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Easiest way in making new friends?

Easiest way in making new friends?

Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:23 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Shard View Post
Welcome Pete. There's actually a ton of stuff on BE about this very issue. The summary is 3 months is far too short a time in which to expect to make friends. 2 years + is more likely.
Thanks for the welcome.

Yep, just been reading some other threads and can see its a common problem.

I suspect she is going to have to get involved in a volunteer group so its a long term thing as joining courses and so forth will only lead to the same experience she just had. The problem comes when I disappear off for work for a week at a time leaving her on her own staring at 4 walls all day.

Crazy really - we both thought the tough bit would be the weather and missing family and friends. Sure we are missing people in the UK but the lack of social contact is the worst bit, even though we did not go out much before we moved We now realise that those chats over the garden fence, the occassional bbq and a few beers meant a lot.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:26 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Pete S View Post
Thanks for the welcome.

Yep, just been reading some other threads and can see its a common problem.

I suspect she is going to have to get involved in a volunteer group so its a long term thing as joining courses and so forth will only lead to the same experience she just had. The problem comes when I disappear off for work for a week at a time leaving her on her own staring at 4 walls all day.

Crazy really - we both thought the tough bit would be the weather and missing family and friends. Sure we are missing people in the UK but the lack of social contact is the worst bit, even though we did not go out much before we moved We now realise that those chats over the garden fence, the occassional bbq and a few beers meant a lot.
Well you'll get there if you want to. Definitely a good idea to get involved in various volunteering activities, but choose wisely with the end goal (more friends) in mind.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:30 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Shard View Post
Well you'll get there if you want to. Definitely a good idea to get involved in various volunteering activities, but choose wisely with the end goal (more friends) in mind.
Good point LOL
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:33 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

I've been here 6 years and haven't made what I would call a best friend / good friend. I have lots of friend friends but no-one is like 'me' if that makes sense.

You only find those people as you are growing up / develop together. Nigh on impossible to find as an adult especially in a different country.

Not overly fussed, it's one of the downsides of having an otherwise perfect life!

Plus theres always BE and FB to moan on when you need a girly let rip!
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 3:12 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

lol ive been in toronto since 2007 i have 4 friends now. Im sort of outgoing and it sure did take time getting these friends. I live in an apartment and i used to smoke so these were my smoking buddies as such. Now that i dont smoke i rarely see them unless they want something hahaha. i bought a dog and now speak to the doggie world. Torontarians seem to accept anyone who has a dog and will speak to you. Lots meet up for walks and things so if you like walking and dont mind four legged animals try a dog.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Read all the posts with interest.

I have been lucky having moved around the UK contract working for a number of years.
Doesn't really matter where you are finding friends just takes time and if am honest its down to us the strangers to try and fit in.
Cheers Pete
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:07 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

This has probably been mentioned somewhere in the previous pages? Otehr ways include finding a hobby group/club e.g. photography, running, craft etc

If you have kids, play dates with other parents from school is also another avenue, but you do have to approach them i.e. initiate a chinwag...if you are the type that is reserved, it ain't going to happen.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:16 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Sign up for a couple of things on this:

http://www.torontossc.com/

Also haul your arse down to your local bar.

Apologies I should have got involved on this thread sooner.

Last edited by JamesM; Dec 4th 2013 at 2:25 pm.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:22 pm
  #39  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
It's Canada, people don't socialize the same way we do back home. Canada's always been a nation of immigrations, with new cultures, all with their own ways of socializing. Because of this, there is no established socialization code like the UK. Different cultures do things differently.

And yet generally speaking, people don't do dinner parties regularly, I've found. It's not the norm. People go to pubs to meet up with their already-established networks, and then they go home. The pubs aren't the same, and you're only going to fail if you try to socialize like you would in the UK, in Canada. My one piece of advice is to have no expectations. It's a rare thing to be invited out to a home in Canada, I've found... unless you're considered a good friend. That's just the way it is.

Saying that, I've met friends through my significant other (a cradle who works in the video game industry - a very international group!), but strangely, I've met most of my own friends through local social media groups, or online communities such as these.

For example, I love photography, and I've connected with local amateur photographers through Twitter (yes, laugh), but I've found it a great way to connect and make things happen. I've met a lot of like-minded people because of it. There's also a CAMRA chapter here in Vancouver, and I've met some great friends through the meetups. Also, through Twitter I've been introduced to #YVRBeerTweetup - a monthly meetup of fellow craft beer enthusiasts. We meet at a different pub every month. You tend to see the same people at each meet, yet new ones are always arriving, so you get to immerse yourself in the local community, meet new people, have fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend, maybe not. No expectations.

It helps that Vancouver is a transient city, which I imagine Toronto must be as well. Everyone is from somewhere else in Vancouver, being new isn't a novelty, and everyone's in the same boat. This can be, I've noticed, a double edged sword. On the one hand, everyone is new/born somewhere else, so they have no established social circles. On the other hand, because everyone is new/born somewhere else, they tend to socialize with the people from their home country/city/province, etc. because it's the easiest thing to do. But then cliques form, which typically works against both parties. For example, everyone in Vancouver it seems, if they're originally from Edmonton, all their friends here also happen to be from Edmonton, even though they probably didn't even know each other in Edmonton. If they're from Ontario, or the US, or England, etc. It's the same thing.

I imagine Toronto must be the same.

Edit: A former Vancouverite, originally from Mexico, Jorge Amigo (yes, his real name) recently moved to Toronto. He felt that Vancouver wasn't a friendly city, that it was hard to make friends. He created an event called #bemyamigo to bring strangers together and socialize. Apparently he's starting it up in Toronto. There you go!

https://www.facebook.com/bemyamigo
http://www.vancouversun.com/Amigo+de...456/story.html

Pubs in Toronto are full of people who want to get out the house and socialise.

I play golf with locals from my pub all the time and also get involved in other activities.

The only big difference I've found with Canada is you socialise less with work people and this is purely because people tend to drive to work and shoot off after versus having a beer and riding transit home.

I kind've like not having to socialise with work people and having wider circles.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:35 pm
  #40  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by BenBuzz View Post
Well I survived the experience! Although I did talk to some strangers and I don't *think* anyone thought I was gay...
I spend my best nights disturbing strangers in bars.

Just be careful down Jarvis street......
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 3:48 pm
  #41  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

lol why jarvis st i thought sherbourne was the no go area after 6pm
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 4:02 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by JamesM View Post
I spend my best nights disturbing strangers in bars.

Just be careful down Jarvis street......
Or Jayne and Finch.....heck even Yonge street
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Old Dec 5th 2013, 4:10 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by ultrarunner View Post
Or Jayne and Finch.....heck even Yonge street
I saw Mads Mikkelson (Le Chiffre in Casino Royale) in a dive bar by Yonge and Bloor two weeks ago. Apparently he goes there when he is in town shooting the TV series Hanibal.
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Old Dec 5th 2013, 7:15 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by JamesM View Post
I saw Mads Mikkelson (Le Chiffre in Casino Royale) in a dive bar by Yonge and Bloor two weeks ago. Apparently he goes there when he is in town shooting the TV series Hanibal.
Oh him.....quite smooth with that little scar on his face, and it will seem women dig that ala bad boy look

Did you get his autograph or is that not your thing?
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Old Dec 6th 2013, 3:40 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Sign up for something at TSSC - also known as torontos biggest meat market. Beach volleyball at Polson Peer is a hoot and normally followed by drinks afterwards.

I also just finished a Tuesday night course at UofT - $600 for a 12 week course. It's a good change of scenery and I met a few people.

I also inspired "holiday drinks" at work before the xmas break and have about 15 people up for that at the local Duke.

As a side note many Canadians say the same thing about Toronto, I know a Canadian girl who moved here from the boons and ended up having to take on the role of unofficial social coordinator at her work to try and meet people, and now has quite the crowd going
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