Miss Clinique

I came here a couple of months before my 56th birthday. I left behind grown up daughters and grandchildren. There is not a day goes by that I dont regret the decision to come here, and leave the little people behind. I will never ever get back the years I have lost watching my grandchildren grow up. Skype / face time is a wonderful thing, but its not the same as holding them or giving them a cuddle. I am lucky enough to be able to go back 3-4 times a year, but it doesnt make it any easier. My daughters miss out on having a mum to help out with baby sitting etc, and I am wracked with guilty when I know they are struggling to cope with out my support.

I have been unable to get a job here despite having a senior management role in the UK for over 20yrs.

The cold winters take their toll as you get older.

If you are young people coming to Canada, bring your family with you, or will be starting a family here then in my opinion it is far easier.

Jerseygirl

dbd33

I dunno about this staying where you are to be near your children, they may move on at any moment leaving you wishing you'd taken the chance to be in Ibiza or Mexico or Canada. Still less do I grasp trailing around the world after them; I assume mine grew up and emigrated, at least in part, because they wanted to define their own lives. I don't think they'd thank me for setting up next door.

I don't think any age is too old to try something and I think people should act independently of their adult children. The one caution I'd raise is that older Canadians, if they have any money, don't live year round in Canada; there's probably a good reason for that.

Theoldfields

That's a really sad story. What was it that made you want to go to Canada in the first place? If you regret it everyday and travel back so often why don't you just return?

cinderela

If i were in your situation. I would stay at home with wife and child.

Oink

What aout Spain? With the glut of unsold housing you can pick a place up on the cheap and you can still go out for a Sunday roast and do the bingo on Tuesday.

MillieF

If you don't leave the UK, what will she be doing? Is she working now, and spending lots of time with your children? I hardly think that 54 is exactly the right age for considering Heaven's waiting room! I have just arrived in Canada myself and am certainly no spring chicken, that being said my reasons for coming were different and my family came with me. I needed knocking out of my comfort zone, and am, most days, welcoming the challenges I'm facing.

About two years ago my husband and I sat down and had a huge month long conversation, about the what's, why's and if's....it was most uncomfortable and stripped away a lot of the stuff that we had previously taken for granted. We ended up in Canada - but at least we now both feel that we are paddling in the same direction. It might be that you both just need that conversation and who knows where you may end up? Best of luck.

Miss Clinique

It was a business decision that bought us to Canada. I always knew it would only be for a few years, I thought I would be fine with it, got caught up in the excitement of something new, something different. Thought its only for a few years I will be fine - benefit of hindsight eh. I get on with life here, I am not sitting at home feeling sorry for my self. My grandchildren came over last year for the whole of the summer holiday, which was good quality time with them, that perhaps I wouldnt get if I lived in the UK. This year I am hoping that they can all come again, without their Mum's, more fun without Mum being there to tell nanny what she can and cant allow them to get away with. I wanted the OP to see things from perhaps his wife's/womans point of view. I think Mum's have a different relationship than Dads with their children, I am not saying one loves or cares for them more than the other, its just different. I wanted the OP to see what he may face with his wife a few years down the road if they come here, it can put a strain on a relationship. Like I said, I am lucky ,can pop back when I feel the need for a real cuddle rather than a virtual one, but I am aware that may not be possible for everyone.

MarylandNed

Jesus! Why don't you just go home?

Jerseygirl

That's not very nice is it?

It's not always that easy...if it was I'd have gone home 16 years ago.

Novocastrian

+1. And I'd also wonder if this is the longest thread ever started by a one post poster who never came back?

Terry68

Thank you all for your input. It has given us both a lot to think about. once again thank you.

Theoldfields

Thanks for taking the time to reply - it makes perfect sense to me ( not that that matters ) now. I hope you have a good visit this summer and can still pop back when it suits you.

Sally Redux

I'm back living with my Dad.

~Jesus.