel happier and settle back in the UK quickly....

xxx

Re: Tried and failed!
 

It's funny because in many ways I'm envious of you for having the courage to call it a day. I miss England terribly and would love to return. But having been here 5 years and now quite settled with the kids in school etc., it's hard to justify the upheaval of another big move back to the UK.

I can also empathize with you about how difficult it is to mix socially here. We just have different experiences to our Canadian counterparts, so tend to have a different outlook on life.

My wife is also a nurse, but in Ontario. She worked in A&E in London before moving here, and got a job no problem. I believe there are still plenty of jobs here. Have you looked into moving provinces before you go back to the UK? Ontario is nice and the winters not as bad as Alberta.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Nurse SIL told me last Sat. of nurse shortage in QC and ON . . . best of luck:thumbup:.

http://www.cna-nurses.ca/CNA/issues/hhr/default_e.aspx

Re: Tried and failed!
 

That doesn't talk of a shortage now but a projected shortage. Many of ontario's nurses are approaching retirement age. In my area RNs are being laid off and there are job freezes.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I hope moving back makes you happy. :) Good luck.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

^ This

I am another one in Calgary who would be happy to meet up for a cuppa sometime...

Sorry it hasn't worked out for you

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Why is hubby not earning enough, ? did you not research before you came his earning potential? or are you just spending/renting to high ? And giving in after barely 3 months. I know you didn't want any negative replies and i dont meen to be hurtfull, but it seems to me that you only have yourselves to blame for your plight. I dont consider that you have tried and that you have just given up.:o

Re: Tried and failed!
 

You have to do what you feel is right...and I would imagine most people on here will be supportive, a coupla months isnt very long, but If you've thought it through then thats that..

We are all grown ups (ok, most of us) and can make responsible adult decisions..

Good luck with everything...

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I would like to think that its allways darkest before Dawn:thumbup:
I would say never say never, If a job popped up doing something other than nursing then that would help with the finance and give you co-workers, being at home with no work in England might will be just as hard, just keep your options open and treat every day as a new day and try and stay posi:fingerscrossed:tive

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Hi Top Cat

I just want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings of despair in a new country. Myself, other half and two little uns arrived in 2006, and I spent the first six months crying. With so much new and nothing familiar to hang on to, it's very tough. Fortunately, things have gone well and we are settled now, but it does take time.

Good luck x

Re: Tried and failed!
 

While people are very adaptable to their surroundings. But if it's that painful at first, it's probably telling you something.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

obnoxious git

Re: Tried and failed!
 

We are in the process of applying now after a couple of years research and posts like this make me slightly nervous I must admit. Absolutely no question of failure regarding your decision but do you think you have given it your best shot? People have already replied saying they will meet up with you which is encoraging. It sounds like perhaps a bout of homesickness has set in, which is totally understandable. Are you going to be better off on your return to the UK? Do you work in the Public sector? I hope not as there will be hundreds of thousands of job cuts over the next couple of years. Just announced is a 20% VAT rate from next Jan and Working Tax credits are going to be slashed. As usual the working man with a family is going to be hammered the hardest. Just something to bear in mind. I would seriously think about trying to give it 12 months or so then see how things are. I have a feeling you may want to return soon if you do come back. Good luck with your decision though.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I would have to agree with some of the other posters that 3 months really seems hardly long enough to be in the position to make a decision about whether to go back or not yet.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Three months is really short. When I came the recruiter said thast around 3-4 months people often hit a wall of homesickness & that is the peak time for those saying they want to go home! Nearly 2 years later I'm still waiting!! I never experienced it but am aware it happens & am thinking you may have hit this mark too.

I'm also in Calgary (& a nurse) so feel free to PM me. I'd be happy to meet up. With the way the UK is right now it may be a case of out the frying pan into the fire!

Whatever you decide, I do wish you all the best.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Thank you for your negative reply.

Firstly research, We spent 3 months in Calgary in 2007 conducting research, a further 3 weeks in Ontario in June last year and a further week in Oct last year researching our move. I think that question is now answered.

I have 14 years Nursing experience, with a degree, and I also have 8 years Policing experience. We fully researched work and sent e mails from the UK but were always faced with the same response, 'we are interested and would consider your application hawever not untill you land in Calgary and in a position to commit'.

Since landing the only work hubby has only been able to secure (with 10 years Police experience) is a $15 per hour Security position.
He was always willing to start at the bottom however after 4 months and no fresh opportunities coming up we are faced with the decision, stay and fund our stay spending a big portion of our savings, which we would need for a deposit on a home in the hope something comes up but with the risk of 12 month down the line being in rented, in the same working position but with no deposit for a home.. OR return back to the UK where we can start back working at the same place we left with good pay.

We came Canada in the hope of being able to secure jobs with an average pay that would pay enough to provide a home with enough left over to allow us enjoy some of the outdoor living. It just so happens that although it works out for many people it just hasn't for us.

If it was just myself and my OH then we would probably last out a little longer however we take being a parent and being able to provide for our family very seriously and with banks both in Canada and the UK now refusing to give morgages to people with less the 10% deposit, if I use up all our money then it could put buying a house back by 5 years or more. Not a position that i want to find myself in.

I know you mentioned research but moving over to Canada this did not happen over night. From the point that we evaluated everything and decided 100% to move it was a further 6 months after that when we landed.... alot happens in 6 months, the Pound lost even more strength against the Dollar and the forcast that work opportunities were about to open didnt and still have'nt happened.

I would never put anyone off coming over here and giving it a go. If i knew 6 months ago what i know now I would still have come over. I have met some great people and enjoyed all the challenges but when you find yourself every month using up more and more of your savings, you eventually are forced into making a decision.

Stay with big risks or go back, (Hubby was earning 3 times what he earns here), buy a house and come out to Canada every other year on holiday.
We love Canada and would prefer to leave Canada still loving the country rather then stay a little longer and risk leaving feeling bitter and dissapointed.

I do understand that we should give it longer.. as 4 months is no trial really.. but if your lonely, under financial pressure and you can see no light at the end the Uk is more promising for us in the current climate.

No doubt when I get back to the Uk and start work, dealing with sex offences and nasty assaults etc.. Seeing the worst of the Uk in all its glory !!I will wish that things worked out here..

I need stability for my family..

Thank you to all who have PM'd me.. as usual you are all a fantastic support and taking the time to read and reply to me.

Top Cat:)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

If you are burning your way through your savings then you have to throw the towel in at some point.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I scanned through this thread backwards (as I often do.) And I saw posts from someone called "Top Cat" with a user title "Life is an adventure!"

I know there are many threads from people who are homesick, or where Canada isn't living up to expectations, having a bad day, trouble integrating or employment is underpaid and/or money is running out. I think I've also seen mention here that there have been healthcare cuts in Alberta and there are often freezes on hiring medical staff (?)

Just a thought, but think about other provinces first. There are healthcare shortages elsewhere and, not that I'm suggesting eastern Canada as a solution, there are other locations, in Canada, where you might find that "Life is an adventure!" :)

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Having moved from one Province to another and finding them so very, very different to each other - I would agree with this. If you made the massive move once, what harm is making another little one before making the massive move back to the UK?

Re: Tried and failed!
 

I would agree but since the OP has mentioned that they're burning through their savings rapidly, a transition to another province could be a large risk and would need careful financial planning.

One thing i am curious about. If the OP is burning through their savings due to their limited income, are there any cuts they can make in their daily lives to mitigate this, ensuring more financial stability for a longer term?

For example, does the OP have a new car, Cable TV, Mobile Phone etc? Some strategic shopping may also help. That said, they're probably already reducing their outgoings by looking at these things so i may be preaching to the converted.

Good luck, Topcat, with whatever you do.

If it's not right, it's not right. :)


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Re: Tried and failed!
 

One advantage of going back so quickly is that it will be very easy to slot back into UK society. Once you've been away for a couple of years it is a different country you come back to!

To me this "tried and failed" experience is the result of a fundamental flaw in the immigration system. People are lead to immigrate based on points and demand etc so they expect a future (I assume this is the case here) and people make themselves available to the foreign labour market at great personal expense and then surprisingly there are no jobs out there. Happens in Australia, highly educated people driving taxis for example because the points and demand system is out of sync. I don't have a solution, I reckon immigrants should be given a welcome grant for coming to a foreign country to work!

Re: Tried and failed!
 

My sentiments entirely.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

:rofl:


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Re: Tried and failed!
 

Firstly, I don't think going back is failure, if the OP is happier in the UK then that's how it is, no failure there. Secondly, I agree that three months isn't long enough to know.

Now to the digression. I suggest that an effective immigration policy is none at all. The government cannot effective choose immigrants, it will be always be out of step with the job market and cause misery for immigrants recruited on the basis of what workers were needed last year. Not allowing immigration based of skills will result in only determined and valuable immigrants arriving; living illegally in a foreign country requires commitment, an ability to stay out of trouble with the law and a skill that can be instantly traded for cash. The government should just close the skilled worker categories allowing only family, working holiday and refugee immigration classes. Skilled workers will still come if there's work for them, regardless of there being work permits, and they'll go away when there's no work; that's how the building industry in Toronto and the computer business in Silicon Valley operate so efficiently.

Re: Tried and failed!
 

Interesting point. If your policy was implemented, one wonders how many immigrants from relatively affluent countries would come, is it worth giving up the security of the NHS etc., to live as part of an underclass?