Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Oct 17th 2006, 5:14 pm
#151
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by Geordie George
(ETA: that should be childfree, right iPom?!
Doesn't 'childless' sound a bit well, sad.... ?
We're planning to move home and have children. So, in August, I stopped BC (and that was scary! Talking about it is fine, acting on it is something else!). And next year we're away to raise a family, amongst family (at least for the first few years). Because, for us, that's what's important.
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect.
Changing your mind is allowed.
(Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect.
Changing your mind is allowed. (Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
If you're going to ping pong, just make sure you stay in touch with us all here and let us know how you get on.
And possible baby pics, ok?
Oct 17th 2006, 5:15 pm
#152
Master of verbal pish©
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 22,198
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
i have always loved your attitude mate. i just love the way you decide how u want to live your life.
good luck to you both with anything you do
oh and great post lol
good luck to you both with anything you do
oh and great post lol
Originally Posted by Geordie George
OK, so if we're doing confessions ...
Mr GG and I have been together for ... it will be 13 years next March.
He's always wanted children, I never have. Before we got married, it was spelled out in no uncertain terms that we would not be having children. I am not maternal. I didn't want the responsibility. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever we chose, without the hassle of thinking about childcare.
And then we got to Aus. And I started to do some serious thinking about what life means (to me) and what I want out of it. And being able to drink all night and enjoy a cracking hangover the next day is increasingly looking less appealing (though I still indulge ). And, for me, I suddenly got it. I live in the best city on earth and it doesn't matter. That's not important. Because what's important is not where you live your life, it's who you share it with.
DH and I have enjoyed 12 happy, childless (ETA: that should be childfree, right iPom?!) years together. It's been a great foundation to really get to know each other. But now we're ready to live a different life. And that's why we'll be moving back to Blighty next year. We're planning to move home and have children. So, in August, I stopped BC (and that was scary! Talking about it is fine, acting on it is something else!). And next year we're away to raise a family, amongst family (at least for the first few years). Because, for us, that's what's important.
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect. Changing your mind is allowed.
(Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
Mr GG and I have been together for ... it will be 13 years next March.
He's always wanted children, I never have. Before we got married, it was spelled out in no uncertain terms that we would not be having children. I am not maternal. I didn't want the responsibility. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever we chose, without the hassle of thinking about childcare.And then we got to Aus. And I started to do some serious thinking about what life means (to me) and what I want out of it. And being able to drink all night and enjoy a cracking hangover the next day is increasingly looking less appealing (though I still indulge
). And, for me, I suddenly got it. I live in the best city on earth and it doesn't matter. That's not important. Because what's important is not where you live your life, it's who you share it with.DH and I have enjoyed 12 happy, childless (ETA: that should be childfree, right iPom?!) years together. It's been a great foundation to really get to know each other. But now we're ready to live a different life. And that's why we'll be moving back to Blighty next year. We're planning to move home and have children. So, in August, I stopped BC (and that was scary! Talking about it is fine, acting on it is something else!). And next year we're away to raise a family, amongst family (at least for the first few years). Because, for us, that's what's important.
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect.
Changing your mind is allowed. (Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
Oct 17th 2006, 5:22 pm
#153
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
You two have made me blush! I'm off to do some uni work. Later, taters.
Oct 17th 2006, 11:14 pm
#154
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Joined: May 2005
Location: Mornington
Posts: 1,650
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Hi
I have been reading this thread with interest, we are 45 & 44 and we don't have any kids.
In the early days of marriage we tried for kids and nothing happened, we had all the tests and nothing was wrong with either of us. We then decided that we were trying because it was expected of us not because we really wanted them and that we really didn't want them anyway.
That was about 15 years ago and we have had all the "what about when your old, lonely etc" well I really don't give a toss anymore about what people think. I love looking after my Nephews 13 & 5, but when we give them back it is bliss.
We still get the "you will regret it" rubbish, how can you regret something that never happened if that was the case I have loads of regrets. Such as I regret never going to bed with Maria Sharapova, not climbing Everest, never scoring the winner for Chelsea in the FA Cup final etc.
My SIL is doing our bit for the world population in having 7 kids under 8 years of age at 32 :scared:
Apart from all that Julie would have made a lousy mother, she is the sort of person who wants to slap other peoples kids when they scream in the supermarket.
John
I have been reading this thread with interest, we are 45 & 44 and we don't have any kids.
In the early days of marriage we tried for kids and nothing happened, we had all the tests and nothing was wrong with either of us. We then decided that we were trying because it was expected of us not because we really wanted them and that we really didn't want them anyway.
That was about 15 years ago and we have had all the "what about when your old, lonely etc" well I really don't give a toss anymore about what people think. I love looking after my Nephews 13 & 5, but when we give them back it is bliss.
We still get the "you will regret it" rubbish, how can you regret something that never happened if that was the case I have loads of regrets. Such as I regret never going to bed with Maria Sharapova, not climbing Everest, never scoring the winner for Chelsea in the FA Cup final etc.
My SIL is doing our bit for the world population in having 7 kids under 8 years of age at 32 :scared:
Apart from all that Julie would have made a lousy mother, she is the sort of person who wants to slap other peoples kids when they scream in the supermarket.
John
Last edited by jond; Oct 17th 2006 at 11:17 pm.
Oct 17th 2006, 11:45 pm
#155
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 12,063
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by jond
My SIL is doing our bit for the world population in having 7 kids under 8 years of age at 32 :scared:
Oct 17th 2006, 11:50 pm
#156
Banned
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 2,872
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by jond
My SIL is doing our bit for the world population in having 7 kids under 8 years of age at 32 :scared:
John
John
With their birthdays and christmas bet you couldn't afford any anyway
Only joking.....I have 2 who are on hols with grandma for 5 days its heaven wondering why I ever bothered
but by the time there back I'll have missed them loads...As with everything its a choice we make and nobody should be judged for the choice they make. To have children because they'll look after you when your old is the most selfish bloody reason I've heard.A
xx
Oct 17th 2006, 11:52 pm
#157
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by possoms
jeez that is scary
Oct 19th 2006, 8:14 pm
#158
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by Geordie George
OK, so if we're doing confessions ...
Mr GG and I have been together for ... it will be 13 years next March. He's always wanted children, I never have. Before we got married, it was spelled out in no uncertain terms that we would not be having children. I am not maternal. I didn't want the responsibility. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever we chose, without the hassle of thinking about childcare.
And then we got to Aus. And I started to do some serious thinking about what life means (to me) and what I want out of it. And being able to drink all night and enjoy a cracking hangover the next day is increasingly looking less appealing (though I still indulge ). And, for me, I suddenly got it. I live in the best city on earth and it doesn't matter. That's not important. Because what's important is not where you live your life, it's who you share it with.
DH and I have enjoyed 12 happy, childless (ETA: that should be childfree, right iPom?!) years together. It's been a great foundation to really get to know each other. But now we're ready to live a different life. And that's why we'll be moving back to Blighty next year. We're planning to move home and have children. So, in August, I stopped BC (and that was scary! Talking about it is fine, acting on it is something else!). And next year we're away to raise a family, amongst family (at least for the first few years). Because, for us, that's what's important.
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect. Changing your mind is allowed.
(Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
Mr GG and I have been together for ... it will be 13 years next March.
He's always wanted children, I never have. Before we got married, it was spelled out in no uncertain terms that we would not be having children. I am not maternal. I didn't want the responsibility. I wanted to be able to go wherever, whenever we chose, without the hassle of thinking about childcare.And then we got to Aus. And I started to do some serious thinking about what life means (to me) and what I want out of it. And being able to drink all night and enjoy a cracking hangover the next day is increasingly looking less appealing (though I still indulge
). And, for me, I suddenly got it. I live in the best city on earth and it doesn't matter. That's not important. Because what's important is not where you live your life, it's who you share it with.DH and I have enjoyed 12 happy, childless (ETA: that should be childfree, right iPom?!) years together. It's been a great foundation to really get to know each other. But now we're ready to live a different life. And that's why we'll be moving back to Blighty next year. We're planning to move home and have children. So, in August, I stopped BC (and that was scary! Talking about it is fine, acting on it is something else!). And next year we're away to raise a family, amongst family (at least for the first few years). Because, for us, that's what's important.
Lots of events in life can make you rethink things. Emigrating is one of them. This isn't where I was expecting my life to head. Still, it's all part of some tapestry or other, I expect.
Changing your mind is allowed. (Big disclaimer: this is us. It doesn't apply to everyone! And just before anyone jumps on me about leaving Aus - we expect to ping pong. You've got to have a hobby, right?!)
all i can say is OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
(ps. i think youre great x
)
Oct 20th 2006, 12:44 am
#159
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by RooksieJ
all i can say is OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
(ps. i think youre great x )
(ps. i think youre great x
)I just re-read it - and it may come across like I'm pregnant already and I'm not - we start trying in the new year. Do I have to give all the karma back?
I am soooooo looking forward to the trying.
Hope you're well, J. x
Oct 20th 2006, 12:53 am
#160
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by Geordie George
I just re-read it - and it may come across like I'm pregnant already and I'm not - we start trying in the new year. Do I have to give all the karma back?
I am soooooo looking forward to the trying.
Hope you're well, J. x
I am soooooo looking forward to the trying.
Hope you're well, J. x
YAY you mate.
not long now kiddo - about 4/5 weeks
when you planning on coming back over the water?
Oct 20th 2006, 12:57 am
#161
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by RooksieJ
i wasnt under the impression that you were preggers already mate but i still think OH MY GOD!!
YAY you mate.
not long now kiddo - about 4/5 weeks
when you planning on coming back over the water?
YAY you mate.
not long now kiddo - about 4/5 weeks
when you planning on coming back over the water?
We're planning on being back in July 2007 (summer, winter - my seasons are all over the friggin' place!). We get to start trying in February. If I keep to the plan ...
4 or 5 weeks?!!! Wow! That has gone so quickly. Are you completely sick to death of being pregnant now?!
Oct 20th 2006, 1:01 am
#162
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by Geordie George
We're planning on being back in July 2007 (summer, winter - my seasons are all over the friggin' place!). We get to start trying in February. If I keep to the plan ...
4 or 5 weeks?!!! Wow! That has gone so quickly. Are you completely sick to death of being pregnant now?!
4 or 5 weeks?!!! Wow! That has gone so quickly. Are you completely sick to death of being pregnant now?!
completely and utterly mate. i look like a weeble.
be careful with your timing mate - you dont want to be squeezed into your seat on the plane - hell its uncomfortable at the best of times!!
Oct 20th 2006, 1:08 am
#163
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Posts: 10,158
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by RooksieJ
completely and utterly mate. i look like a weeble.
be careful with your timing mate - you dont want to be squeezed into your seat on the plane - hell its uncomfortable at the best of times!!
be careful with your timing mate - you dont want to be squeezed into your seat on the plane - hell its uncomfortable at the best of times!!
GG, yours will be a little football type thing on your front... you've got that sort of body type - which is good. Nice high up, first baby, less backache. You'll be fine!
Oct 20th 2006, 1:08 am
#164
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Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by RooksieJ
completely and utterly mate. i look like a weeble.
be careful with your timing mate - you dont want to be squeezed into your seat on the plane - hell its uncomfortable at the best of times!!
be careful with your timing mate - you dont want to be squeezed into your seat on the plane - hell its uncomfortable at the best of times!!
If I don't get at least three months of practice, I'll feel cheated.
It'll be our first, so ... I dunno. These things work themselves out. I get scared if I put too much thought into it. And Mr GG refuses to think about it on the grounds it removes spontaneity. We're gonna be responsible parents, eh?! Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. It's tenuous, but it's the best I've got. Sorry.
It must be good to be home though and practically picking up from where you left off! That must be comforting?
Oct 20th 2006, 2:18 am
#165
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 945
Re: Are you selfish for not wanting kids?
Originally Posted by iPom
I looked like the Micheline man in drag for my first one... Things haven't improved either.
GG, yours will be a little football type thing on your front... you've got that sort of body type - which is good. Nice high up, first baby, less backache. You'll be fine!
GG, yours will be a little football type thing on your front... you've got that sort of body type - which is good. Nice high up, first baby, less backache. You'll be fine!
yeah a knot in a piece of string whereas i look like the whole ball
p'ah!
