Five years, lots of changes
#1
Thread Starter
Forum Regular




Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 281



It is just over 5 years since my wife and son landed here in Manitoba- they arrived a month after me.
So much has happened. My wife was very sick by the end of the first year with cancer, then had all sorts of trouble after that, and sadly passed away last month. I know that you know this already, probably.
I wish to say thanks for the card and the wishes, first of all. I was really touched by that.
Here's the thing, though. I read of people going back for one reason or another, and I have to admit that it dismays me really. See, the support I received from my local community has been utterly outstanding and awe inspiring. I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I would not have received anywhere near as much support and kindness were I in the UK. And you should remember that I lived in the same area for my entire life and know I would not have been looked after this well.
I have been asked on numerous occasions if I will be taking my son home. My answer is simple...
We already are home. This is home.
Those of you going back, I wish you well, and I hope you find what you are looking for back there. Personally, they would have to drag me out of here by force, and I wouldn't go quietly.
So much has happened. My wife was very sick by the end of the first year with cancer, then had all sorts of trouble after that, and sadly passed away last month. I know that you know this already, probably.
I wish to say thanks for the card and the wishes, first of all. I was really touched by that.
Here's the thing, though. I read of people going back for one reason or another, and I have to admit that it dismays me really. See, the support I received from my local community has been utterly outstanding and awe inspiring. I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I would not have received anywhere near as much support and kindness were I in the UK. And you should remember that I lived in the same area for my entire life and know I would not have been looked after this well.
I have been asked on numerous occasions if I will be taking my son home. My answer is simple...
We already are home. This is home.
Those of you going back, I wish you well, and I hope you find what you are looking for back there. Personally, they would have to drag me out of here by force, and I wouldn't go quietly.
#2
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,007
From: Near Colchester, Essex hoping to go to Port Moody, BC











I am so, so sorry for your loss and can't imagine what you and your family have been through. Your post is uplifting and inspirational and brought a tear to my eye. I wish you and your boys all the very best for your future in Canada. Hugs.
#3
I agree with Singingringingtree's post.
I'm so glad you and your son were supported through your difficult time, and continue to be, by the wonderful people around you. I wish you both all the best for the future.
Maggie
I'm so glad you and your son were supported through your difficult time, and continue to be, by the wonderful people around you. I wish you both all the best for the future.
Maggie
#4
Thread Starter
Forum Regular




Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 281



Thanks..
My neighbour just came around and we went to pay for the funeral this morning.. See, the school and churches here knew that my wife was not eligible for the CPP payment, and they knew I had to take time off after she died which was unpaid, so they collected the money for the funeral. I was amazed and astounded by this. My Brit attitude didn't want to accept the kindness, but I was bullied into it because people really wanted to help out.
Something else. A week after Janey died, I went to the yard to see what would happen workwise. I had it all planned out that I could largely go on as normal until September. I had no sooner walked in and they gave me a city job, home every night and every weekend. Yes, I will take a hit on my income, but they are throwing as much overtime at me now while I have my MIL here, and I am on the ice roads starting next week so things should be ok.
And 4 people from the office left work early on the day of the funeral to attend the memorial. They drove from Winnipeg to the service then had to drive back, and we had a snowstorm all that day. Even our own Gremmie came along (and argued Theology with the Pastor)
It just seems that people care a lot more here than they did in the UK. I got asked again this morning if I was going to move back...
Still nope!
My neighbour just came around and we went to pay for the funeral this morning.. See, the school and churches here knew that my wife was not eligible for the CPP payment, and they knew I had to take time off after she died which was unpaid, so they collected the money for the funeral. I was amazed and astounded by this. My Brit attitude didn't want to accept the kindness, but I was bullied into it because people really wanted to help out.
Something else. A week after Janey died, I went to the yard to see what would happen workwise. I had it all planned out that I could largely go on as normal until September. I had no sooner walked in and they gave me a city job, home every night and every weekend. Yes, I will take a hit on my income, but they are throwing as much overtime at me now while I have my MIL here, and I am on the ice roads starting next week so things should be ok.
And 4 people from the office left work early on the day of the funeral to attend the memorial. They drove from Winnipeg to the service then had to drive back, and we had a snowstorm all that day. Even our own Gremmie came along (and argued Theology with the Pastor)

It just seems that people care a lot more here than they did in the UK. I got asked again this morning if I was going to move back...
Still nope!
#6
BE Forum Addict






Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,007
From: Near Colchester, Essex hoping to go to Port Moody, BC











Thanks..
My neighbour just came around and we went to pay for the funeral this morning.. See, the school and churches here knew that my wife was not eligible for the CPP payment, and they knew I had to take time off after she died which was unpaid, so they collected the money for the funeral. I was amazed and astounded by this. My Brit attitude didn't want to accept the kindness, but I was bullied into it because people really wanted to help out.
Something else. A week after Janey died, I went to the yard to see what would happen workwise. I had it all planned out that I could largely go on as normal until September. I had no sooner walked in and they gave me a city job, home every night and every weekend. Yes, I will take a hit on my income, but they are throwing as much overtime at me now while I have my MIL here, and I am on the ice roads starting next week so things should be ok.
And 4 people from the office left work early on the day of the funeral to attend the memorial. They drove from Winnipeg to the service then had to drive back, and we had a snowstorm all that day. Even our own Gremmie came along (and argued Theology with the Pastor)
It just seems that people care a lot more here than they did in the UK. I got asked again this morning if I was going to move back...
Still nope!
My neighbour just came around and we went to pay for the funeral this morning.. See, the school and churches here knew that my wife was not eligible for the CPP payment, and they knew I had to take time off after she died which was unpaid, so they collected the money for the funeral. I was amazed and astounded by this. My Brit attitude didn't want to accept the kindness, but I was bullied into it because people really wanted to help out.
Something else. A week after Janey died, I went to the yard to see what would happen workwise. I had it all planned out that I could largely go on as normal until September. I had no sooner walked in and they gave me a city job, home every night and every weekend. Yes, I will take a hit on my income, but they are throwing as much overtime at me now while I have my MIL here, and I am on the ice roads starting next week so things should be ok.
And 4 people from the office left work early on the day of the funeral to attend the memorial. They drove from Winnipeg to the service then had to drive back, and we had a snowstorm all that day. Even our own Gremmie came along (and argued Theology with the Pastor)

It just seems that people care a lot more here than they did in the UK. I got asked again this morning if I was going to move back...
Still nope!
#7
Forum Regular

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 43











So incredibly sorry to hear of your loss. However I am glad to see that you have experienced the kindness and graciousness of the Canadian community around you.
#8
Forum Regular



Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 114
From: Back in England








It is just over 5 years since my wife and son landed here in Manitoba- they arrived a month after me.
So much has happened. My wife was very sick by the end of the first year with cancer, then had all sorts of trouble after that, and sadly passed away last month. I know that you know this already, probably.
I wish to say thanks for the card and the wishes, first of all. I was really touched by that.
Here's the thing, though. I read of people going back for one reason or another, and I have to admit that it dismays me really. See, the support I received from my local community has been utterly outstanding and awe inspiring. I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I would not have received anywhere near as much support and kindness were I in the UK. And you should remember that I lived in the same area for my entire life and know I would not have been looked after this well.
I have been asked on numerous occasions if I will be taking my son home. My answer is simple...
We already are home. This is home.
Those of you going back, I wish you well, and I hope you find what you are looking for back there. Personally, they would have to drag me out of here by force, and I wouldn't go quietly.
So much has happened. My wife was very sick by the end of the first year with cancer, then had all sorts of trouble after that, and sadly passed away last month. I know that you know this already, probably.
I wish to say thanks for the card and the wishes, first of all. I was really touched by that.
Here's the thing, though. I read of people going back for one reason or another, and I have to admit that it dismays me really. See, the support I received from my local community has been utterly outstanding and awe inspiring. I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I would not have received anywhere near as much support and kindness were I in the UK. And you should remember that I lived in the same area for my entire life and know I would not have been looked after this well.
I have been asked on numerous occasions if I will be taking my son home. My answer is simple...
We already are home. This is home.
Those of you going back, I wish you well, and I hope you find what you are looking for back there. Personally, they would have to drag me out of here by force, and I wouldn't go quietly.
#9
Thread Starter
Forum Regular




Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 281



What a lovely thing to say, Noreen..
It seems that being quite happy to pull a stranger out of the ditch at -20 on Christmas morning, or going to a neighbours house at 2am to deal with a raccoon for them, has repercussions that you don't anticipate.
I have found a wonderful community. Our friends come and plough the drive if I am away, or they did.. Now I will be able to do that for them, won't I..?
And I will do that. None of the these things faze me, but the kindness has astounded me and touched me deeply. I feel I am part of the community and that works both ways.
It seems that being quite happy to pull a stranger out of the ditch at -20 on Christmas morning, or going to a neighbours house at 2am to deal with a raccoon for them, has repercussions that you don't anticipate.
I have found a wonderful community. Our friends come and plough the drive if I am away, or they did.. Now I will be able to do that for them, won't I..?
And I will do that. None of the these things faze me, but the kindness has astounded me and touched me deeply. I feel I am part of the community and that works both ways.
#10
So sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. It sounds as though you live in a great community.
#11
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 487
From: Ottawa











I'm stunned and saddened by the loss of your wife and your son's mother. I cried and don't even know you and have never met you but its obvious you and your family have made a big impact on those you shared your new life with.
I pray your future holds only good things and that your burden has been eased with the generosity of those that care for you.
Please be careful on the roads (especially the ice road job) and that every trip brings you home safely to your son.
God bless xx
I pray your future holds only good things and that your burden has been eased with the generosity of those that care for you.
Please be careful on the roads (especially the ice road job) and that every trip brings you home safely to your son.
God bless xx
#12
Thread Starter
Forum Regular




Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 281



Thankyou.. I am optimistic in general, although the loss still beats me around the head many times a day. I imagine that is only to be expected.
I never consciously tried to make any sort of impression, but maybe I did. People are so good it is almost too much to take. The freezer is full of foods brought by the wonderful people. We had a constant stream of people coming by, and families lend their kids to keep Junior amused.
I never consciously tried to make any sort of impression, but maybe I did. People are so good it is almost too much to take. The freezer is full of foods brought by the wonderful people. We had a constant stream of people coming by, and families lend their kids to keep Junior amused.
#13
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,834
From: Maryland (via Belfast, Manchester, Toronto and London)











So sorry to hear of your loss. Your wife lives on through your son. He's a piece of her and you. Good luck to you both.
#14
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,854
From: A Briton, married to a Canadian, now in Fredericton.











Bobthedog, you have had me snivelling all over my PC.
You reap what you sow, and you have evidently sown the seeds of friendship and kindness and given your spirit to the community that you live in. You and your son have each other, and your happy memories of having spent the last years together with your wife, forging a new life together. She would be so proud of you both now.
'Home' is the strangest of words, and can't ever be linked to a passport. You have made your home, and found your sense of belonging.
I know your story will come back to me, and I will remember your warmth and spirit of optimism. I'm so glad that the community that has had the luck to have you living amongst them recognises and appreciates you.
Bless you both
You reap what you sow, and you have evidently sown the seeds of friendship and kindness and given your spirit to the community that you live in. You and your son have each other, and your happy memories of having spent the last years together with your wife, forging a new life together. She would be so proud of you both now.
'Home' is the strangest of words, and can't ever be linked to a passport. You have made your home, and found your sense of belonging.
I know your story will come back to me, and I will remember your warmth and spirit of optimism. I'm so glad that the community that has had the luck to have you living amongst them recognises and appreciates you.
Bless you both
#15
Just Joined

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 26
From: Kent uk

So very sorry to hear your loss, but so very pleased you have found a supportive community! good luck to you both, take care and god bless......



