Hi guys,

Ms Giraffe is back after a long absence.

Having moved around quite a bit in my life, and having been priced out of the area where we put down roots, we now face two alternatives: sticking it up here in the North (perhaps with some adjustments in terms of city/area) or considering emigrating (esp. in the mid-term). We are on quite modest salaries and our quality of life suffers, also we have no family or friends in the area we live in, anyway.

Yet Mr Giraffe and myself can't fully agree on this - he is on the 'let's improve our quality of life/ let's take a chance' front, and I find myself looking back and missing the life we had a few years ago, yet knowing we can't afford to go back there, but hoping we can one day. I am not even English, but this is my home now, I know who people are when I switched the telly on, I know many sayings like 'a different kettle of fish', I am used to the way things work here, I love how considerate many people are (respecting queues, caring after environment, etc) but we are under too much of a financial strain.

We considered other countries but ruled out France (we don't speak the lingo) and Spain (I am quite career-minded, I need an interesting/challenging job and unemployment is a big issue there).

We are in the public sector and would ideally look to get jobs in that area one day, if we were to move. We'd be most interested in BC, because I can't stand very rough winters, so that rules out other lovely places like Montreal.

We have no kids yet.

So how did you decide if roots or quality of life are more important? Do you get very homesick? Do you tune into the accent easily? (that put me off Liverpool, people couldn't understand me and vice versa).

We'd like to visit BC in 2010 to see it first hand: interesting sounding places are Vancouver, Victoria, Kelowna, Kamloops and Sooke, so any views on this or my rambling above would be most welcome.

Surprising how moving countries seems so much easier in your early 20s than in your 30s....

The thing that struck me about your post was that you say 'we have no kids yet' - does that mean it's a possibility? If so, I would say that if you feel like this now, it's going to get even worse when you have children.

Imo, you really can't put a price on being close to family when you have young kids, and on them being close to grandparents or aunts/uncles etc. I've no idea if this is relevant for you or not as you say you don't have friends/family where you live, but even if they're in the same country that support can be invaluable! I'm dreading taking my two away from their doting grandparents who they see very regularly - we moved here to be closer to them for when we started a family. Just little things like when I had novovirus earlier this year, one quick phone call to my mum and she came and took the kids away so I could throw up and sleep in peace!! That really brought it home to me, what we'll be giving up when we move.

But, our children have a great life here and I don't think they'll be any better off in Canada, unlike a lot of people who move to give their children a better quality of life. For them it's probably a much easier decision and the loss of family is compensated for by other things.

But if you are already worrying about missing roots/family/familiar things, then I would say you need to think carefully about whether it will get worse when you have children.

JMO, but perhaps something to think about.

Hi Christmasoompa,

Thanks for your reply. I am not from the UK, my family are now about 3 hours flight away, Mr Giraffe's family about 4 hours drive away, which means planning and budgeting when we meet up. On a daily basis, we haven't got that network at the moment, so I know we wouldn't have anything to lose.
Yes, no kids yet, but would like to start our own family, and we may have one by the time we move if we do, anyway : )
I do have an adventurous side that tells me it would be interesting, exciting, new culture, meeting new people, etc., perhaps if it was something like moving somewhere else for one or two years and trying it out before making big commitments (eg. moving furniture and posessions, leaving jobs), it would be easier, but not poss. in our case.

The one thing I really wish we had was family close by. It's definitely harder without help when you have young kids. I am jealous of my inlaws who have 2 sets of doting grandparents within 10 mins drive of their home. On the flipside, the really high need phase of childhood is quite short.

When you say you're priced out of the area you love, do you mean rent-wise or buying wise? If it's buying would you consider renting where you love and perhaps buying somewhere cheaper & renting that? I get the impression from you that there's more pushing you to Canada than pulling you...and BC real estate can be very expensive, esp. if you're looking at the mild winter areas...they tend to be the areas everyone else wants too.

Roots vs quality of life? My guess is if roots are really important to you, missing them is going to affect your quality of life. You should check out the Moving Back forum.

I've lived in Canada for 7 years, before that oz for 4, and I still get intense homesickness every now and then. I dunno. It what it is. I think moving before you have kids is a great idea, though, if only because you meet so many people when you first have kids, whereas it's a bit harder for them and you as you get older.

HTH.

Hi, thank you for your reply.
Priced out as regards to buying, but also rent is extremely expensive in that city, so we would be very restricted.
Neither of us has family or friends in this city, and we just get the gut feeling that it's not the place for us in the mid-term for a number of reasons, for example roughness, which locals don't even notice. There's been a number of postcode gangs episodes in other areas of this city and I routinely see drunkards, addicts, etc. on my way to/from work in the city centre. Not enough police around. So at the moment, we have neither roots nor quality of life.
Husband also wants to experience another culture, another country, and being in an English speaking country would be easiest for us both, like we would be playing at the same level. Currently thinking about BC or USA.

I think you only live once so do without regret! Its a long winded process immigating and the moving all your property must a nightmare i imagine but thibk what you get at the end!! Have a baby in canada dual citizenship

ANyway good luck with what you do

Ps Sooke is gorgeous

The language thing is helpful, but remember, it is another country and some times, culturally, it can be quite differant.

hi, Msgiraffe!
i just had to reply to this one, especially when you mentioned "family".
i can speak only for myself really, as everyone on this forum knows what "support" my family gave me when we emigrated to canada back in 2004!
so, fine, i agree with the moderator "chrismasoompa" i think, but when he/she mentions support of parents, i just fell off my chair laughing (well, i didnt know whether to laugh or cry at first, really!).
if all parents/family were like that, the world would be far better place -- as it is, in our case, we have been fairly and squarely stabbed in the back, not only by parents, but also by siblings, who have all left and settled down on their own, leaving us with the parents, (whom i have laughingly nicknamed "The Monsters", for want of anything else to do about the situation!).
and why didnt i leave them, too? well, you can say that i just happen to have been one of those too typical "mummy's boys", who has probably been brainwashed since childhood, and due to that, the guilt factor of seemingly dumping parents on their own did not seem right to me, whereas the other siblings couldnt give a damn really.
it all depends what YOUR parents/family are like really -- if they are like mine, and heaven help anyone if they are, then you can hope for no help at all, aside of s*it-stirring and controlling everything you think, do and say!
if on the other hand your relatives are trustworthy, then there can be no better thing on this planet than that, for with positive encouragement and support when needed, you will be able to pull through the lowest of your times when abroad.
cut a long one short, i say go for it, especially BC, as i am sure you will really love the place.

Hi Julius,

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to hear your family was not helpful with your move. I think mine would find it difficult to cope with, despite the fact that I am already a 3-hour flight away from them now, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. At the moment, we haven't even visited BC or Florida (the two areas we are thinking about). The other side of the family lives a good three to four hours drive from us, as do our friends.
We have been looking at prices for properties and know Vancouver is out of reach. The places in BC that look interesting to us are: Kelowna, Kamloops, Victoria and Sooke. Ideally, a small city or town, safe, with affordable housing, and somewhere where they are acceptant of foreigners (sounds silly, but we have had issues with people being unfriendly to us because our accents are not Northern).
Have you been to any of these places? Any views? How is the job market there? (we are public sector people).
Thank you - and thanks to Christmasoompa too. All views welcome!