techy2487

I came to Vancouver in May this year with my then girlfriend. I lost my job in the UK and she has dual nationality but has never lived here, so fancied it.

We were head of heels for each other and sadly still are, but after living together for 6/7 months we've realised it's not working

She moved out 3 weeks ago. Either of us can afford the rent to our place in Kits by ourselves. Luckily for her, she has her dad here. Me though, i'm left to find somewhere and imminently.
I'm now left to make a decision. The break has ruined me
I feel low, although i have some friends here, it's not like the support I'd get from home. On top of all this, I have a loan and a credit card that is needing to be paid back home. Its not huge by any means, but it's there.
My bank account is paying it currently but I'm running out of funds.
I don't really want to leave, but i'm thinking now may be the right time

As good as Van is, is it worth all this ?

Oink

Sorry about your breakup but probably not, especially in winter.

BTJ

You can always come back to Vancouver when you have money.

Piff Poff

I am also sorry for the breakup, but to be fair Oink - Christmastime is probably the worst time for this to happen.

Don't make hasty decisions - what status do you have? Can you get a roomy? Can you fly home for Christmas and then come back with a fresh look? Can you find a more affordable rental? Are you locked into a rent agreement? If you can see a way past these hurdles, then maybe it won't be worth it, if you can see possibilities in the longer term, then maybe it will be worth it. Good Luck

MillieF

I am 100 per cent with Piff- Poff. Christmas is great for kids, and those in love or with mutually supportive families - for the rest of the world -forget it! Christmas ratchets up the tension, can make normally positive people look at their life through a less than rosy lens and makes even the jolliest of us somewhat mawkish. Can you take a big deep breath and survive the next week? It's soon going to be 2012, the bloody adverts will stop telling you that if you don't have a thousand friends and a new fitted kitchen you are less than normal, and the world will be more stable. What does the non hurting part of you feel? If you were still in your relationship and could manage your debt/responsibilities in the UK, would you still want to be there? Throw in the towel because you want to - not because your heart has had a kicking. Best of luck and best regards.

Geordie Lass

+1

+1

Great advice above.

Like MillieF says christmas time is actually a really hard time of year. Sorry you are facing all this at this time of year - makes it doubly hard...

If a friend were asking you what to do and they were in the same position as you are - whether to stay or go - what would you say to them?

Don't make any rash decisions - esp if by leaving you can't re-enter if that's what you decided you wanted to do at a later date.

Beaverquest

maybe it's just me, but i can't understand people opening up their personal life for input from strangers

life's a bitch a times, sometimes you have to man up, and get on with it

i can just imagine our forefathers " i've just come back from evacuation of Dunkirk and seen some terrible sights , only to arrive at a crater where my house once stood , neighbours tell me my whole family were asleep at the time - can anyone tell me where i can pick up my lard ration ?"

Howefamily

sometimes its easier to open up to strangers than to friends and family. You dont know the strangers personally and you get a wider pool of support and opinion.
This is poss why things like chat rooms work do well, anonymous people can say how they feel.

I would see if you can stay (if you WANT to), this would feel awful wherever you are in the world.

Geordie Lass

The guy is 1000s of miles away from what he considers "home"... give him a break!

Boy d

Break ups are hard anywhere, but miles from family and at Xmas makes it even worse. Not sure what age u are but it is life and you will get through it. It may be easier to go home, but looking fwd after the wounds heal? Bet not to make reactive decisions which we have a tendency to do when we feel lost.

I went through a nasty divorce here, lost my home, mutual friends and her family who essentially blanked me. I went to the UK for an extended trip for 7 weeks with not really knowing what was best and had some very vague idea about moving back, running away wAs likely more accurate. after 7 weeks I knew Vancouver was for me and have been happier since. Now re-married, new home, and some new friends etc.

What does not kill you will make you stronger.

techy2487

Thank you to everyone. This is a great post and has made me stop and think.