Karen

DONT DO IT !!!! DONT WITHDRAW YOUR APPLICATION

Give hubby time to come to terms with the possible move

If a year later he is still not up for it then think about it then

Dont give up your dream because your hubbie needs a kick in the b***ocks, Give him one where it hurts, a kick that is and tell him that this is what we are all doing as a family.

YOU WILL ONLY REGRET IT, WHAT IF I DID GET IN ETC ETC

Eddie

I agree with Eddie.
i would sit him down and try to find out the reasons for his apathy. As I said, my husband is very similar. Mr "laid back, if I just leave it she will sort it all out.."
every now and then I lose it with him and he does something i find that I need to be specific and tell him exactly what he needs to do and give him a timeline to do it in.
of course you know best where your man is concerned, but you may end up resenting him if you miss out on following your dreams.
Hope all works out for you.

annie and voyager,
chris wants to go and i am sure he will resent me for going ahead with this withdrawal, but it is getting tiring having to do everything.
i think applying is the easiest part, but all the organisation afterwards he will struggle with. even me mentioning clearing the loft sees it as a personal attack. last time he did clear stuff he found a 0ne pound note in a brthday card.
probably it is a bad move to withdraw. i know u are both so right!!!
k

Hi Karen - none of my business I know but please sit down and really talk this through with your hubby before making such a decision. You are a year into the process and if you did decide to reapply in the future you will have such a long wait ...... If in doubt do nowt Better that than regrets a bit further down the line. After all if you do let your application go all the way you will still get your ROLF fees back if you withdraw at a later stage.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

J

My hubby is JUST the same as Annie's. Happy to let me get on with it, I have cajoled and pushed and pulled him along to get us here. He is sitting here in the room now, and I just read some of this thread to him.......

I told him I often wondered how committed he was to coming, or if he was tagging along just to please me .... we had been through a low patch before all this happened.

I admit to being, well if not a control freak .... somebody who ... well yes maybe I am a control freak.... I find it very difficult to sit back and let people, especially my family, get there in their own sweet time! ... and (he says) he saw how much I was enjoying spending hours on researching everything, and I'd always tell him or drag him over to look at anything interesting I found. So he let me get on with it.

I'd just worry, like the others, that if you withdraw now, having got this far, that it will become something that will fester between you.

I feel like it is really none of my business to say so, but it's easy to opine on these forums.

I hope things work out, whatever you do, and if you carry on with it, don't forget there's lots of support and encouragement to be had here if old lazy-sticks at home can't be ar#ed!

ps. I was REALLY concerned about how my family would manage without me for about 2 months after we landed, and I went back to the UK to be earning mortgage money while we sold the house.

I didn't think they could possibly exist that long without me here telling them all what to do (ie, running the show, ordering them about! )

My hubby got my younger son into school, and elder son into college, organised transport for both of them, bought himself a car. He had a job interview and was working inside 2 weeks. He bought them clothes. They cooked and cleaned (well, you know ) for themselves on a rota, and had a lovely time in "the boss"'s absence!!!

I felt like a spare vicar at a wedding by the time I finally arrived and have been having a hard time reasserting myself!

Actually it taught us ALL a lot

morwenna,
i always mega respect whatever you say as i have seen many of your posts and i think u are fab.
got him to sign the letter last nite and i know he is gutted. we have had this low patch and i suppose this has made me back out of all this and like u, i loved doin the application for the PR.
i will think it all over and thank everyone for their help and advice.

Just seen this, and I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face. It looks like mind-games. What a shame.

i think you are right, but it is just the way i feel and have felt since oct 2005

Hi Karen - it is a bit of a roller coaster ride .... but I think if you did a poll on here you would find that one partner or the other takes a lead role in this process - usually the most organised one I would guess!! We too have had our ups and downs but usually when I am down hubby is up and vice versa - although we have had a few downers together but when that has happened we tend to ignore the whole process for a week or two and it passed!! We have come through the worse and are now awaiting our passport requests, which brings with it a whole new set of worries .... :scared:

In our case I, like Morwenna, have done all the paperwork for both of us and most of the background research for jobs. I think my hubby felt a little left out of the process at the beginning but over the months I have given him things to take responsibility for (a new approach after 20 years of marriage ) - such as looking at areas to live and what car we would get (very enthusiastic about that!). Maybe, if it's not too late you could sit down and give him some positive things to do?

Probably too late now as I guess you have posted your paperwork

Best of luck with whatever path you follow .... J

thanx so much. the envelope is sitting here and i feel sad about it all. he is just so unreasonable. he loves lookin at mls.ca and to me that is the fun bit that i have not been able to do as yet as i havedone the practical boring stuff.
anyway if the points go up we will be out of the running anyway as we only have 69 and of course iit is me that will need to push up the points. i am just finishing a masters.
i also have the option of PNP as i am a nurse.
it is funny, i have been in contact with 2 ladies who were applying to canada and now have switched to the USA!!

Hi Karen
sorry to hear you are pulling your application out. Seems to me there may be a little bit more behind this decision??
I have done the whole of our application. Organised lost school results (for husband) updated his CV etc chased up his addresses etc......the list goes on...
He always makes a joke about how much time and sweat he has put into the application.(im sure he likes my ' drop dead at 50 paces look!) BUT at the end of the day i dont mind because i want to do it because he wouldnt be able to organise himself to do it.

Hi Karen. I read your post and you are in a very similar position to my wife and myself. Our AOR was March 2005. My wife is a nurse and I am a Police officer. my career counts for almost nothing in terms of points scoring and we have applied through my wife as she has a degree in community healthcare. We were told over again to apply and "forget about it", just get on with your lives, which we have done. we both have secured jobs we were aspiring to do and the PR application is running in the background so to speak. life is a series of peaks and troughs, and sometimes you have to be on a peak and still want to move abroad to make up your mind that that is what you want to do. if your husband feels anything like me he will feel excited about the move, yet frightened of giving everything up and starting from scratch again....(just my opinion !! )

By the way my wife did most of our application!!!!...but I posted it

Good man! Decisive or what??!!!

(bet she drove you to the post-office though.... )