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So when does it "get better"

So when does it "get better"

Old Jan 20th 2020, 2:38 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

I feel for you. I really do. Although I don't have kids, I myself have experienced a little bit - and I mean a small hint - of the idea that moving here might have negative repercussions on our marriage. Nothing compared to what you are facing though, but enough to empathise.

Reading your comments, it sounds like you have a more pressing issue than where you live and you probably need to resolve that first before deciding what to do location wise. I certainly don't mean this to sound trivial, or that it is an easy transaction, but it seems like you and your spouse need to analyse what this means for your relationship, devastating as that may be. Marriage counselling, if available and affordable, sounds like your next step and I sincerely wish you all the best.
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 9:17 pm
  #152  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by Tumbling_Dice View Post
Reading your comments, it sounds like you have a more pressing issue than where you live and you probably need to resolve that first before deciding what to do location wise. I certainly don't mean this to sound trivial, or that it is an easy transaction, but it seems like you and your spouse need to analyse what this means for your relationship, devastating as that may be. Marriage counselling, if available and affordable, sounds like your next step and I sincerely wish you all the best.
+1

If you can persuade your other half to agree to it, talking things out with a professional in a calm and controlled environment might be a great option.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 12:26 pm
  #153  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

I've a bit of the same issue here. I'm in Newfoundland, never intended to end up here but there was a job offer and I accepted it. I'd tried to move to Canada on a few occasions in the past and always been stopped one thing or another, but because of that the 'not so ideal' situation was overlooked.

The thing for me is the job hasn't turned out to be interesting, the company although fantastic in its outlook and care for its staff, didn't really expand on what I'd be doing when I got here, just 'development'. My sticking point after that is opportunities as I'll be bringing my wife and 3 kids, ages 11, 14 and crucially 17. All are doing well in the UK, don't want to wreck their lives so I can live in Canada. Needless to say, the wife and 2 of the three kids (the 17 year old just says whatever) are all up for it.

Then there's the home we still own in the UK, if my wife exits her UK job and starts the sale of the house, I don't think my Canadian wage will be able to cover my rental in Canada and our mortgage in the UK. Sterling is getting stronger since brexit finally happened and it's effectively halving my decent wage in Canada.

So I'm weighing up whether I need to get back to my old life in the UK so my skills are still relevant!! It's an absolute @£$%!!

Any advice on this would be interesting!
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 5:27 pm
  #154  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
I've a bit of the same issue here. I'm in Newfoundland, never intended to end up here but there was a job offer and I accepted it. I'd tried to move to Canada on a few occasions in the past and always been stopped one thing or another, but because of that the 'not so ideal' situation was overlooked.

The thing for me is the job hasn't turned out to be interesting, the company although fantastic in its outlook and care for its staff, didn't really expand on what I'd be doing when I got here, just 'development'. My sticking point after that is opportunities as I'll be bringing my wife and 3 kids, ages 11, 14 and crucially 17. All are doing well in the UK, don't want to wreck their lives so I can live in Canada. Needless to say, the wife and 2 of the three kids (the 17 year old just says whatever) are all up for it.

Then there's the home we still own in the UK, if my wife exits her UK job and starts the sale of the house, I don't think my Canadian wage will be able to cover my rental in Canada and our mortgage in the UK. Sterling is getting stronger since brexit finally happened and it's effectively halving my decent wage in Canada.

So I'm weighing up whether I need to get back to my old life in the UK so my skills are still relevant!! It's an absolute @£$%!!

Any advice on this would be interesting!
In simple terms, you have to ask yourself why you want to be in Canada / Newfoundland and work out the value of it. Is it valuable enough that the sacrifice of a more dynamic career is a price worth paying? If not, you can head home and know that you tried it, you experienced it and will likely have grown because of it.

I suppose the other thing to consider is whether you use Newfoundland as your staging post and work out where you want to be in Canada and make that a goal to be achieved by X date.


Solely on the basis of what you have written above, were it me, I would be off home and would get my Canada fix by holidaying here.


Last edited by Tumbling_Dice; Jan 22nd 2020 at 5:30 pm.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 7:05 pm
  #155  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
I've a bit of the same issue here. I'm in Newfoundland, never intended to end up here but there was a job offer and I accepted it. I'd tried to move to Canada on a few occasions in the past and always been stopped one thing or another, but because of that the 'not so ideal' situation was overlooked.

The thing for me is the job hasn't turned out to be interesting, the company although fantastic in its outlook and care for its staff, didn't really expand on what I'd be doing when I got here, just 'development'. My sticking point after that is opportunities as I'll be bringing my wife and 3 kids, ages 11, 14 and crucially 17. All are doing well in the UK, don't want to wreck their lives so I can live in Canada. Needless to say, the wife and 2 of the three kids (the 17 year old just says whatever) are all up for it.

Then there's the home we still own in the UK, if my wife exits her UK job and starts the sale of the house, I don't think my Canadian wage will be able to cover my rental in Canada and our mortgage in the UK. Sterling is getting stronger since brexit finally happened and it's effectively halving my decent wage in Canada.

So I'm weighing up whether I need to get back to my old life in the UK so my skills are still relevant!! It's an absolute @£$%!!

Any advice on this would be interesting!
I definitely wouldn't proceed with the full UK to Canada move with your current job. I'd update the resume and the linked in, if by development you mean software development then you are highly sought after and should be able to find a much better paying job in Canada very easily, likely for more than you would make in the UK as salaries here tend to compete more with US salaries. You might have to look to other provinces though, I know that New Brunswick has tons of tech jobs they have been struggling to fill which is relatively close to Newfoundland.

If you want to stay in Canada I'd give at least that a good effort to try and find something better here before giving up and returning to the UK.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 1:43 am
  #156  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

aw194, I agree with the others, look for another position first but put a timeframe/exit point on it (like 6 months) so it doesn't become an open-ended trap. It also seems you have done your own analysis and are leaning towards the UK.

The "Carcajou Rule" of migration needing to be a cold, hard business decision applies to the family unit and not just the individual. What does your wife do now, and what are her prospects in Newfoundland? If she has to come but then not work for an extended period or be underemployed, that will be difficult and frustrating for her, and will increase pressure on you.

Don't bother trying to figure out the kids' job prospects. The average teenager changes what they want to do multiple times and that continues on into uni as well. Trying to program a move to that level of control is not possible. If you're coming from a place like South Africa or Greece, yes you could make a blanket statement that job prospects for the kids will be a lot better and that could be justification, but not coming from somewhere like the UK.

But if you find something better, and there's a way forwards for her, that again changes the calculus. Has she done a work recce yet? If not, it might be time to plan one of those in the next 90 days. Because if she finds something and a way forwards for her in Newfoundland, that will then ease the pressure and strain on you and buy you "breathing space."

The other thing you need to consider, is that a person's professional links "back home" don't last forever and generally have a short shelf life - about 2 years. So you are saying it would be relatively straight-forwards for you to find work again now in the UK. That will be harder in a few years as your network there will atrophy.

Communicate honestly. Does she know you are thinking about pulling the plug, and why? Have that honest conversation with her and highlight the finances. Emotions can't override the finances of it. Don't let her think everything is going swimmingly and then surprise her with sudden talk of wanting to go back.

Seems to me you have done the finances and concluded better to go back unless a "game-changer" happens in Canada. I think 6 months plus a work recce for the wife would be a good time frame to see if that can happen or not.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 1:50 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy View Post
I definitely wouldn't proceed with the full UK to Canada move with your current job. I'd update the resume and the linked in, if by development you mean software development then you are highly sought after and should be able to find a much better paying job in Canada very easily, likely for more than you would make in the UK as salaries here tend to compete more with US salaries. You might have to look to other provinces though, I know that New Brunswick has tons of tech jobs they have been struggling to fill which is relatively close to Newfoundland.

If you want to stay in Canada I'd give at least that a good effort to try and find something better here before giving up and returning to the UK.
This is interesting, hearing about New Brunswick. The issue with my work permit means I can only work at this company, once I get PR that would change and the application is advanced. Thanks for the insight.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 1:55 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Thanks for your points there. I’ve been completely open with my wife at all stages of this, we’re a very open couple in that respect and level headed realists, so my decision will only come after extensive discussion with her. Interesting you said about a work recycling too, we’d discussed her coming over to see what she thinks first hand. May give it a go. Cheers, appreciated.

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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 5:05 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
This is interesting, hearing about New Brunswick. The issue with my work permit means I can only work at this company, once I get PR that would change and the application is advanced. Thanks for the insight.
Have you been nominated by the company for Provincial Nomination (Atlantic Provinces Pilot Project or similar)? If so do be aware that changing jobs or Province (particularly within a year of obtaining PR) could jeapardise your PR application / status.

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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 9:50 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

From one who stumbled onto this thread by accident...

Interesting how it all started as being about adjusting/not adjusting, went into food, then politics and inevitably Brex(s)hit, and now back on its original track again. . How we do wander, we nomads. But these ancient pieces can be fun, not to overlook much useful and een valuable information such as this one contains, and it's good to return to them, or post new thoughts, a ways down the track.

Basically, my point is that either one is a nomad or one isn't. We all do things, even very important things in our lives, for vastly different reasons which vary from person to person. But it seems to be in one's 'basic core' that either one adjusts to new locations or situations quickly and moves on, or one doesn't. If/when traveling to a new destination halfway around the world to live, it's good to know oneself in advance and work out which of the two categories - nomad or homebody - you falls into. It may save you much angst and a lot of wasted time, not to overlook money.

I was born in New Brunswick but moved to New Mexico with my parents in the '60s. After a year, homesickness set in and I went back to eastern Canada, but even in my late teens I quickly realized it had changed, or I had changed, or most likely a combination of the two had taken place, and very little I knew or recalled was the same. I stayed ten months and from NB I went to Montreal for a (mostly unhappy) year, then Toronto for four (very pleasant) years, in a good job and to finish my uni degree. Then to Vancouver fo a (so-so) year, to California, to Arizona for a contract job which I enjoyed but it didn't lead to anything permanent, and again, on a whim, back to New Mex to pursue a relationship I thought would be The One. Which it wasn't. Nor was Albuquerque. So goodbye to another 18 months of my life, but I loved it.

In the mid-'70s I applied for and got an overseas NGO post which saw me (very briefly) in Saigon, then Bangkok for a year. On to Kuala Lumpur for a six-months university research job, and finally down to Australia (in 1976), which I had briefly visited in 1970 and again in 1974 and 1975. This, I knew, was MY place in the world. So I relocated to Oz and got on with my life, which I've never, ever regretted. But I did miss North America. Even New Brunswick.

Sydney and then Melbourne kept me busy with work, career, friends and relationships until I retired in 2012, at which time I finally got to indulge in a wish I had held on to for all that time, in fact long before, to live in an Asian country, not as a nomad but as a local expat, in one place, to soak up the atmosphere, get to know the culture and make friends with the people.

Let me say here that my purpose in relocating to Asia was NOT to be involved with an Asian babydoll - after two marriages and several long-term relationships I know myself well enough to understand and accept that in most ways I am a Lone Wolf and I function best when I "walk alone" as Indonesians like to say. So yes, a nomad I most certainly am. Indonesia has not been without its problems for me, but I've persevered. Five years in Bandung, a year in Surabaya, and now in Sanur, Bali. After two years in Bandung, I went home to Australia for two months and by chance, met someone who is now my life partner, at a country picnic in Victoria. Who now lives with me in Bali, and commutes to a Singapore out-of-office position for two weeks every month.

So after all this travel and moving about, where would I be if I had my final choice?? Where I am now. For however long I'm here. Australia will always be home for me, but I'm fine where I am now, and in no hurry to return to Australia to finish my (I hope very long) life.

I know this has digressed from a 'life in Canada' thread, but my basic point remains, that some of us will be happy and live our lives wherever we are, and others won't. It's good to know which one you are before committing to a new life in a new country.

I had not been back to New Brunswick for 20+ years until 2017, when we did a two-months car trip around the Atlantic Provinces. In my old home town, population about 7,000 and very much a farming/fishing community, I felt very much like an alien - nobody remembered me, familiar landmarks had either been demolished or relocated, old shops were now new businesses, there were many more shops, schools, government buildings, streets, houses and thousands of trees which hadn't existed when I lived there. An old girlfriend, the class beauty and our school's leading cheerleader in the mid-'60s, was three times married and two times divorced and now a doting grandmother, but as charming as ever. It did annoy me that she didn't remember at first, which rather dented my ageing ego, but heck, that's life.

Many others, formerly my closest friends, had moved on or passed away. The strangest event for me was on a Saturday night in the local 'service' (country) club, when I stood at the bar, transfixed, looking in amazement as all my high school friends came walking in - excet for the obvious and rather mind-twisting fact that the people I was seeing were not my old school mates' but their sons, daughters or in some cases their grandkids. Which impressed me most of all, and made me realize how much time had passed.

So in some ways I'm a nomad, in other ways a homebody. But then it's up to us to live in the here and now, and to make the best of every day as it comes.

Language, customs, services and food I coped with very well, especially all the fresh seafood, generally available at much cheaper prices than in Bushfire Country (as we now call Australia) - with one (culinary) exception - the infamous poutine rapee, which I had to eat again after half a century, and quickly realized how much I detested. The beer (sorry, Molson's) was also as bad as I recalled it. Not for nothing did we rename to Moosehead pale ale as "Moose P*ss". But then, oddly, my (Asian) OH likes both...

Too much to say too little. Suffices to end all this with, if you go back to your 'old place' to relive the past, or try to renew closeness to family or friends left behind years ago, and who have almost all changed (as you have), you' may well be setting yourself up for deep disappointment - no matter how much you miss the cold pork pies, Scotch eggs, and warm ale in country pubs.

(Missing ageing parents or other family is an entirely different matter, of course - but here again, regular visits can take the edge of what may well be misplaced nostalgia for situations that no longer exist.)

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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 12:30 pm
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Yes, this was via the Atlantic Provinces Pilot and I've been made aware about jeopardising the PR application by looking to move within a year. I thought that may be negated if I were to still be in an Atlantic Province. In any case should I decide to stay here I wouldn't do any moving until my status was secured. Thanks.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 4:58 pm
  #162  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
Yes, this was via the Atlantic Provinces Pilot and I've been made aware about jeopardising the PR application by looking to move within a year. I thought that may be negated if I were to still be in an Atlantic Province. In any case should I decide to stay here I wouldn't do any moving until my status was secured. Thanks.
Not just the application - if you have Provincial Nomination you are expected to continue to live in that Province for a minimum of a year after you have received PR.
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Old Feb 14th 2020, 11:59 pm
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Hey all, back again. Does anyone know if there would be any chance of a company backed sponsorship being denied by either the NL gov't or then CIC? I've been told, now that all documents have been filled in satisfactorily, NL will take 3 months and then CIC will take a further 6 months. So I won't know whether this is sorted until September at least. Granted you don't have a crystal ball but just curious if this has ever happened before with a program like the Atlantic Provinces Pilot. Thanks in advance for any info/insight.
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Old Yesterday, 9:17 am
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
Hey all, back again. Does anyone know if there would be any chance of a company backed sponsorship being denied by either the NL gov't or then CIC? I've been told, now that all documents have been filled in satisfactorily, NL will take 3 months and then CIC will take a further 6 months. So I won't know whether this is sorted until September at least. Granted you don't have a crystal ball but just curious if this has ever happened before with a program like the Atlantic Provinces Pilot. Thanks in advance for any info/insight.
That's really a question for the immigration sub-forum rather than here.
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Old Yesterday, 11:15 am
  #165  
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Default Re: So when does it "get better"

Originally Posted by aw194 View Post
Hey all, back again. Does anyone know if there would be any chance of a company backed sponsorship being denied by either the NL gov't or then CIC? I've been told, now that all documents have been filled in satisfactorily, NL will take 3 months and then CIC will take a further 6 months. So I won't know whether this is sorted until September at least. Granted you don't have a crystal ball but just curious if this has ever happened before with a program like the Atlantic Provinces Pilot. Thanks in advance for any info/insight.
Yes, of course it can be refused. You can even be denied even at the last minute when you go to 'land' to activate PR status, there's no guarantee at any stage. But as long as you meet the requirements, then there should be no reason for your application to be refused.
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