British Expats - Saying goodbye...

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Re: Saying goodbye...

Happened to me as well, mom died suddenly march 2010, alone, I was halfway across the world here, sister was less than two blocks from her. Glad I had a great telephone coversation with her a few days before but it was my sister that felt more guilt, for being so close and not being able to help. And of course I thought about it before I left and still do about my dad and stepmom, who are both in good health in their 50/60s. But there was no way my mother would have allowed me to stay because of a what if. I always Planned on moving back to bc when she got older and her health started to go but no one expets to lose their mum at 61.

Re: Saying goodbye...

So sorry for your loss but wanted to thank you for sharing your story.

Re: Saying goodbye...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sally Redux (Post 10507184)

...of non-native peoples.

Or, in other words, empty.

Re: Saying goodbye...

I received an email his morning from my neighbour who had opened a letter from a solicitor that had arrived at my old UK address to tell me my Dad had died on the 28th December. We had a discussion before he lost it about him wishing he could say 'goodbye' and drift off to sleep forever about this time last year. Last time I saw him before I came back to CA he didn't know who I was so I would like to think we said 'goodbye' a long time ago.

Re: Saying goodbye...

My Dad was pretty much the same in and out of lucidness. It is such an awful illness not just to the person suffering from it , but to all of those around it. I know in the case of my Dad and for most, with alzheimers we say our goodbyes long before it is goodbye!

Re: Saying goodbye...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Half of the battle here for you is the schock factor. We lost a very good friend very suddenly and another through cancer. The first death was easiest on him but hardest on us, the second was easier in a way for us but harder for her, as we had time to get on a flight and say goodbye.

The shock of sudden passing cannot be under-estimated and time will help you but there are, as everyone knows, no shortcuts.

Good advice as everyone has said, keep telling people that you love them, wherever you reside in the world. Thats all you can do, death is the only certainty in life.

Re: Saying goodbye...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howefamily (Post 10509851)

death is the only certainty in life.

Or as they say in Avenue Q "Death and Taxes" :)

Rx

Re: Saying goodbye...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gazman (Post 10506220)

I am just back to the BE community after the most horrific experience of my life.
I got a call from my sister on 8th Jan to say my mother had been taken ill and rushed into hospital with a suspected heavy stroke. By the time I got to the hospital at 4:00am on the 10th she had suffered a big heart attack too and was only being sustained with the help of the oxygen supply.
She was very weak but managed to open her eyes and look into my eyes for just a moment. She never opened her eyes again after that and we lost her on Sunday the 13th of January 2013.

The reason I'm writing this here is because I've realised that if I'd already embarked my planned move to Canada by now, then I would probably not have got back in time to see my mother look into my eyes before she passed and I would have been devastated.

There are only three positives I can take from this whole experience:
1; She did not recover to find herself disabled by her stroke...she was such an active person even at the age of 79 and she would have been heartbroken to find she could no longer do all the activities she loved.
2; She knew I was there and I was holding her hand, and she looked into my eyes before she passed.
3; I am so proud that I am her son.

The point I'm trying to make within this thread is...before you embark on an adventure to another country far away, make sure you look straight into the eyes of your loved ones and tell them you love them, because it could well be the last opportunity you get to do it.

Sorry to hear of your loss. My wife did not get back in time to see her mother, she was over the Atlantic returning when she passed having received the call to go back asap.