I offer you one further piece of advice, and this is based on my own experience as a child when my parents split up.

If you do decide to leave your husband, keep the kids out of it. By that I mean keep them away from your differences. That didn't happen with me and had both parents constantly trying to get me on their 'side', twisting this situation or that.

That resulted with me as a 10 or 11 year old standing up in court saying why I wanted to live with one parent over the other. I'm sure that wouldn't happen in a court setting nowadays, but I hope you get my point.

Regards

Chris

If you do decide to leave your husband, keep the kids out of it. By that I mean keep them away from your differences. That didn't happen with me and had both parents constantly trying to get me on their 'side', twisting this situation or that. - couldn't agree more with that

Could we ask 'why' your husband suddenly changed his mind, when it had been your original plan to move as a family - was he possibly stressed and scared? He must be facing an awful lot of changes when thinking about leaving the forces. You wouldn't be so bothered if you didn't care so much.

A few years ago my husband and I had enormous marital problems, not caused by a lack of love, but, primarily, by the fact that he has an incredibly stressful job and had been stuck in a war zone. He couldn't cope, lost his temper, with me, our son, and anyone else publicly and privately. We got help, and he got specialist counselling. Today, we are happy, and our son is happy - but it has been bloody hard getting to this point. I now have a strong marriage, and it was worth fighting for. More importantly, our son still has a mother who can cope with most things that life can throw, and a father he adores.

Is is possible you could both take a deep breath and give yourself thinking time? Sometimes these things just need a bit of time to sort themselves out? My very best of luck and hopes for your futures.

OP, I'm doing it. After 2 years of negotiating I'm taking my 12 year old to live in Canada in 3 weeks time.
My ex and I had a very nasty divorce and he tried to get residency of the three boys (my oldest are now 18 and 19 so he doesn't have a say over them). The outcome is I got it but the whole divorce process took about 3 years from start to finish.
When 2 years ago we asked him for permission to take the boys he categorically said no. We went to a solicitor and £600 and only 2 letters to him later I panicked at how much this was going to cost (I was quoted approx £3000 but already had residency - custody no longer exists)
I then waited a bit for him to get used to the idea. I did some research of my own and apparently there is an old law which is sometimes used in these situations which states that a judge will not rule against a Mother as to do so might cause her too much stress which she would then "take out" on the children so therefore the judge has to allow the move. Did not try this so no idea how well it works these days.
Anyway approx at Xmas last year we told him that he had 28 days to sign the document we had drawn up as a variation to the residency order and that otherwise we would take him to court regardless of cost. He obviously went to see a solicitor as his emails became pleasant rather than the nasty emails I received up until then and he offered to discuss this. I can only imagine that his solicitor must have mentioned this law I referred to above and suggested he try to negotiate the best deal possible with me.
After about 4 months going backwards and forwards between us - no solicitor - he signed the document we had been waiting for for so long and we're off! My son will be coming back every other xmas or easter and 2 weeks in the summer.
This was my long winded way of saying it can be done but it is a very lengthy and emotional process and unlike me, I think, you won't have a significant other to give you the support you'll need.
Saying that I can confirm that what AC said is an echo of what the solicitor said to me the first time I saw her so do be prepared for the battle of your life!!!
Good luck and PM me if I can help any further

Hi ya, what you are referring to is not a law, but some case law. The law is that you cannot lawfully remove a child from the jurisdiction without the consent of all who have parental responsibility. However, if one parent wishes to remove a child and the other parent won't agree, they can go to court, present their cases, the judge refers to the relevant case law, which is currently Payne vs Payne, where a set of criteria for deciding the case is looked at by the judge. You can find this criteria at: http://www.familylawwiki.org.uk/inde..._to_be_granted.

Now there is a misconception that the law favours the mother and the emotional distress denying her the right to leave will cause. This is a consideration, but this should and in my case was, balanced against the distress caused to the father in my case.

If you can get the father to agree, things are MUCH better. Be willing to negotiate and bend, as the damage to your financial and emotional life is extreme. I was fortunate enough to receive legal aid, but even with that I reckon my costs were near £4K. My ex husbands were well in excess of £50K. Our case went to the Court of Appeal at the Royal Courts of Justice. My ex husband was trying to overturn the initial judgement (after a four day long hearing) and change the law! There is currently a case at the European Court of Human Rights where another father is trying to change the law in the UK.

If you're determined to do it, make sure you have a strong case (like I did) and make sure you are prepared for alot of expense and distress.

Be it law or case law I don't mind. It was obviously enough in my ex's mind not to want to risk loosing contact with our son altogether which is what I was trying to put across to the OP.
at the end of the day it will also depend on who represents her on the day if it goes to court and what side of the bed the judge got out of that day!!!!

The lawyer may make a difference, but the judges nocturnal habits rarely do.

I always believe that lay people attach way to much importance on the skill of their lawyer. In most cases, it makes very little difference.

However, the Judge is all important which is why, in most cases, the lawyers watch the Judge very carefully and adjust their representations accordingly.

I only have my experience to go by but I would tend to agree with you! When going through my divorce I was told by my solicitor "oh good we have Judge Edwards". Surely they are interpreting the law the way they see it rather than applying it in the same way any other judge does?...
(Apologies to all judges reading this thread and please note my name on here is just a pseudonyme!!!)

The law for most situations is, usually, well settled. If A applies then B results, if C applies then D results, etc. If the facts enable the judge to determine whether A or C applies, then the judge has, within certain limitations, to make a finding of fact that will ensure that the result the judge believes is correct will occur. That is when the whole "Who is the judge" becomes important.

Lawyers, in the vast majority of cases, are unable to do much about the facts and, normally, it is the facts that dictate the result.

You speak like a true lawyer!