Hi all.
I am new in here. I have been through a serious hard time in the last 2 months.
Left Uk at the end of January and moved to Hungary (my wife original country)for a month setting up our final move to Vancouver.
I am actually already here with my 5yrs old lab awaiting for my wife and baby daughter (17 months) to arrive next week.
I am living in a half empty house (most furniture are on their way from uk but having delay doing to port congestion and etc...) and I find very hard to get used to the new place.
I came over in the end of february and in a week( I know someone will hate me)I did secure the property and a good job. I must not complain on it as my commute is 10 minutes walking door to door which is great compared on my St.Albans - Notting Hill daily sweaty expensive and exhausting commuting but I miss England so much.
I am scared I didn't make a good call when decided to go and I am scared I made a huge mistake for the sake of my family, especially my daughter.
We got a lovely life in England but felt I would make it better here as I always LOVED Vancouver and Canada.
well, at this precise moment I hate this. I can't see positivism in myself and in the city itself.
I thought people would have been much more friendly (having a dog should have helped) but not. In a month or so that I am here I still haven't met any neighbour and I haven't basically see anybody entertaining each other like it was on my old lovely St. Albans.
I feel I am homesick. The latest weather it's obviously not an help ans seeing my family in Hungary enjoying makes me feel that something is not right.
I would like to give myself time and understand better the city but all I think is missing my shops, my pubs, my friends...everything.

Please share with me your thought...I am sure it could help.

I am thankful for what I have and I consider myself lucky enough to make this experience but since we have a daughter is a fight or flight response situation.

Have a great day!

You've pretty much summed up what most new arrivals go through. Also, harder without family. I went through a similar situation 20+ years ago, it helped I was going back and forth to the UK though.

Not sure the 'better life here' will pan out, your life is what you make it. It will be different though. We have a different life here, that suits us. For many takes around 3 years to feel settled and 10 to feel like a fixture. One just has to stick it out. I hear of few who stick it out and regret it, well I have heard of none. I guess the others all quit and went back to wherever. The emotional turmoil is hard, but not insurmountable for most.

End of the day, it is about personal choices and determination to do what one feels is right for them. If I had to give any suggestions, it would be stick it out to get citizenship, enough time to know if it is for you and once you have citizenship, you have way more options.

Want to meet folks and make friends, join clubs, or groups and get involved. We joined a new MC club last year, got involved in running it now we know them all (and they talk to us)! In our street, after 20 years, we know very few, no more than a passing nod if we see them. Just the way it is.

Go back to England trust me.

Because your family is not with you. You are going through a tough time and also its not the best time of the year, weather wise. Things will improve. I have only visited Vancouver so my knowledge of the city is limited.
Moved to Toronto from London UK 26 years ago. I enjoy living in the Greater Toronto Area. I have kept in touch with the UK with regular visits only 7-8 hour flight time.
Your first target is to get to the citizenship stage, then you can reconsider your decision. If you reach the three year target then most likely you will remain in Canada. Immerse your self in your family life and work, and you wont have too much time to miss UK.
Good luck.

It's currently 4 years as a PR in Canada for citizenship. It might change for the OP, but just FYI it's no longer 3 years.

OP you need to hang in there and go through the adjustment process.

My husband came to Canada without us to begin with and had to live alone for a long long time before we came for good. He's the loner type (so did lots of hiking and biking) but I know he really struggled with the loneliness​. He joined a local table tennis club not because it's a big thing with him but just a regular place to go, play a sport and chat to people.

He sees homesickness positively even now 7 years later. He's not engulfed by it but it comes to many of us in waves even years later. You are experiencing culture shock which is a normal, recognized process. It has specific stages. My guess is that you are in Stage 2 where you are often comparing everything (negatively) to your previous life.

You've just gone through a massive upheaval. It takes time. Go to IKEA and get some cheap and cheerful bits to help with your home.

If you want a chat about it PM me. I'm sure Mr Snowy could provide some friendly words for you. I'm also sure others of us in Vancouver will chime in too.

You've managed to land in a good situation in Vancouver, with housing and employment already well sorted. You'll probably find that most Vancouverites are envious of your situation, let alone people who are new to the continent!

As others have said, just hang in there. One of the toughest realizations that people face is that moving halfway around the world isn't guaranteed to result in living in a utopia. The only thing that's guaranteed is that there will be things that are different. The challenge is how you go from perceiving those differences as negatives, to perceiving those differences as just different. Driving on the left is not better or worse than driving on the right - it's just different. In your particular case, working through the process is going to be even more important, as your wife is likely going to go through the same challenges/experiences when she arrives. Both of you going through the adjustment / homesick / missing family cycle at the same time could compound things. The fact that you have a young daughter will make things easier, as kids > dogs for social interaction

There have been a few threads here about Canadian friendliness that you can browse through, and without rehashing all the discussion, my experience has been that, especially in the larger cities, 'friendly' perhaps isn't the best adjective. I tend to think more 'amicable' or 'respectful' is more apt. I think people you've met / coworkers understand that you're trying to process a lot of things at the moment, and their natural inclination may be to stand back and let you work through the 'administrative' stuff, without feeling the need to necessarily put social pressures on you as well.

You may find you have to take the initiative on breaking the ice. Not sure what your work environment is like, but one suggestion might be to invite a bunch of people you work with out for lunch / after work get together (everyone pays their own way however). Since your family background is Hungarian, going to a Hungarian (or British) restaurant in the city gives openings for conversation topics that some of your coworkers might be cautious of broaching (because it might seem disrespectful), like talking about differences in 'Hungarian' cuisine in Canada versus what you grew up eating. (It should be noted that these conversations won't help with the homesickness). It's different than going out to one of the 7 chain restaurants in Canada and complaining about your boss

Even if people don't accept the initial invitation, I think it does send out a signal that you're amenable to those social activities, and you may get more invitations. Once your wife and daughter come over, you're likely going to have less free time in the evenings/weekends, or that you'll likely be spending more time with couples/young families rather than making 'individual' connections.

As others have said, if you play sports, that's a good opportunity to meet some people in the city - there should be a number of drop-in / meet-up / pick-up sports in the Vancouver area throughout the year, and there's usually a few people who will go out for beverages afterwards.

You mentioned that you are here with your dog, I have found dog owners to be extremely friendly. In fact I would go as far as to say dog owners are the friendliest people I have ever met. They love chatting to strangers while their dogs play.

It may sound like a weird place to meet people but I am a regular at a dog park and you'd be surprised how many newbies we chat to. You may not make any lasting friends but they can definitely offer advice and give you local knowledge of what to do, where to go etc. Plus it gets you out the house chatting to people and you can knacker your dog out at the same time.

Just remember to bring bags and pick up after your dog. We have a poo nazi at my park, woe betide anyone who doesn't pick up when she is on patrol.

Dog off-leash areas | City of Vancouver

Good luck and welcome to the Forum.

Did not know the rules had changed, since I obtained citizenship long time ago.

I second this! We moved over about 4 years ago and three days after arriving my husband was sent to Washington DC for work. Having to take the dog out was a godsend. I made friends with some folks at the dog park who I still keep in contact with even though i moved away from downtown Vancouver.

It can be tough, especially when you are waiting for family and furniture to catch up, but the weather will get better which means you can be more sociable!
Hang in there, life is certainly different to St Albans, coming from someone who moved over from neighbouring Harpenden!

Thank you all for your kind messages.
You all gave me such a power and good will.
I know, will just need to wait few days more and then I will get all my family back (and mother in law for a month which is a good thing food wise )!
I know it's all about settling right and else but it has been a huge impact and I did't expect it like that.

I am sure I will get used to, it's just funny how you miss things that before (back in UK) where just ordinary and nothing special. I would pay to have back my morning chat with Milk Man about footie or so.

I agree with all of you about having dog = chatting with dog owners but so far, I found it really hard. I have been walking my dog daily 2-3 times a week and in fairness I haven't seen so many people willing to socialise. I am living near Douglas Park and supposed to be family orientated... I think it's just about giving time. I am sure it will change but being close at an On Leash Park doesn't help.

I will try to get into tennis or running clubs or footie and see how things will turn. I am sure that once my wife will socialise with other mums it will get just easier.

I wanted to thank again all of you for the kind words.
I feel more than welcome here!

Welcome to Vancouver!

You are living in a lovely area, and lucky to find a house there so quickly.

We've lived in the city for 49 years, and love it.

However, it can hard to make new friends whenever you move to a new city, and yes, I would agree with Ebonhawke that people here could be classed more as amenable than very friendly. It didn't used to be like that, but it is now ............. you may have noticed that many houses or condos are not being lived in, or they keep their drapes closed all day every day.

It seems never to have been a place where people just popped next door ....... our neighbours and ourselves have always phoned with invitations for morning coffee, or to say "may I come over to talk to you" etc. They have very rarely appeared on the door step, apart from one elderly Italian gentleman (and the word is used advisedly) who would wander over with an official letter and ask one of us to explain the contents to him. We have lived in the same house for 45 years, and still have some of the same neighbours. We all chat warmly when we meet on the street, sometimes phone each other with local news, but we don't spend a lot of time in each other's pockets ........... we all have our own families, friends and interests.

I think that can be quite different from what may happen in England, although I didn't notice the difference because my parents had never been ones to visit with those next door or even up the street. They kept themselves to themselves.

One place that you will find friendly is the local children's playground ....... we took our visiting 3 year old grandson to one near us, and were promptly greeted and then quizzed by regulars as to where we lived and who the boy was. They welcomed us on our visit the next day ....... and I'm sure we would have chatted warmly if he had stayed for longer.

Joining a club is a great idea ........ even going to a local church would have a welcome for you They usually have 1 or 2 people who will immediately spot a newcomer. Even if you are not religious, it's a place to meet some people.


I am surprised that the doggie people have not been more friendly with you ........ we don't have a dog, but I watch the dog walkers around, and they are always smiling.

Try smiling at people first, see if that helps.



and the weather has been the pits for weeks, so that is not helping

There is an off-leash area in Queen Elizabeth park which is not far away. I agree with others that it is very easy to get chatting at an off-leash park. You have ready made ice breakers and no one minds being told that they have a good looking dog.

From today's guardian

Is Vancouver lonelier than most cities or just better about addressing it?

I haven't read the link (don't have time at the moment), but ........

Vancouver certainly is a city of immigrants, always has been, probably always will be. There have been waves of immigrants from other countries going right back to the 1800s

........... and many of them have always been second language English, which doesn't help.

I have noticed that the speed with which non-English speaking immigrants into our neighbourhood learn to speak English has decreased over the years ............... in other words, more of them are not learning English. That means that often the only welcome you will get as you pass in the street or store will be a nod and a smile, and probably not even that if they are young.

The older ones seem willing, but it is harder to learn a new language as you age, and English is very difficult.

All I do is put myself forward ............. I smile and say hello as we pass, and I usually get a response.


Also ....... don't forget those abominable hand-held "objects"

More and more people, especially those under 50, walk around with their heads down and staring at something in their hand. I don't think they even notice if they walk on some doggy-do left on the street by a dog owner so obsessed with another hand-held thing that he or she did not notice that doggy had left a present.