I like programs like that.

In 2011 they filmed "A year in the life of Gatwick Airport" sadly I didn't see it but my hubby was on it a couple of times! Waiting for the reruns to appear on a channel I can get on iPlayer...

I thought it was a bit tame compared to the US equivalent show, Border Wars.

I did watch one episode where the inspector had no clue about a guy entering from Australia and he helpfully volunteered his extremely lengthy and colourful criminal record on request. D'oh. Entry denied.

What even I have learned so far from the episodes I have seen granted that it was filmed in the Pacific Region and focuses on YVR and the Douglas & Pac Highway crossings.
1. Declare all food items or you get a $800 AMPS penalty.
2. Lying about criminal convictions will either lead to a voluntary withdrawal of application to enter Canada (Allowed to Leave) or an Admissibility Hearing and then having the applicable Removal Order issued.
3. Saying you are visiting when working will get you a 1 year Exclusion Order.
4. Not declaring over $10,000 in cash could lead to seizure and a fine.
5. The dogs we use are good at their jobs.
6. Arguing is pointless and just delays the process.
7. You dont see the mountain of paperwork we have to complete
8. I feel old looking at some of those BSOs.
9. Threatening to punch me out or kick my ass will get you arrested.
10. Smoking up a joint before entering Canada is not the smart thing to do.
11. We have a sense of humour though not always evident.
12. Hiding approx 50 packets of cigarettes in a suitcase and expecting the officer not to see them when opening the suitcase is a bit of an insult to our intelligence level.
13. The uniforms do not accentuate the curves on our female officers

If I want to see environmental vandalism I'll go to Alberta, thanks. As it happens we crossed yesterday on Wellesley Island so pretty close. We were ready to pay the duty on our excess alcohol but were waved through.

I fancy watching this, I will look out for it, what channel is it on again?

National Geographic on Thursdays at 9pm EST.

It's available for downloads if you know how, along with other airport reality TV shows

Especially when you're on TV, I remember an episode of Homeland Security USA where a German kid was given a fine for bringing in an apple his mother had given him on the way to the airport, I'm sure under normal circumstances they would simply have seized it.

I wasn't very impressed with the one inspector they had in the episode that I watched, some guy from California was held because he had imported marijuana for medical use and he was under the impression it was legal in Canada and all the inspector could say was that it wasn't legal to import it.

In fact only marijuana supplied by Health Canada to someone who has a Health Canada marijuana card is legal in Canada, cops know this, I was surprised the CBSA inspector didn't.

Like it says on the label....at the discretion of the agent

As a result of my shabby treatment by CIC last month and subsequent ejection from Canada, I decided to bypass the tedious conventional immigration procedures and make my own way back in.

It was simple enough - an initial meeting with my new private immigration consultant friend Mr. Han in the back room of a Bermondsey minicab office, a midnight rendezvous at a squalid motel in Great Falls, Montana, and an admittedly not-quite-business-class 14 hour journey crouched down in the back of a refrigerated truck with 40 tons of cod and half a dozen shivering Somalians for company.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you - a bit of temporary discomfort is a trifling price to pay to be back in this great country! I don't mind admitting that I wept with joy this morning as I opened my portacabin blinds and drank in the glorious sight of October snow blowing through the darkness. What a blessed place, and how blessed am I to be back!

Jingsssssssssss!

Actually, according to the new passport I got from my friend Mr. Han, I am now "Jesus Miguel Hernandez". Ola!

It isn't legal to import it though so what is wrong with the agent saying this. The Health Canada card is irrelevant here as the man was from California.

I assume you'll swapping the Lawrence of Arabia headgear for a sombrero?

Good to hear from you.