Rosie Alcock

wow, you're negative.

dbd33

I don't get this at all. A mate of mine fills his aeroplane with cheese whenever he's in town and distributes the cheese to his grateful family and friends when he gets home. He, and I, see Toronto as being a mecca for cheese. I think, in fact, there's a good case to be made that the cheese is the best feature of Toronto.

What kind of cheese is not available to you?

hot wasabi peas

A Poem by James McIntyre - The Chaucer of Cheese: Canada's Worst Poet

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese
(Weight over seven thousand pounds.)

We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees,
Or as the leaves upon the trees,
It did require to make thee please.
And stand unrivalled, queen of cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to to send you off as far as
The great world's show at Paris.

Of the youth beware of these,
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
We could not sing, oh! queen of cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

Bleech

That is a bad poem!
In the UK we had a really really bad poet called Pam Ayres, who my Mum and Dad thought was the funniest thing ever <flashbacks to 1980s Saturday night TV cringe>
A typical Ayres poem will usually take the form of:-

So she bent over in the grass
and the buttercups went right up her .....drawn out pause.... nose

She'd be funnier if she delivered the killer line complete with swearing, but no

printer

Blimey that's going back a bit, i can still picture her doing those "poems"

dingbat

She's still going strong and makes a mint from playing with words.

http://www.pamayres.com/

printer

Wow so she is, i would never have guessed she would still be popular.