You sure find out who your real friends are....
Sep 17th 2007, 5:38 am
#16
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 29
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
Hiya,
Just read this, well we have started to tell all our friends and most of them are saying go for it and happy for us, just had 1 friend that when i said are you gunner come for your holidays she said oh flights to expensive, GOD sorry, she could have lied and said oh yes would love to, to be polite, anyway her hubby is gunner come over, she can stop at home. This did hurt me as she is a really close friend
.
I also cant stop talking about it, we are starting the visa process tomorrow so i have 18 month of rabbiting on to my friends, i will drive them up the wall
.
I do think though that they act a little funny not from jealousy but from just not wanting things to change, and not having us on the door step.
Just read this, well we have started to tell all our friends and most of them are saying go for it and happy for us, just had 1 friend that when i said are you gunner come for your holidays she said oh flights to expensive, GOD sorry, she could have lied and said oh yes would love to, to be polite, anyway her hubby is gunner come over, she can stop at home. This did hurt me as she is a really close friend
.I also cant stop talking about it, we are starting the visa process tomorrow so i have 18 month of rabbiting on to my friends, i will drive them up the wall
. I do think though that they act a little funny not from jealousy but from just not wanting things to change, and not having us on the door step.
thought we had alot of friends seems we were mistaken, either that or their all jealous and secretly wish they were going. well just go is what i say as a very good friend says "its not what your leaving its what your gaining"
Sep 17th 2007, 5:40 am
#17
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: 'stralia
Posts: 2,383
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
[quote=KerryRyan;5319542]just had 1 friend that when i said are you gunner come for your holidays she said oh flights to expensive, GOD sorry, she could have lied and said oh yes would love to, to be polite, anyway her hubby is gunner come over, she can stop at home. This did hurt me as she is a really close friend.
[quote]
You know I think it is better that she was actually honest. I mean the flights are expensive, it is a LOT of money to shell out to see a friend. If you wanted the money for something else would you expect her to find it for you? Would you buy yourself a flight to pop over and see her if she was having a rough time?
I think it's much better to just be upfront from the start rather than promise to visit and then make crap excuses for a few years. At least you know where you stand, and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you, just that she has a budget which doesn't stretch to Aussie air travel!
.[quote]
You know I think it is better that she was actually honest. I mean the flights are expensive, it is a LOT of money to shell out to see a friend. If you wanted the money for something else would you expect her to find it for you? Would you buy yourself a flight to pop over and see her if she was having a rough time?
I think it's much better to just be upfront from the start rather than promise to visit and then make crap excuses for a few years. At least you know where you stand, and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you, just that she has a budget which doesn't stretch to Aussie air travel!
Sep 17th 2007, 6:52 am
#18
here and staying
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: happy in the hills of Perth......
Posts: 4,351
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
Have to say that i've been pretty lucky with friends from the UK and here in Oz
I still keep in contact with quite a few friends in the UK, we talk regulary on MSN and via e-mail, i had tons of cards for my birthday as have both our eldest and Alan from UK friends, but the friends over here have been brilliant, you do get the ones that are 'over' friendly but as time goes on if thats not what you like then you can drop out of their lives.
I have one really good English friend here (but i'll be honest and say we've known each other for about 20 years) and a few really good Aussie mates!
they more than compensate for those that 'disappear'
oh plus my best mate from the UK came over for a trip back in May, that was brill!!!!
I still keep in contact with quite a few friends in the UK, we talk regulary on MSN and via e-mail, i had tons of cards for my birthday as have both our eldest and Alan from UK friends, but the friends over here have been brilliant, you do get the ones that are 'over' friendly but as time goes on if thats not what you like then you can drop out of their lives.
I have one really good English friend here (but i'll be honest and say we've known each other for about 20 years) and a few really good Aussie mates!
they more than compensate for those that 'disappear'
oh plus my best mate from the UK came over for a trip back in May, that was brill!!!!
Sep 17th 2007, 6:54 am
#19
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2007
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 480
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
W have been here for a long time, but still keep in touch with a few friends in the UK. We have been back for a few holidays and I am always surprised when we bump into old friends. Everyone is friendly, but the majority never mention Australia or ask any questions about our life here
If it was the other way around I would want to know all sorts of things about a friends new life. I guess that some people are more adventurous and have a passion for life.
If it was the other way around I would want to know all sorts of things about a friends new life. I guess that some people are more adventurous and have a passion for life.
Sep 17th 2007, 11:46 am
#20
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,424
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
W have been here for a long time, but still keep in touch with a few friends in the UK. We have been back for a few holidays and I am always surprised when we bump into old friends. Everyone is friendly, but the majority never mention Australia or ask any questions about our life here
If it was the other way around I would want to know all sorts of things about a friends new life. I guess that some people are more adventurous and have a passion for life.
If it was the other way around I would want to know all sorts of things about a friends new life. I guess that some people are more adventurous and have a passion for life.
I'm quite unadventurous compared to some so although i'd be happy for my friend i'd probably be quite upset that they were going, however when you don't want to show your upset this can come across as them trying to distance themselves.
I have a couple of friends trying to do that at the moment. It's the ones that start petty arguments just as an excuse to fall out with you so it makes it easier for them that annoy me loll
Sep 17th 2007, 11:57 am
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Rotherham, South Yorkshire
Posts: 125
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
[QUOTE=esperanza;5320111][quote=KerryRyan;5319542]just had 1 friend that when i said are you gunner come for your holidays she said oh flights to expensive, GOD sorry, she could have lied and said oh yes would love to, to be polite, anyway her hubby is gunner come over, she can stop at home. This did hurt me as she is a really close friend.
You know I think it is better that she was actually honest. I mean the flights are expensive, it is a LOT of money to shell out to see a friend. If you wanted the money for something else would you expect her to find it for you? Would you buy yourself a flight to pop over and see her if she was having a rough time?
I think it's much better to just be upfront from the start rather than promise to visit and then make crap excuses for a few years. At least you know where you stand, and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you, just that she has a budget which doesn't stretch to Aussie air travel!
I totally agree with what you are saying but it was just the way it was said if you no what i mean
.You know I think it is better that she was actually honest. I mean the flights are expensive, it is a LOT of money to shell out to see a friend. If you wanted the money for something else would you expect her to find it for you? Would you buy yourself a flight to pop over and see her if she was having a rough time?
I think it's much better to just be upfront from the start rather than promise to visit and then make crap excuses for a few years. At least you know where you stand, and it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you, just that she has a budget which doesn't stretch to Aussie air travel!
Sep 17th 2007, 12:28 pm
#22
A Returning Member!!
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Greenwith, Adelaide
Posts: 483
Re: You sure find out who your real friends are....
yep, just wait until you get here, we've been here a year now and only a few keep in touch regularly, loads moan I don't email them (I sent three to all in the beginning they never replied). When you've been here a while and get very, very few birthday cards with a UK stamp on makes you realise that they never were the friends you thought after all.
Good thing is, you get the chance to start afresh and pick people to be your friends who are really worth the effort !!
Good thing is, you get the chance to start afresh and pick people to be your friends who are really worth the effort !!
I agree we been here about 9 months now, and it is really sad like you say there are some mates you think will always email and webcam and no matter what will keep in touch and already we are finding they are not, and the ones you think you will never hear from again are the ones that make the effort!!
Fully understand & agree with the we moved away not them, and they should be getting on with their lives in the same way we are getting on with ours BUT when you have been best mates with someone for near on 20 years and then 9 months in to our move to Oz they stop emailing, in my book thats sad!!
But as ohippy says you get to chose new mates and so far we have met some great people and some crap ones to (being honest!!) I would say in time that some of the people we have met will become good friends but there are still some back in the UK that will never be replaced!!
