Bernieboy

And no need to get a her a taxi home

paulry

I couldn't. The betrayal would be too great to carry on again as if nothing had hapened.

livinginreality

No and I would'nt expect to be forgiven if I did it either.When I was married to my first husband,our marriage hit the rocks.I did everything in my power to rectify it,went to marriage councelling(he would'nt),tried talking it through with ex OH,nope did'nt work.So I ended up having an 18mth affair with someone I worked with.I have quite a detached view of love(see other posts)and yes I knew it was wrong,but hell it was good!I have to say at that point when it started I had ceased sleeping with ex OH,and we were really just living in the same house,but we were still married.Seriously I don't regret it because ex OH was a complete arsehole(not that that excuses my behaviour)but it made it easier for me to carry on with this other person.My ex OH still does'nt know about it and probably never will.Personally I don't think I can be 100% trustworthy with anyone,not sure why,but hey I'm only speaking the truth.

Nu-Shooz

You minx you

pproehann

Think once they start being furtive and dishonest any marriage I's then a sham as there is no longer any trust and only one party can make true choices as the other person is always trying to repair things based on half a story. Half the time men just haven't got the guts to walk away and instead try to have the best of both worlds while everyone suffers...:curse: :curse: :curse:

Dreamy

TheVileEx was a serial shagger. One night stands, longer night stands, holidays away with them, Christmasses spent with them, you name it, he'd done it. I'm pretty sure he could Tiger and Jesse some tips..

Each time I'd forgive him, each time a little bit more of me was worn away. He was also mentally abusive, so I emotionally felt I couldn't cope without him and as we ran a business together (a post office with our home attached) it made things very complicated, made it very hard to work with each other when we were 'apart'.

The final straw was after a period of separation, we decided we'd get back together and give it another go. Went away with the kids for Christmas and New Year, when we came back he went out with his mates for a 'belated New Year celebration', next day he sent me a text saying 'pulled, f**ked, fell in love'.

Finally I could see that I deserved more than this half life and kicked him out for good. He still kept hanging around, couldn't understand that his backup had failed and he was now on his own again. Bless.

After that, I destroyed a couple of relationships because I had absolutely no trust in anyone. Its testimony to Himself that he had the patience and compassion to understand and also testimony to his behaviour and nature that I trust him completely.

Would I forgive an affair now - absolutely not!

Broad Shoulders

maybe the "dishonesty" is because he feels that he can't communicate with you to tell you about it or even try to include you. It's a two way street and as long as you think he is the only one to blame in that situation then I think you will continue to have these problems

rinkerdink

Or try and get their kicks 'virtually' cause the wifey doesn't want to play instead of doing sometihng for real.

We hear all the time about female hormones but the male one exerts massive force on a personality that extends beyond being a bitch or bastard for a week and to a degree influences/ controls life for it's duration, it can only be suppressed partially or for so long, thats it i'm out of here

TiddlyPom

I could understand an affair, but I couldn't forgive it.

stuckinblighty

Once someones had an affair the whole dynamics of a relationship change i reckon.

Could i forgive ? mmmmmm .....not sure on that one

stuckinblighty

Mind you the thought of having a dirty,seedy little affair with great sex in quite appealing

iamthecreaturefromuranus

No

snowbunny

Agreed. Once trust is lost, no matter how it's lost, no matter how much you still love someone... there's no forgiving. You *might* still stay married for other reasons, but your marriage would never be the same.

I know someone in this situation (nooooo, it's not me, and it's a bloke) who has stayed married to his wife, but has never forgiven her.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

I was going to expand on my "No" but you have pretty much done it for me.

paulry

Friendships are the same. Once betrayed, it's near impossible to trust it again.