CampbellsRComing

Took some advice from the 'If you could do it again' thread and did a search on the topic I was interested in i.e. potentially returning to Canada BC after an unsuccessful emigration attempt in 2003 ...

I came across one on the Australia forum and the terms they use is 'Ping-Pong-Pom' ... never heard of it before but it fits ...

Is there anyone on the Canada forum how has experience of being a Ping-Pong-Pom i.e. who have emigrated successfully … but perhaps only on their 2nd or even 3rd attempt??

If I'd appreciate their thoughts on what the reality of their return to the UK was (vs. what they thought they were coming back for) and what was the turning point when they realised that perhaps the move back to the UK hadn't been the best move they'd ever made …???

Also interested in what made their subsequent emigrations successful?? Was in a change in their attitude to emigration (the Australian thread makes a lot of not thinking that the move will be 'forever' and that rings alot of bells with us) ... did you revise your expectations or short-term goals ??

LynseySmith

Lived twice in the States - 1994, then 2000-2002. Last time we sold up for good in Hoole, Chester, went to New York on H1s, but were forced to make some difficult decisions after September the 11th, incl. Greencard withdrawal by company and loads of lay-offs. So, we came back. Bought house at Stanney Oaks - after losing £40,000 in equity and the moves - and have never felt settled. We were going to apply for Canadian in the 90's but the New York thing took over.

OH off this weekend to Waterloo, ON with rest of us to follow in June. Initially on TWPs but also at final stages of PR.

So, it's 3rd time lucky for us. It's been difficult as we have a good standard of living here and have both been in well-paid jobs. But, for us, I guess it's not about the money either. I just hope the PR makes us feel more settled. Also, kids in school etc might help?!

Whatever, life's an adventure!

Good luck with your decision-making

CampbellsRComing

Lynsey,

Thansk for coming back - that's what I'm struggling with alot i.e. we have a nice house in Handbridge, the kids are in or due to go to good schools and yet despite knowing how badly emigration can go wrong I still can't settle ...

Have talked it backwards and forwards on the 'Thinkin of the Island ... again' thread and had it all pretty much sown up in my mind until Buchan6 (post #52) raised the point that Chester isn't exactly 'Scoatsville.'

I guess I'm anxious that there shoudlbe a pull to BC, not just a push from the UK

Butch Cassidy

that sums it up, if there is no pull you are right to have serious doubts. I'm not saying dont do it, I'm just saying (as many others much wiser than me have said) that emmigration should be seen as a journey to not a flight from.

CampbellsRComing

Thanks Butch - that helps

In the process of trying to understand all that is pushing us out of the UK (and it is a balancing act as there is much I like about Chester) and also in the process of organising a reccie to Vancouver Island in August for a month (though maybe for more like 6 - 8 weeks if my job falls on its arse ) to see if there is sufficient pull for us to try it again ...

Londonuck

I went back to London from Vancouver after 7 years and hated it. I would of gone back to Vancouver in the blink of an eye. Now in Wicklow and pleased i didnt return to Vancouver but we plan to possibly return back in a few years. Dont want to be old in Ireland. Still, im happy im here now.

Rob_999

Spot on

CampbellsRComing

Apart from the realisation that the UK was not (in hindsight) as wonderful as it seemed to be in the 'pit of dispair' before most people make the move back ... is there anyting else tangible / pychological that made the 2nd attempt more successful ??

Did you change your expectations of emigration or your goals i.e. see it as a 18 month experience as opposed to emigration-never-to-return??

comet555

I would view it more as an 18-24 month experience.

If you've set a time frame in your mind you're less likely to freak out in the begininng knowing that you'll have to tough it out for a while and can't just run home if you want. I've found it a lot easier to settle knowing that I just need to get on with things and make that 2 years go by as best they can.

It would also be easier if the whole family (or at least the parents) agreed upfront to the timeframe and to do their best to make it work and be positive. This means getting out and doing things, making friends and trying to adapt to the differences instead of fighting them. This also means that you need to STOP comparing things to the UK. It is a different country, there are going to be differences that you may or may not like. You just need to focus on the bigger things and realize that your life may be a bit different while in Canada. It really is easier to accept those changes if you don't see them as permanent.

CampbellsRComing

Pinching a previous expression - Spot On - thanks

The reasons for the 2003 farse were many but certainly having had the experience and in all honesty, from reading past BE posts and 'chatting' with BE members who have made the move ... successfully or not ... has brought a huge amount of personal clarity for me ... which is, although I didn't realise when I joined BE, what I had been looking for ...

That's perhaps something those members on the 'If you had your time again ...' thread might bear in mind i.e. some of us join and ask a 'seemingly' stupid (or previously answered) question which is a million miles away from were we end up due to the patient intereaction of members ... so thank you to all who have taken the time especially in relation to my original thread 'Thinkin of the Island ... again' which has transformed from a daft (in hindsight) question about 'where is a nice place to live' to something that (on this post) has suddenly lit up the lightbuld and perhaps given me a really important personal insight that may make all the difference next time ??

So what have I leant / had clarified ...?

1. I think my OH and I had different objectives in 2003 and we had, naively, assumed they were the same and as a result never really talked them through ...

The OH is Canadian and having spent 9 / 10 years in the UK saw this as 'going home' ... for my part yes it was about 'emigrating' but it had nothing to do with her family nor (subconsciously at least) about it being 'forever' i.e. as far as I was concerned we were moving to Vancouver for a undefined 'trial period' but if it wasn't working out going back to the UK was always an option ..so finding that her heart lay in Kelowna was a shock ...

2. Speaking for the OH (I know she'll read this) she now knows her family is now secondary to our own (for what its worth I've learnt the same lesson) and in addition I've also learnt that were her familiy (and Canada in general) very quickly became the 'other man' in 2003 i.e. they became my competition in terms of where her loyalty (and hense all the negative comparisons to the UK) thay are actually there to help and that comparisons to the UK are neither worthwhile or healthy ...

3. As Butch put it ... there needs to be a 'pull' not just a 'push' - hense the research on our other thread and the time and money were putting into our reccie in August ... its an investment.

4. This time we won't burn our bridges i.e. 2003 was full-on emigration - I quit the job, sold the house, exchanged the money etc. ... to much 'perminence' to that approach - at least for me ...

We need to make sure that we both understand that it is what it is ... an 'experienec / adventure' for us and our kids ... yes we need to go to work and earn a crust but seeing this is an opportunity to travel, to meet new people, do new things and experience another way of life / lifestyle will go a long way to making the 'trip' less stressful and a lot more enjoyable ... ultimately therefore it is more likely to convice us that Canada coudl provide an alternative long-term home for us ???

5. Lastly, and personally perhaps most importantly (and frighteningly this has only just occured to me) is that I have a tendancy to take life (and my responsibilities) very seriously (sometimes to the detriment of those living around me) i.e.are we paying off the mortage, are we saving for a pension, are we saving for the kids education etc. ... maybe I just need to take a step back from that for a year or so and do something different ...???

I know all of that stuff is still important (and yes I'll still need to earn a living to pay the bills) but for some reason I think I could 'chillout' on Vancouver Island (based on taking a 'just 12 months off the treadmill') in a way I couldn't do in the UK ... and that might perhaps be the graetest thing that could come form the experience ... a new outlook on life no matter where we end up living.

Does that make any sense????

Comments welcomed ???

Andy