Should we go for it????
 

Hi all,
Glad I found you, my husband and I are currently trying to make the decision??? Do we move to Canada???

Both of us are in our thirties, my husband is Engineering manager for a large cheese factory, and I'm a Support Worker for people with learning difficulties.
We have three children (10.8 and 6 years) the children are actually my step children but have been with me since the youngest was 1 year old. So we have the birth mother to consider, we are not sure if she will say yes, she has very limited contact and does not support them financially. the children call me their real mum and the birth mother other mum, so are family is complex!

We considered Canada 5 years ago, but had to change our minds when the children came to live with us, plus the fact i did not want to leave my family. My parents, sister and brother in law have decided to move to France, and now both of think the time is right, but we have a long list of ifs buts and maybe's.

We are both unhappy with this country, but are wondering if the grass is really greener!

It's such a big decision to make, and we are very conscious that we will be altering the children's future, what if we are wrong? The children are doing well at school and we have no idea what the education is like in Canada, basically we're confused...

It's reassuring to see that there are lots of other people struggling with the same decision.

Charlie & Chris

Re: Should we go for it????
 

No.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Hi Charlie & Chris
We too have been wondering whether a move to Oz would be a great thing for the family (3 kids 12,9 and 6) We are actually going on holiday there soon, so hopefully we can get the feel of the place. Like you say I think loads of us have the same struggling decisions but in the end I think you just think 'go for it' - if you don't you will never know - whats that saying "better to regret the things you have done and regret the things that you have'nt". Obviously the only prob you have as a family is the children's birth mother - do you think she would let them go? It must be very difficult for you, but I wish you all the luck in the world.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

hi charlie and chris, i really do agree with you about the UK. its just more and more depression every day. my wife and i are going out to BC in a few weeks to do a bit of fact finding as we have recentley started the ball rolling on a move for us and our 2 children. to be honest i know were going to like it anyway. i say go for it.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Thanks guys,
I think we both know that if it is possible then thats what we're going to do, but it's great to hear from people who are trying to make the same decision. if it was just Chris and I it would be a no brainer, but we have the children to consider....
I guess that the answer is always going to be that life is what you make it, and the only obstacles you ever really have are your own expectations.
Charlie

Re: Should we go for it????
 

We've off to BC to live soon and have two children aged 10 and 11 and they are just as excited about it as us. They have been out twice already and we are going out again to look at schools and houses next week. There is so much more for them out there and the way of life is so different. Everyone seems much more relaxed and happy with their lot. Have you been? If not, have a trip and see what you make of it. I'm sure you'll like it as much as we do.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Hi,
We have not been yet, but plan to asap for a look. We have not mentioned it to the children yet, as we have said nothing to the birth mother....
We can't quite make our minds how to tackle that one...

Do we visit, then ask?? Or ask then visit??

Could you let me know how you get on in BC, especially the schools??
Charlie

Re: Should we go for it????
 

What if you visit, fall in love with the place and then 'other' mum says no!

From what we know already, schools seems very good generally - as everywhere some are better than others. We'll let you know how we find them when we get back.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

That's the sticky bit, and why were not sure which way to do things.
We do have some legal options, could go to court to be granted the right to take the children, but we would prefer to have her agree. She does not have regular contact with the children.

We are the ones who provide the support for the children both emotionally and financially, she does not work, never has done, and probably never will. So university, weddings etc is going to be down to us.

The other idea is that we will pay her a lump sum to allow us to take the children or we could stick lump sum in the bank to use for airfare for the next 10 years for the children to come back and see her.

All a bit of pickle really...
Charlie

Re: Should we go for it????
 

It's going to be better all round if she agrees both for you now and in the future. Which is going to cause the least trouble - asking her if you can do it or telling her that you are regardless? As you say, a sticky one but good luck.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

I would agree with Gloveman there. If you go, get all excited, then put it to her and she stamps her foot down, you are surely going to feel more disappointed, and feel like you've hit a brick wall. I would approach her with the 'idea' first and test the water.

Best of luck and I hope the decisions all go in your favour.

As for the grass being greener...............well, no, just a different shade of green ! There are things we don't like about Canada, just as there were things we didn't like about the UK. On balance, I think we have a 'better' lifestlye, in terms of what 'we' as a family were looking for.
If you go for it with your eyes wide open, not expecting perfection, just a different view out the window, and an opportunity to try something new and different, then I think thats the best way to get your head around it all.

Fingers crossed for you !

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Welcome!

I'd actually disagree with what the others have said. I think you should visit before you broach the subject. And not only visit BC, but consider Alberta and other parts of Canada before you make up your minds.

Then you should consider under what grounds you can apply to move here. If you come under a temporary work permit you might be here within the year (if you can arrange a job). If you apply as a skilled worker you must qualify on the points system, and it can take around 4 years! I wouldn't think that you would qualify for a provincial nominee program, but you might look into that option. Visit one of the "Emigrate" shows in the UK.

You need to consider finances and how they would go in BC for instance (BC="bring cash"!)

Personally I'm sure you will love the place and your kids will love it too, but there are more things than you have maybe considered before you could definitely tell their birth mother that you are going ..... so why make waves so early on in the process.

Just my 2c. :D

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Mo' you have just put into words what I was thinking.......If you've not come to Canada before you should visit to see if it's the sort of place you like.

We are so pleased we moved to Alberta - the grass is definately greener (well it's usually brown here but...)for us, there are aspects of the UK we miss, but we would miss more of our lives here if we had to go back to the UK. Our daughter loves her school, she loves the variety of activities she gets to do, she has just been learning skiing - she hates it but there you go, she loves the options of all the summer camps.

There are plenty of people that regret moving out of the UK to their land of dreams and then end up going back, there are also plenty of people that move to their land of dreams and wish they had done it years ago.

Good luck with whatever decision you make - remember once you put your application in, you can always cahnge your mind!

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Exactly. I just think that you need to really research a bit more, come for a visit, see if you want to live here, and if it's possible before you decide. Otherwise you could put the whole family, including the kids mother, into a spin maybe for nothing.

Then once you have done that, you will have a reasoned argument to present, rather than just telling her you think you'd like to take the kids half way around the world because it seems like a nice idea ........

Re: Should we go for it????
 

I get what you are saying, but please don't get the wrong idea, this is not a whim, there have always been things in the past to stop us and at the moment the only problem is the 'other' mum.

I hope that both of us are being realistic about this, we accept that there are pros and cons, but are both of the opinion that the pros outweigh the cons, at the end of the day our priority is the children, and we will only endeavor to do what we believe is best for them.

We looked into this 5 years ago and my husband had already been offered a job, but we had to forget the idea as the children came to live with us. At the time we thought it would be a temporary situation, but 5 years down the line have concluded that it is not.

We have looked into the points system and if I understand it correctly we would qualify, and also under the BC PNP I think we would qualify because of my husbands qualifications and area of expertise, but I am not totally sure??
Everything seems rather complex....

As for the money side, after paying off everything in the UK we would have a hefty chunk to bring with us, enough to put 50% down on a house.

I guess there are always risks involved with monumental decisions....

It is great what everyone is saying, it really does make you think and all your reply's are really helping, thanks guys.

Charlie xx

Re: Should we go for it????
 

My 2c:

1. I think it helps to create a realistic hard nosed pro's and con's list - what's good/bad about the UK. What will you 'lose' by moving to Canada. Then, what is it about Canada that appeals. The reality, not some bonkers 'dream'.

2. Be sure to cover off the negatives by doing some real quality in depth research e.g. by speaking with people here and searching previous threads on subjects of importance. Do a 'risk analysis' of what might go wrong, and how you'd cope with it - i.e. you don't get a job in the profession of choice for 6 months - are you prepared to work minimum wage to earn $ and meet people ?

3. Be sure to lose the rose tinted shades - it's hard to do especially when you go on recee trips. Remember, you're essentially on vacation, no matter how hard you try to make it 'real'. You're excited, relaxed, happy, spening money, people are friendly/kind etc. Under these circumstances, Canada will be appealing.

4. Remember also that emigration can be like a complete breath of fresh air, you can lose all the baggage and hang ups, reinvent your life. The excitement of a new life, new things, new interests, new people, can all boost your everyday life and make it all essentially more interesting. You take less for granted, life has more of a 'privelidged feel' about it. Everyday things give you goosebumps because of where you are and what you achieved making your life right here right now. Doing something few people do because of the change/distance/risk involved.

5. There is nil guarantee that despite all planning, research, thinking and deliberations, that the grass will be greener, even if on paper it damnedwelloughtashouldmustbe. Think through the challenges, pitfalls, etc. Prior life experience helps - if you have moved in the UK before, been away from friends and family, had to make new friends from scratch, been in difficult situations, overcome domestic and professional problems, been unemployed, had to rethink career, etc, then IMHO you stand a better chance of successful migration in the long term, but factor all that prior life experience x10 and you'll get the idea.

Good luck to you all,

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

We are doing PNP. First you need a job and then things can happen quickly so you need to be prepared.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

I am really sorry! :o

I truly didn't mean to imply that this was just a whim, ..... I was just thinking ahead to when you tell/ask the other person, that you should have all guns prepared and ready to fire as it were ..... steamroller it through and be able to answer any objection that might be raised!

Good Luck, and yes.... Go for it!

Re: Should we go for it????
 

I would say go for it,have back up plans and maintain stable relationship
with your spouse for support when going through the adjustment here.
All the best :thumbup:
Yoong

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Morwenna,
No worries, I wasn't offended, well maybe a bit....

That is whats great about this forum, you guys are giving us the info that will enable us to make an informed decision, you're making suggestions and comments that we had not thought of...

One of the definate things is that my husband will not move without securing employment first, I'm the one busy packing!! Between the two of I hope we will make the right decision.

The areas we have been looking at are Vancouver and Toronto, because of Chris's work, he would prefer Toronto, but i'm not sure about the weather,
we need to do alot more research.
Charlie xxx

Re: Should we go for it????
 

HI there, this is the biggest decision that my husband and I have ever made in our 15yrs together. (It is a decision that is personal to you and only you can make, you can most certainly take into account what people say to you, we have found this site and another to be invaluable in our research). Mainly because we now have a wee boy to consider who is settled at school, has loads of friends, cousins etc etc in the UK. The main point for us is that we have dreamed of this since 1998, we want a better future/way of life for our son and new baby.We fell in love with Canada when we were out and after having been refused as family class last year we went onto hire a consultant to help us with the red tape etc etc this time around. As already said on a thread here, this means that we still had all the legwork ie/forms/photos/job dates/address dates etc etc, which was slightly easier as we had already looked all this information out, but our consultant has helped us immensley along the way with doing things the Canadian way, ie/CV preparation etc etc. The bottom line for me and my family unit is in 10years time we want to look back and say we tried absolutely everything we could to try and make our own dreams come true and if we are not successful we have looked at every avenue and tried all we could. I sincerely wish you all the best in what is a very difficult decision.

Sonic

Re: Should we go for it????
 

I think this is the key......absolutely. Especially when you have small children in tow as we did.
We started the whole PR process and talked at length about wether we would just go without having secured a job beforehand. Its a tricky one as your desire to be in Canada is so strong, and all the plans and dreams about the new life keep calling you, yet we figured it was just too much of a risk, for our little family unit.

My hubby went all out, and I mean all out, to get a position in Alberta (the province that offered him the most opportunities in his field of work) And lady luck smiled on us , thankfully. He had a good job, in his field, to begin 2 weeks after landing.

I know many people do leave the UK, with no job to come to. For some it works out fine:thumbup: and was worth the risk, for others it doesn't. :ohmy:

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Rich, you can be so caring when you shake off that cynical persona of yours;)

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Mwak. It's not cynicism bro, it's reality. Cast off thy rose tinted shades and thy shalt see the world for what it is - there's bad 'uns out there ya know ;)

Anyways peeps don't like to hear the bad news cos it's pisses on their parade. That's human nature and understandable, but I'd rather be heads up and then later on peeps can look back and think 'yeah, I remember that did get a mention way back when'. Been there myself a couple times.

Anyways I am caring. It's the Cascadian way....share the love, brothers and sisters :lol:

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Yes its hard when you have to consider 'the other parent'.
My son is 11 and has a close bond with his dad. When we informed him of our move to Canada, we had researched, researched and researched some more, before we actually informed him. At first it was difficult for him but once we updated him on the benefits for our son he finally agreed. Also he hasn't worked for 6 years and hasn't contributed financially towards our son for many years; so he realised that if we had to go to court he wouldn't have a leg to stand on so to speak.....
We have been here since 19th January and so its still early days but so far we have bought a house, Connor has settled in his new school, my OH started work today and we get our new car on Friday:D
So my advise is to research new schools, look into parks and recreational activities for your children, libraries etc... Inform the other parent that you will help the children to start a scrap book on what they are doing, take photos, write letters and basically keep open all forms of communication. Gather any information that would show the courts the potential benefits your children would receive if they moved to Canada.
Go for it and good luck
Kelly

Re: Should we go for it????
 

It's a fine line you tread my son.:D (I'M NOT YOUR SON!:frown: )

You're getting your ass kicked on another thread by some individuals, like wat I just did on another thread myself. :ohmy: missunderstanding, lot of it about.
You have a good point here, ...keep up the good work...:thumbup:

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Tragic innit. Like I could care less. One'd have to have a very thin skin to take these mundane cyber blabberings to heart. If it hurts, dear sweetpeas, then maybe best to move on ;) there's no time for the fragile egos or insecurity or matters of low self-esteem. There are websites offering counselling for such woes.

The playground gets a bit ruffty tuffty sometimes, no sticky plasters at hand here :lol:

Rich

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Not just here...:(

What do you do to make a 'living' Rich? (if you don't mind me asking, and don't mind having others know of course:) ).

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Nothing shady. :blink: :lol:

My professional history and area of expertize lies in business management/business improvement/project management.

On the side, I do, occasionally and as/when it suits me, some real estate renovations - buy, renovate, flip, repeat. Depends on the market, my mood and energy levels. Such activities can be very rewarding, but demanding. Living in the place you are renovating can be a bummer, herself likes neat and tidy, thus nerves can fray a little.

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

You're within the same professional category as my wife then, but she's mainly in the project management area. She's cleverer than what I am, I'm pisces you see, so can't make a living.:) she's also also the principle applicant.

Property is expensive in your neck of the woods so I guess you must make 'a few bob' from each building project you take on. Or are the rewards simpler than that? (There's a reason for asking this question).

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"We are both unhappy with this country, but are wondering if the grass is really greener!"

The grass isn't greener, it's just a different texture. We've found that it's not particularly 'better', but just 'different' in a way that we like and in a way that suits us and that we feel comfortable with. The hard part is you'll never really find out if you'll be happy here until you take the plunge. It's a brave thing for anyone to do, but remarkably easy in this day and age, and let's face it...we all need some adventure in our lives otherwise what's the point!

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Ah you misunderstand me slightly. We made good profit from a few previous UK renos over the years. e.g we made good money on flipping a house that is now unsaleable due to motorway widening. Tragic, as the buyer was a hardball lawyer. Mwah. Karma innit.

Our current project is at last stages, we'll finish most the work this spring, leave the kitchen to next year then flip in 2008 assuming all's well with the market here. That gives us best part of 12 months to enjoy living in-situ and all done to our taste/quality expectations. I think flipping every 2-3 years cycle is adequate for those that don't do it for a full time living. Problem at the moment here is a lack of suitably-priced properties to buy with an investment eye. We'd flip this year if we thought we could improve on location and potential. Location, well we'd be hard pressed to beat our mountaintop paradise other than by adding a lakeview and there'd be other unacceptable compromises to make like lot size, space between homes, rooftop view, price, which would deter us, even if it had future potential.

Anyhoo, there's also personal satisfaction gained from improving and updating a property. Profit, like in any business, is just a by-product, proof that you did a good job of the task/service/product in hand.

Rich.

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Yep, misunderstanding, again... ok my question changes a tad but still relevant, In your opinion and using the knowledge you now have, would you, if you had the chance again, buy land and build something from scratch?? I'm talking specifically about the Kelowna and surrounding areas here.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

No, absolutely not. 2 years ago, yes definitely, we had plans to do that, now, no.

1. Cost of trades labour rising, quality is very dubious in some cases.
2. Cost of raw materials possibly rising = escalated project cost & delays
3. Profit/cost saving for self build versus straight buy of same spec home or reno project is marginal, used to be way different, now is likely not worth it. NB self buld means you do get to define spec, design, etc.
3. Prompt availability of project contractor not very likely, delay will add to build cost = impact on profit/cost saving.

Anywhere else in Canada, maybe the market/supply is different. Here I'd not do it, personally, my 2c. Now, if money was no object and I wanted to have exactly what I wanted, a dream home, built, where I wanted it located, then fine, $'s alone (cost savings/profit) are not everything.

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Thanks for that Rich, that WAS a plan we had seriously considered, particulary (for reasons we can't fathom objectively) around the area you are now in. Inside information, invaluable...:thumbup:
Still considering that side ob BC though, maybe with different plans...:thumbup:

Cheers again.

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Well if you were planning to build a $2m lakeshore home and sell for $4m in 2-3 years time that's a different kettle of gold plated eagles eggs... :blink:

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

That's the point, build for later profit... would be my bag but the lady just like yours would hate the upheaval and temporary nature of the houses we would dwell in. Wants a permanent 'home' for the family, can't blame her...I guess.
We got around £200,000 to take for house purchase, a goodly amount for say, Belleville, or near the Alaskan border:D but Kelowna...
House isn't all though...the place fascinates me...

Re: Should we go for it????
 

That's a decent enough dump for a downpayment though.

In pure net terms you'd be well ahead of many folk here in K-Town.
Plenty of the 'fur coat/no knickers' brigade here, $3000pm interest only mortgages all brash and bling and show, innit. Peeps pay heavily through the nose for the 'Sunny Okanagan Lifestyle' - I don't know how some of 'em manage it, on paper there's no way they can put food on the table.

Quote from a contractor this morning "this town isn't for locals any more". With SF homes at >$450K that's a pretty realistic comment. The money flowing around here is just unreal and there's a flood more to come, the boom's certainly not over yet. In fact, the more people I speak to in real estate/construction, I get the vibes that it's only just started.

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Ah now here's a plan for you. Buy new home basement unfinished. Has all your required living space. Finish the basement, add bedroom bathroom lounge down and then flip having doubled the living space.

Doesn't affect daily living so much and there's a profit line in it.:thumbup:

Rich.

Re: Should we go for it????
 

Good for a downpayment I agree, but it's meant for buying the house outright, we don't want a mortgage, at least not until the work and therefore the money comes in. Obviously a good area for investment though if what you say comes to fruition.:thumbup: