Chrissy22

Hello, my name is Christine and my hubby and I have been living in Vancouver for the past 5 years. Although we do love Vancouver and our lifestyle here, we are considering a move back to the UK to be closer to friends and family. We have a 2 year old son and want to settle down properly and buy a family home. We currently rent in Vancouver and wouldn't be able to afford to buy where we live so would have to move out to the suburbs. We are torn though as I would like to be closer to my friends and family back home and my hubby would be happy to stay here in Vancouver. I am worried if we do leave and give up our Canadian life to be back in UK after a while it will feel like a mistake or maybe we won't settle down after being away for so long. But if we stay will i always be thinking of life back home plus my son will have no extended family around him. Just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation and how it turned out? Your comments much appreciated. I am new to this site. Thank you.

Aviator

Many are in the same situation. It is the price we pay to live where we do. With low cost air travel it is not too hard to get back once a year or more for many.

Our kids grew up far away from family, family comes and visits, we tried moving, but they kept finding us.

Human nature is we can adapt to wherever we choose to live if we choose to accept it. There are also plenty of ping pongers, which can be quite expensive. Unfortunately there are some decisions we can only make and find out for ourselves.

If you have Canadian citizenship, nothing to stop you coming back. If not, it might be unwise for you and your kids sake to leave until you do.

Jackandvictor

Hi Chrissy!
We are one of the Ping pongers and left Vancouver Island before after a very short time cos it wasn't affordable on only one wage. I did some more qualifications back home in Edinburgh as we knew that here was for us. We constantly thought about our return and had to bide our time until we could get back. We are not permanent residents so had to wait on a job offer etc. loved our 6 years back ( although it just felt like being in limbo) and being here now 2 years has shown that we did the right thing. Kids don't have close family but they are happy here.
We still think of home as home and here is home for now. Not sure when it will be "home" in Canada...perhaps when we are PR and have bought a house here. I think once you have experienced another way of life you get stuck between seeing the best and worst in both countries! You will always be a foot in each camp, or is has been for us. Slowly moving the foot in favour of Canada!
Best wishes from just across the sea on VI

MillieF

Have you made friends here? I think the first few years are hard, but I am a bit surprised that after five years you miss the UK so much...that's normally the time that I tend to think "right I've lived here long enough, I'm getting bored now" and want to move. I do think that those with little or no family, or the poor sad sods like me with no UK friends find the transition easier....and it's still extremely taxing some days.

What made you want to come to Canada originally Christine? Would it be financially feasible for you to return to the UK?

withabix

You make the suburbs sound like they are a bad thing!

Where does your husband work? Would it actually be more sensible to live outside Vancouver?

Where would 'home' be in the UK? The wage-house price gap is just as bad back in the UK as it is in many areas here, if not worse. Prices in most of the UK are back above peak 2008 levels again now.

MarylandNed

My wife and I lived in Toronto for 7 years. We then moved back to the UK (London) with our 2 young Canadian-born daughters aged 2½ and 1½. The kids were too young to know what was going on. It was nice to be able to see family and friends again in the UK but, to be honest, they were all over the place so we only saw a very few of them on a regular basis.

We enjoyed our 2 years in London and thought we would settle there (or, if not in London, at least somewhere else in the UK) but then eventually we started to have doubts. One issue was the ridiculous amount of trouble we were having trying to enroll the oldest in a suitable primary school. We also hated the state of the playgrounds and parks we took our kids to - too much litter, graffiti, broken glass, dog poop and foul-mouthed chavs.

The UK just didn't seem as kid friendly as Canada. Once we stopped at a pub/restaurant during the day on the way to Brighton and we were asked to leave because the kids were too young. We've never had that happen during the day in Canada or the US. I could understand it later at night.

I hated the aggressive atmosphere that seems to be part of night life in the UK. You only have to accidentally look at someone the wrong way and you could have some aggro on your hands.

We decided we wanted to return to Canada but, as we were researching the move back, I was offered a job in Maryland which I accepted. We moved with 3 kids aged 4½, 3½ and 1. That was 1998 and we've been here ever since.

Looking back on it, we don't regret the move back to the UK because we enjoyed the experience overall. It seems now like it was something we needed to try and get out of our system so to speak. The kids were young enough that the moves didn't really bother them (no schools or lots of close friends to leave behind). We added a 4th child here in the US. They are all now at least teenagers (the oldest is almost 21), have traveled to the UK to visit family in various parts of the country and, to be perfectly honest, they don't seem that particularly impressed with UK life. There's no way I could uproot them for another move back there.

As for me, there are still lots of things that I miss about the UK. I miss being able to see family & friends. I miss going to football matches. I miss the easy access to the rest of Europe.

Juggernaut1064

have you thought about an extended visit back to the UK instead of moving there full time ? Ive been here 9 years and most that i know moved back regretted it and if possible came back to Canada. Be warned even with residency if you leave Canada for an extended time you may not be allowed to just move back. Please look into this so that if you do decide to leave you know the time limit on your residency.
As for flights for cheap visits to the UK im going back for a family wedding first two weeks in October and its costing me $950 incl all taxes and thats from Edmonton Cheap Airline Tickets, Air Travel & Plane Tickets - CheapOair.ca Think very carefully before moving back as i know the property market has shot up but i doubt income has and it will cost buckets of your money if you move back & then decide to come back here. That money may be better used for a nice place in the burbs near train stations to get you into DT Vancouver ?
Have you used a realtor to look for you a place ? One did me proud here and i got a two bed Condo, fully refurbished, all new appliances etc for $174k. I had tried doing it myself and they where dumps or out of my price range. A realtor doesnt charge you they charge the person who is selling so its kind of free ?

rugbymum

Dear Chrissy,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I too have a husband who wants to stay more than I do. I would move home tomorrow if I could. However perhaps, as you have invested so much here already you should consider citizenship which will make a life of ping ponging easier if that's what your future brings. It's just a thought, you may have done it already. Then no decision will be such a huge one especially if you rent.

Shard

If you're loving the lifestyle and have been able to manage without extended family for five years it suggests you should stay. You're already thinking you may regret it if you leave, whereas many of the people who do leave have seriously had enough or are extremely keen to get back to Britain. It does seem that the real issue for you is housing affordability, and that if you could find somewhere to buy you would feel more settled and maybe have a different outlook. Britain will always be there and if you feel a stronger pull or there are other practical reasons, you can consider going back then.

plasmarb

What job does he have?

carolg2712

For me, the pull is towards Canada. I was born in England, went to Canada as a baby, and when I was 7, I had the rug pulled from under me when we were supposed to be going to England for a vacation to see our family, but when it came to return home, my mum wouldn't get on the plane so I've spent most of my life in England, and yet, I still feel the pull of Canada. In some ways it doesn't make sense to me, I have a lovely family, a nice house, and a good job, so why would I give all of that up for a "pipe dream", and in a way I can appreciate how you might be feeling. It probably isn't much help in terms of your question - but it is nice to know that people aren't alone in any indecision.

I would pursue Citizenship as suggested if you haven't already as I recently discovered that due to my becoming a Canadian Citizen as a 6-year old, my certificate is still valid and my kids qualify for Citizenship by Descent so I know I'm not necessarily time-limited in making a final decision as I'll only need to provide sponsorship for my husband (although a final decision sooner rather than later would be good as my kids work their way through school here).

magnumpi

So annoying when some one goes to the bother of answering and giving a qualified and sensible answer for the OP to just ignore and not even have the politeness to acknowledge the answers !!!

Annoyed in Ajax

Pem Brooke

Lived in Canada for 12 years, moved back to the Northumberland coast this March and never looked back. Had all the trappings in Canada....house, pool, good job, but missed UK. Rarely thought about Ontario since we left....but it was minus 31 on the day we packed so that helped us along!

It's a very personal choice and no one can really advise. Go with your heart. We did.

MillieF

What a nice post. I hope that you have the chance to see if Canada is the dream that you hope it to be. Whist it might have been problematic and unsettling as a child, at least you have your Citizenship and are able to move to Canada relatively easily, should you decide to. Very best of luck

hpka

I second this advice. Whatever your eventual decision, you don't want have immigration circumstances dictate what you have to do. If you have citizenship in Canada then go to the UK, you can reverse your decision later if you wish. Further, your kids can come to Canada later in their lives if they wish.