Hard Making Friends?
 

I have noticed quite a few comments in various threads that folks find it hard to make friends and Canadian's don't get British humour or 'Sarcasm'.

As immigrants to another country, are we expecting friends to come to us, rather than getting involved in the community and getting to know like minded folk?

What should one do in order to develop a circle of friends?

If one is using sarcasm; which by definition is not really funny or banter, but the use of remarks that clearly mean the opposite of what they say, made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticise something in a ​humerous way. This may not be the intent, but that is what sarcasm really is. Is it any wonder making friends is hard and Canadians don't get it. Perhaps it is us that doesn't get it?

In an order to make friends should one adapt more to the Canadian way and drop the 'British' style?

Some Canadians get droll banter, most from my experience either think we are completely nuts, or just rude.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Well that's cleared it up. :thumbup:

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

I personally find the Canadian sense of humour - once the formality has been dropped - to be not dissimilar to the UK sense of humour. I can honestly say we haven't had any trouble making friends with families and individuals here at all. If anything, we find it hard to keep up with the social thing rather than seeking it out. I guess as we get older we're just as happy to sit by the crackling wood burner with a few glasses of wine and watch Midsomer Murder. We were invited to a beach bonfire and BBQ on New Year's Eve that we really couldn't face; and there we another three or four invites that we politely said we were double booked already! We still found ourselves going to at least 3 social gatherings each week of the holidays, dinner, "drinkies" etc. In fact we had friends over for Christmas Day and more on Boxing Day. I fully admit, however, a good proportion of this comes from people with kids of similar age and also good friends with very local neighbours in surrounding houses.I wouldn't say they were all close friends by any means, but for us that's fine. As the years roll by, my personal "close friends" back in the UK and myself have less contact with each other. But that's fine. I find these things ebb and flow like the tide. Of the handful of "close friends" I would consider from my youth etc, at least 50% now live abroad like me. New York, New Zealand, Canada, France, Germany, Arizona, UAE.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

I do find two factors that helped me, being a miserable git and anti social. Puts one at a significant advantage.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Works for me too.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

People suck, especially other people. :thumbdown:

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Ha ha these last 3 posts sum me up perfectly, being an only child I am happy in my own company, hence why I like sitting alone in my car doing surveillance I guess. I do have friends, I find a once a year visit for 10 mins and a cup of tea just about makes me a sociable recluse. :@)

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

"I like sitting alone in my car doing surveillance".

Where does one start with that?:unsure:

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Indeed. :blink:
I'm hoping this behaviour is in a professional capacity rather than as a 'hobby'.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

I think the jury's still out on that. :lol:

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

:lol: Friends? Ah yes, I remember, those are the people who know me by my real name - which is of course "the English guy"...

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Keep you friends close but your enemies closer

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

Been there. We have a couple of franco neighbours and we know them quite well. I found out not long ago that they refer to me as L'Anglais.

The one I really hate is the Quebec use of the word "chum". It basically means partner or boyfriend. Over Xmas, my niece introduced me to her boyfriend as her aunt's "chum". She got pulled up pretty fast on that one.

"I'm not her chum. I'm her f*****g husband!"

Not to worry. She doesn't like me anyway. Until, of course, she wants me to fix her English homework. Then she likes me lots.

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

I'm not overly fond of that quebecism either. However I REALLY detest "sa/ta blonde": I'm NOT a blonde :thumbdown:

Re: Hard Making Friends?
 

I just ignore that one.