themurphyfamily

Attached is a letter from the Mother who did the press conference with my self and Dr Swann.If this is the level of help that she has not received then we are up the creek without a paddle.

themurphyfamily

Here is another letter from another parent who has had enough and who can blame him.



Ms.Simons

My name is Brad, i enjoyed your article in this mornings paper very much. And It is true and i speak from experience. I could have put my daughters name in every where you have Jane's. I don't believe my daughter has FASD, actually pretty sure. BUt she is diabetic and that is where my story changes. This has been since was 12. Topaz house in Edmonton for 5 days, rehab for 90days. Group home. Every time she would run away not take her insulin she would end up in the hospital. And after begging and pleading for help from Child Services, That is the only time they would take notice. After the 4th time i believe they They took custody of her and put her in a group home where later she ran away from for a month. I was happy hoping she would get the help she needed however Child services then Charged `ME 'with neglect. I did write a letter to MLA, the response was basically some letter saying Child services is doing the best they can. So no help
Going back to when she ran away from group home, after a month she ran out of insulin and ended up in hospital. Guess where Child services brought here after the hospital released her TO ME!!! I thought I neglected her does that make sense. Also she had no shoes, no meds, clothes on her back and still sick at 3 am. I took her back to hospital and she was airlifted to UofA and there for 4 days. I am the neglectful one. After that she was released to me, and 2 weeks later she ran away.

The problem is too that we are tiring to use Child services backwards. They are to protect the children, and there is no one to protect the parents from these children and get them the help they need.

I would Love Janes dads website also if possible

thank you

Brad




PS sorry not a very good emailer

Sue

I'm sorry but I've removed that attachment for the mother's privacy. There is way too much personal information there and you should really have a rethink about what you are posting on a public forum. Posting things with personal info including name and addresses isn't wise.

themurphyfamily

This Mother contacted me through Cheryl.

Her daughter suffered from serious depression for years and no one would help. I feel we will be where she is one day in the future.

http://www.inews880.com/Channels/Reg...spx?ID=1553933


This is the response i got from the Child Services UK where we adopted our daughter

I am so sorry Phill that it has taken me so long to get back to you - I initially spoke with our legal department whose response was that we are not liable - I know that you and I know that - however there is some form of moral obligation.

It seems to me from what you were telling me last week that this is a question of legal niceties - I notice that you have e-mailed the Prime Minister and others - do you have a solicitor? - perhaps that is now the way forward - otherwise I do not know if you have heard of Dan Hughes - he is an American Child Psychologist who has done a lot of work with attachment disordered children.

I am sorry that I cannot offer you any other support

themurphyfamily

I had asked her permission otherwise i would not have done so.

themurphyfamily

Just for your information Sue, she felt it might just prompt other parents who are in a similar situation to come forward and be heard.

Sue

I understand but honestly I don't feel comfortable with someones name and address being posted in such a public place. If you able why don't you blank out the name and address to protect her privacy, and then you can upload the attachment. I think that would be more prudent.

themurphyfamily

My husband normally posts on here and updates on our situation - but I feelt that due to a previous comment, I had to say something.

A comment has beeen made that when Child Services have a 6 month enhancement agreement that it doesn't put us as parents in a goood light - thee assumption that there is something that we are doing that means our daughter cannot live with us.

I am quite angry at this suggestion - we have done nothing but try and support our daughter through an extremely difficult time. She haas been physically, verbally and emotionally abusive, and yet we still try and fight her corner. We set boundaries in our house like every other parent which meant no drugs, no alcohol and to show some respect (remember this all started when she was 14) which we believe are reasonable requests. She didn't - she wanted to get drunk, take drugs and party all night.

We attended all the meetings when she was in programmes and tried to talk when she was home for the weekend. We kept going, overlooking the abuse to try and move forward. All she has done is use our love to get what she wants....this isn't her fault, but a reflection on her conditions.

I just wanted to make that clear - in no way have we done anything ourselves which would warrant our daughter not being able to live with us. The implication that she wouldn't want to be with us because of something we have done to her is abhorrent.....child services have had no option but to keep renewing the enhancement agreement so that they can continue to monitor her.

Mrs M

themurphyfamily

06 September 2011

Government of Alberta

Legislature Building
Edmonton, Alberta

To Whom It May Concern:
Re: Mental Health Care and Criminal Justice System
I write this letter to bring to your attention serious concerns regarding the treatment of the mentally ill in
this province, and in fact, all of Canada. My intention is to hold both the government of Alberta and
Canada accountable for their clear and undeniable lack of respect for these vulnerable members of
society, many without any means for an advocate. As a government, you are responsible for the well
being and best interests of those you have chosen to govern, which ought not to be taken lightly. I
therefore charge, that you have failed miserably in attending to your business in this most important area,
which has proved deleterious not only to patients and their families but to society in general. One does not
have to peer very far to find the inadequacies you as a government have created through cut backs in
beds, staffing, funding, and resources for appropriate programming.
My family is only one of the many who have been directly affected by this most important issue. My
son was denied proper mental health care by the U of A Hospital even after repeated warnings that he was
a danger to himself, his family, and the public in general due to a severe psychotic illness. As his family
we advocated for his mental well being and begged to have him kept until he was able to manage his
illness. On several occasions we requested to see the attending psychiatrist and spent many hours waiting,
all to no avail. We were told, however, that he was being released despite the severity of his illness and
staff’s concerns, because they needed the bed for someone else. The result ended in him trying to murder
his older brother. Words cannot possibly begin to express the horror and gravity of the situation placed
before this family (and many others) due to the lack of proper mental health care. Let me tell you this,
which I quote from my victim impact statement, soon to be public record!
“No mother should ever get the call from the police to become witness to fratricidal warfare, a call I
would not wish upon a worst enemy, yet I find myself in this place. No mother should ever have to choose
which son to attend to first; one in severe critical condition physically and one in severe critical condition
mentally, both in an emergency department in two different locations – I am only one, yet I find myself in
this place. No mother should ever have to stand by one son’s bed with his body covered in his coagulated
blood, his blood pressure critically low, trembling in trauma and shock knowing that her other son will
now suffer his own fate, the blood of his brother laid squarely on his hands, yet I find myself in this place.
No mother should have to see her son mentally deteriorate before her eyes and be denied access with her
hands tied, no matter how old he is or what he has done, yet I find myself in this place. No mother should
ever have 25 years of giving her heart, mind, life, and soul fighting for a son’s mental well
Page 2…
being to see it all gone in one fell swoop, yet I find myself in this place. No mother should ever have to
play a part she never asked for, wanted, nor deserved for that matter, yet I find myself in this place. No
mother should ever have to endure the pain of having her son sitting in jail awaiting his fate by strangers
who know him not, nor the circumstances which got him there, yet I find myself in this place. No mother
should ever have to nurse a son back to physical and mental health, her eyes having to lay witness to the
crimes on his body because of the atrocity played out by his brother’s very ill mind due to the lack of
mental health care, yet I find myself in this place. No mother should have to feel daunted by the enormity
of a situation which never needed to be, yet I find myself in this place.”
I ask this government, how many more families and communities are you willing to sacrifice for the
sake of the almighty dollar? How many more of the mentally ill are you willing to place in the prison
systems (without proper treatment) wasting millions in tax payer dollars? How many untreated mentally
ill released from prison into your communities are you willing to take personal responsibility for? How
many more beatings, attempted murders, deaths, suicides, and mental breakdowns is it going to take
before you notice? You have taken a public oath and it is about time you were held accountable. I for one
am now placing you on notice! You have failed miserably in your appointments causing serious harm,
while placing everyone at risk including families, police services, mental health workers, and
communities, but more importantly, you are denying the mentally ill due process. Shame on you!
This government needs to listen to families and health care staff in implementing proper programming
and resources. We desperately need a world class facility with more beds, staff, and programs for the
mentally ill. For those patients being released from AHE, we need adequate housing after treatment with
a milieu environment built on AHE premises with occupational therapists, social workers, and security for
the safety and well being of everyone concerned. The cost to taxpayers would be much less than
warehousing them in a prison system that clearly does not work. For this, or any other government, to do
less, is not only a travesty of justice, but also morally and ethically wrong! All mentally ill under the
Charter of Rights and the Human Rights Act are entitled to health care services, not the mockery we now
have in place. What I see is a government more interested in making health care and the justice system a
“business” rather than health and welfare of the people. You have a direct responsibility in the
management and care of hospitals and prisons, both of which are ill equipped to handle the mentally ill.
Therefore, I hold you and the U of A Hospital personally accountable for what transpired on that fateful
day. I hold you personally accountable and responsible for every family and mentally ill patient suffering
the same fate. All families deserve the same care and concern as yours.
Finally, allow me to remind you that the mentally ill are simply a mirror of you and what you are creating.
If you wish to discuss this further, please feel free to contact me.
Sincerely,

themurphyfamily

Yesterday I phoned the school our daughter is attending to make inquiries as to her progress. I spoke to the receptionist who initially told me that our daughter had such a poor attendance that she was going to lose her place.
She said the asst Principal would phone me that day with an update.
He didn't so I phoned in again today.
I was shocked to learn from him that child services had given the instruction to the school that if we as our daughter's parents asked for information,they were not allowed to speak to us and should refer us to child services.
I told him that we are the legal guardians but I was told I needed to speak to her case worker.
I then phoned the child services director and asked why this was put in place. This is the response.

Phil, I am in meetings. Picked up my messages. I have left message for Steve to clarify sharing of school info. You are still the guardian so your point received and valid.

Will try to call you on a break.


Later on I received a phone call from the Principal who ,by then had obviously got a call from child services. then shocked me yet again when he told me that she hadn't attended school since November.
OMG, I am stunned.No I am livid.
Child services had no right. Why has this couple, our daughter is living with, allowed her non attendance to continue.
I have tried hard to work with child services and the Government Ministries.
I went to them for help, I brought our situation to their attention believing they would be compassionate and understanding and give us the assistance we needed. And look where it's got us. Perhaps I've been very naive.
People have told me to watch out for their under hand tactics.
Is this one of those tactics. Why would they give the school such instructions.

Paula Simons sent me this today. This is believe will be our story at some point in the future.

http://www.edmontonjournal.com/mobil...tml?id=6193774


Again, another young person let down by the people who should have supported her.

Yesterday, I also had a response from Fay Orr who is the mental health advocate.

Hello Phillip.

The Mental Health Patient Advocate is legislated under Part Six of the Mental Health Act to assist patients subject to one or two admission or renewal certificates or a community treatment order under the Act, and those acting on their behalf, to understand and exercise their rights. The Advocate is also legislated to investigate complaints regarding a person’s detention, treatment care and rights under the Mental Health Act.

If you would like to learn more about our office and about patient rights, I invite you to visit our website.


My response. This was after I had sent her an email of the crime scene photos from the lady I appeared on the news with.

Clearly, looking at results such as these, there should be people hanging their heads in shame. Hiding behind the "civil liberties" argument using this as an excuse to cut costs.
Finding it acceptable to pay out in compensation to a family who has been failed as it is the cheaper option rather than pay out and put the proper facilities in place for vulnerable people.



TMH Blog – January 24, 2012

Parental Anguish, Teen Angst

With this blog I am following up on the theme of the responsibility of civil society to help people who are as a result of their mental condition making terrible decisions about their well-being, often to the anguish and heartbreak of those who love them the most. Take for example the story of “Jane” as she is called. She is sixteen and diagnosed with a host of mental disorders. She has been in and out of so called treatment centers for young people – all for short degrees of time. There has been little or no success. She runs when not in supportive structured care and her life seems to be on a trajectory to a real and present disaster. She has not (according to the media story: check it out here -
http://www.edmontonjournal.com/healt...686/story.html. )
been able to be helped because the “system” does not recognize and provide sufficient supportive controlled environments to the small number of young people who need them desperately during their formative years. No, we rather hide behind the apron of so called freedom and later incarcerate them for life (if they last that long). We build prisons instead of supportive and secure residential treatment centers.

Whatever the diagnosis that “Jane” has, the outcomes to date speak to significant emotional and cognitive turmoil that have resulted in a variety of self-destructive behaviors. The only method that we know of to help young people struggling with these challenges is to have such a young person link with and remain in a structured and supportive environment where her/his physical, emotional and cognitive needs can be therapeutically addressed over time. The alternative is a probable life sentence of pain, suffering and slow death.

But as the story of “Jane” (see above) demonstrates, we as a responsible and caring society seem not be able to get our act together to take the leadership needed so that “Jane” and others like her can get a fighting chance for success. On the contrary, it seems that the decks are stacked against a positive outcome. Why? I do not know all the reasons and I admit that they are complicated. But one reason for sure is as a society we seem to be very reluctance to practice compassionate control and supportive structuring so that kids who are not in control can have a chance to learn self control and increase their odds for a positive instead of a negative outcome.

Instead, we dither and families burn in the fire of indecision flamed by the fuel of non-intervention until it is too late. To paraphrase Bob Dylan, how many deaths will it take till we know that too many (who could have been saved) have died? How many kids will be given a life sentence of poverty, drug abuse and violence because we have chosen not to help them gain control of a life spiraling into the abyss? How many parents have to live in anguish and fear – of that knock on the door and the police officer asking them to come to the hospital or worse? Who amongst us is so confident in our self-righteous piety of non-intervention that we can ignore that we indeed at some time may be called upon to be “our brother’s keeper”?

Is this unwillingness to act in the best interests of the young person really stigma in sheep’s clothing? I wonder what the child’s parents think? Why not talk to one and find out. I am sure that (that is “Janes” real life dad) will be willing to let you know.

And this is from Dr Stan Kutcher who is on the Global Mental Health Board.

http://academy.medicine.dal.ca/kutcher.htm



No response as yet.

themurphyfamily

http://www.facebook.com/permalink.ph...85792738105879

themurphyfamily

Yesterday I was at the Legislature. Why,because the previous night after checking the messages on my FB act and checking other which I rarely look at , I found a message saying that they were worried about our daughter .
According to the message,she is out all night,using cocaine and God knows what else.
It also said that the couple she is living with are registered on some BBW website and to my horror I found our daughter's name is on there as well as the woman and her husband. According to the terms of the website, you have to be 18 to join so how the hell was she allowed to sign up by these people,a teen with all of the Mental deficits that she has and highly sexualised.
And there is nothing I can do about it. Our daughter has signed this enhancement agreement and child services stance is she is 16 and she can choose to live where she wants even though the message stated that she was being encouraged by this woman to chat online with who ever.
Child Services are quite willing to take the chance that there could be grooming of a minor.
I've told them I want her out of there and into a registered foster care home where there is a degree of accountability but again what we as her parents want doesn't come into it.
So I went to Human Services to speak to Dave Hancock and was told I had to make an appt but the soonest I could get to be seen was in May.
So after speaking to Harry Chase, I had them give me the address of Mr Hancocks constituency office.
When I got there, the door was locked. I waited for an hour in total,got the office phone no and rang it. No reply.
I hope people are learning from this as this is what you can expect.
All very well pontificating about protecting our young people from paedos and sexual predators when Child Services are serving our vulnerable youth up on a silver platter.

themurphyfamily

An audience with the human services Minister tomorrow @ 3pm. Meeting with Mental Health Advocate on Friday and meeting with Minister for Health and wellness next week.
Daughter still with this couple. Child Services are still obviously quite prepared to take the chance that our daughter could be being groomed by this couple hiding behind civil rights and "she's 16 and can choose to live with who she wants".
This is what your tax dollars are paying for. This couple are not registered foster carers or background checked adoptive parents. There is a chance that they could be grooming our daughter by actively encouraging her to chat to adult males on this BBW website and be using cocaine and alcohol and paying this couple $700 a month for the privilege.
And still there is nothing I can do about it.

mandymoochops

How does your daughter view yourself and your wife.

At the moment you seem all encompassed with the system, and what they are not doing - which may be translating to your daughter that you are trying to get as much force - to the point of goverment departments - to make her do as she is told.

I truly understand that you love her dearly and feel at a loss - and maybe throwing all of your energy into this is giving you something to focus on.

From what you have written your daughter is gravitating towards people who - rightly or wrongly are giving her what she feels she needs.

Why does she feel that you are not doing that.

Can you change your own behaviour - ie completely stop with the "you must do this that and the other because we know best" as clearly this hasn't worked and is just causing heartache and pain all around.

Have you tried doing an about turn towards her - ie - ok you need monney here it is, give her what she wants - because at least then she may slowly come around to at least wanting to be at home - granted for the wrong reasons but it's a start.

It appears the more you push the more she runs.

So if you stop pushing - she can't run.

With mental problems you cannot expect her to deal with situations in an adult way - be responsible etc - it's clear she doesn't get that concept.

At least if she is mainly under your roof - you have (and I won't say control because you shouldn't control anything) you can monitor things. And it might be difficult to keep your opinions to yourself if she does something - ie "why do you hurt your mother and I, why do you do this etc etc" but if you stop the pressure she might feel comfortable enough to start making steps towards getting things right.

And don't get me wrong you may have tried this already - but this is just an observation.

Piff Poff

They are some really good suggestion MMC.

A close friend of mine had a bit of a problem with her daughter - not on the scale of what going on here but it could have been. She was hanging out with much older people who were taking drugs, there was some prostitution going on (not with friends daughter) etc. My friend and her husband tried everything, the daughter was in some contact but not much. Eventually they said to her, you got to do what you've got to do but Dad will be at such and such a street at such and such a time with some food and coffee, the daughter would come and get the food/coffee and sometimes money and eventually made her way back to the family. She is now training to be a counselor, it wasn't an easy process by any means and the whole situation still hurts the parents, but she is 22 years old now and healthy, this was all going on when she was in her mid - late teens.

Sometimes taking that step back can really help.