purple80

Hi all,
Glad I found you, my husband and I are currently trying to make the decision??? Do we move to Canada???

Both of us are in our thirties, my husband is Engineering manager for a large cheese factory, and I'm a Support Worker for people with learning difficulties.
We have three children (10.8 and 6 years) the children are actually my step children but have been with me since the youngest was 1 year old. So we have the birth mother to consider, we are not sure if she will say yes, she has very limited contact and does not support them financially. the children call me their real mum and the birth mother other mum, so are family is complex!

We considered Canada 5 years ago, but had to change our minds when the children came to live with us, plus the fact i did not want to leave my family. My parents, sister and brother in law have decided to move to France, and now both of think the time is right, but we have a long list of ifs buts and maybe's.

We are both unhappy with this country, but are wondering if the grass is really greener!

It's such a big decision to make, and we are very conscious that we will be altering the children's future, what if we are wrong? The children are doing well at school and we have no idea what the education is like in Canada, basically we're confused...

It's reassuring to see that there are lots of other people struggling with the same decision.

Charlie & Chris

Deer Hunter

No.

hgardner

Hi Charlie & Chris
We too have been wondering whether a move to Oz would be a great thing for the family (3 kids 12,9 and 6) We are actually going on holiday there soon, so hopefully we can get the feel of the place. Like you say I think loads of us have the same struggling decisions but in the end I think you just think 'go for it' - if you don't you will never know - whats that saying "better to regret the things you have done and regret the things that you have'nt". Obviously the only prob you have as a family is the children's birth mother - do you think she would let them go? It must be very difficult for you, but I wish you all the luck in the world.

glenn wilson

hi charlie and chris, i really do agree with you about the UK. its just more and more depression every day. my wife and i are going out to BC in a few weeks to do a bit of fact finding as we have recentley started the ball rolling on a move for us and our 2 children. to be honest i know were going to like it anyway. i say go for it.

purple80

Thanks guys,
I think we both know that if it is possible then thats what we're going to do, but it's great to hear from people who are trying to make the same decision. if it was just Chris and I it would be a no brainer, but we have the children to consider....
I guess that the answer is always going to be that life is what you make it, and the only obstacles you ever really have are your own expectations.
Charlie

gloveman

We've off to BC to live soon and have two children aged 10 and 11 and they are just as excited about it as us. They have been out twice already and we are going out again to look at schools and houses next week. There is so much more for them out there and the way of life is so different. Everyone seems much more relaxed and happy with their lot. Have you been? If not, have a trip and see what you make of it. I'm sure you'll like it as much as we do.

purple80

Hi,
We have not been yet, but plan to asap for a look. We have not mentioned it to the children yet, as we have said nothing to the birth mother....
We can't quite make our minds how to tackle that one...

Do we visit, then ask?? Or ask then visit??

Could you let me know how you get on in BC, especially the schools??
Charlie

gloveman

What if you visit, fall in love with the place and then 'other' mum says no!

From what we know already, schools seems very good generally - as everywhere some are better than others. We'll let you know how we find them when we get back.

purple80

That's the sticky bit, and why were not sure which way to do things.
We do have some legal options, could go to court to be granted the right to take the children, but we would prefer to have her agree. She does not have regular contact with the children.

We are the ones who provide the support for the children both emotionally and financially, she does not work, never has done, and probably never will. So university, weddings etc is going to be down to us.

The other idea is that we will pay her a lump sum to allow us to take the children or we could stick lump sum in the bank to use for airfare for the next 10 years for the children to come back and see her.

All a bit of pickle really...
Charlie

gloveman

It's going to be better all round if she agrees both for you now and in the future. Which is going to cause the least trouble - asking her if you can do it or telling her that you are regardless? As you say, a sticky one but good luck.

R2D2

I would agree with Gloveman there. If you go, get all excited, then put it to her and she stamps her foot down, you are surely going to feel more disappointed, and feel like you've hit a brick wall. I would approach her with the 'idea' first and test the water.

Best of luck and I hope the decisions all go in your favour.

As for the grass being greener...............well, no, just a different shade of green ! There are things we don't like about Canada, just as there were things we didn't like about the UK. On balance, I think we have a 'better' lifestlye, in terms of what 'we' as a family were looking for.
If you go for it with your eyes wide open, not expecting perfection, just a different view out the window, and an opportunity to try something new and different, then I think thats the best way to get your head around it all.

Fingers crossed for you !

Alberta_Rose

Welcome!

I'd actually disagree with what the others have said. I think you should visit before you broach the subject. And not only visit BC, but consider Alberta and other parts of Canada before you make up your minds.

Then you should consider under what grounds you can apply to move here. If you come under a temporary work permit you might be here within the year (if you can arrange a job). If you apply as a skilled worker you must qualify on the points system, and it can take around 4 years! I wouldn't think that you would qualify for a provincial nominee program, but you might look into that option. Visit one of the "Emigrate" shows in the UK.

You need to consider finances and how they would go in BC for instance (BC="bring cash"!)

Personally I'm sure you will love the place and your kids will love it too, but there are more things than you have maybe considered before you could definitely tell their birth mother that you are going ..... so why make waves so early on in the process.

Just my 2c.

Piff Poff

Mo' you have just put into words what I was thinking.......If you've not come to Canada before you should visit to see if it's the sort of place you like.

We are so pleased we moved to Alberta - the grass is definately greener (well it's usually brown here but...)for us, there are aspects of the UK we miss, but we would miss more of our lives here if we had to go back to the UK. Our daughter loves her school, she loves the variety of activities she gets to do, she has just been learning skiing - she hates it but there you go, she loves the options of all the summer camps.

There are plenty of people that regret moving out of the UK to their land of dreams and then end up going back, there are also plenty of people that move to their land of dreams and wish they had done it years ago.

Good luck with whatever decision you make - remember once you put your application in, you can always cahnge your mind!

Alberta_Rose

Exactly. I just think that you need to really research a bit more, come for a visit, see if you want to live here, and if it's possible before you decide. Otherwise you could put the whole family, including the kids mother, into a spin maybe for nothing.

Then once you have done that, you will have a reasoned argument to present, rather than just telling her you think you'd like to take the kids half way around the world because it seems like a nice idea ........

purple80

I get what you are saying, but please don't get the wrong idea, this is not a whim, there have always been things in the past to stop us and at the moment the only problem is the 'other' mum.

I hope that both of us are being realistic about this, we accept that there are pros and cons, but are both of the opinion that the pros outweigh the cons, at the end of the day our priority is the children, and we will only endeavor to do what we believe is best for them.

We looked into this 5 years ago and my husband had already been offered a job, but we had to forget the idea as the children came to live with us. At the time we thought it would be a temporary situation, but 5 years down the line have concluded that it is not.

We have looked into the points system and if I understand it correctly we would qualify, and also under the BC PNP I think we would qualify because of my husbands qualifications and area of expertise, but I am not totally sure??
Everything seems rather complex....

As for the money side, after paying off everything in the UK we would have a hefty chunk to bring with us, enough to put 50% down on a house.

I guess there are always risks involved with monumental decisions....

It is great what everyone is saying, it really does make you think and all your reply's are really helping, thanks guys.

Charlie xx