Originally Posted by poll72000

Hi
I was going to reply on Mandimoo's thread but as i was writing, my reply was getting longer and longer!! so i didn't want to hi-jack it.

Just gone through the same experience here as Mandi moo, not with us though with friends that came over on PNP, they were truly excited about coming over they sold everything and were never going back! We offered to put them up until they found somewhere which they did but they seemed reluctant to find anything. They went through the motions of looking but there was always something stopping them.
Then one day he OH said he wants to go home this was within a few weeks of arriving, talk about shocked!! he said he didn't like his job, he felt terrible that he had taken the children away from their Grandparents and generally didn't feel like he could settle here. His wife was doing fine getting stuck into activities with the kids and getting into the way of life. But over the weeks you could see that he was just pulling her down, we talked and talked about everything they had done and why they came in the first place, friends spoke to them and said they were panicking and needed to give it more time, he listened but you could see it wasn't getting through. Wait for PR and then at least you have a couple of years to come back if you change your mind. But no! Their furniture arrived but he wouldn't get it delivered. He said it would be easier to go back now and pick up where he left off before having anything here to make him stay longer like a house etc.
His wife said she could "make him stay" but could she live with herself?? watching him being miserable all the time?
The atmosphere in our house was terrible no-one knew what to say or do.
As the weeks went by we were taking them all over the place having great days out doing everything possible to help him "see" what there was to offer for them as a family. But he was just waiting for his wife to say ok lets go home. In the end she did and they went last week they were here for 12 weeks in the end but i think in his mind he had left 10 weeks ago.
We have been here for nearly 3 years now and everyone who has done this knows it takes at least 6 months to just get things going, like house, cars, banking and then getting used to the area and then another 6 to familiarise yourself with the way of life here and to overcome the waves of homesickness.
I will grant everyone the for giving it a go. When you come here you have already done the hardest part of immigration by leaving. You will get people saying "well at least you tried and thousands wouldn't" stuff but to be totally truthful to give it only a few months is B****ks, what's the point of coming they haven't "tried" anything they've just had a long holiday!!
If you look back and work out how long it took you to come to this decision to emmergrate in the first place, put everything in order to get here i bet you it was longer than 3 months!! It takes you 3 months to wind down off the rollercoaster you have just been on. Of course you panick and think its easier to go back to what you know, we thought the same.
We are going back for the first time this Christmas as it has made me feel really unsettled, i want to confirm to myself that we did the right thing and also to see family of course. My father told me not to waste my money and to go to Hawaii instead for the same price maybe next year!.
So if you see some mad Brit racing round M&S in the Knicker dep its me !!