goldchoccycoin

I always took myself to bed - usually pretty early (never past 9 while I was at school - 18 years old!). My brother is a night-owl, so my Mum allowed him to stay up as late as he wanted with the proviso that she only had to call him once to get up in the morning and he was ready on time. Those times he had to be called a lot or wasn't ready he had a week of early nights! He soon learnt to get to bed at a reasonable hour (before 10.30pm usually).

I still go to bed 'early' - I rarely stay up past 10pm. I do get up before or at dawn though!

moneypenny20

Yeah, life's a bitch, do as you're told and go to bed.

haggis supper

Interesting debate as I suspected.

I guess it very much depends on the child. Certainly with ours, 8pm seems to be too early. She doesn't seem tired and after 40 mins she usually comes down saying she's still awake.

I reckon bed at 8.30pm, with lights out at 8.45pm.

Mrs H's argument is that she doesn't jump out of bed at 7am and sometimes needs some persuading - therefore 8.30pm is too late. My counter argument is that most kids don't jump out of bed at 7am and the fact that she gets up a couple of times a week without asking shows that 8.30pm is ok.

Fortunately my daughter also thinks that 10/11pm is way too late on a school night so no challenges there - but she is pushing for an 8.30-9pm !

carolinephillips

My daughter is 15 and goes to bed between 8 and 9 pm on a weekday. This is because she has to get up (and so do I) at 5 am (or 4:45 on a Wednesday) to do her swimming training.

When she was 12, before all the early mornings kicked in, she was in bed and lights out by 8pm, with a few exceptions, such as if she had a music concert or a lot of homework to finish after afternoon swimming. She needed the sleep.

Now 15, she often takes herself off to bed at 8pm, and reads for a little while. She is not a morning person and will happily sleep till 10 am on Sunday. I am a morning person, and even when allowed a lie in, am often up at 6 am, as that IS a lie in to me!

You have to work with the child to some extent, so as long as they are not tired then be a bit flexible about bedtimes. Use the time as a guide.

OzSheila

I aim for a 9.30 bedtime for just turned 14 year old. However thanks to tv networks not being in possession of a clock invariably it turns into 9.45 as he just has to finish watching his show, which ires me enormously.

iamthecreaturefromuranus

My, just, 17yr old will stay up all night, and do mean ALL night on Friday/Saturday nights, going to bed at 6am.

Dorothy

My kids were in their beds at 8 with lights out at 8:30. They both had TVs in their rooms and were allowed to watch 30 minutes of TV (son used to watch hockey) or read (my daughter always read herself to sleep, and still does) We used to go up to turn their lights off and say goodnight and most times they were both fast asleep.

My daughter is nearly 17 and she goes to bed around 9. She doesn't get up until 7ish so gets a good 9-10 hours per night.

eddie007

Hmmm... Interesting debate...

the hop along kid ASKS to go to bed... She is 12....

Mumbles .... Is a FIGHT ..... Unless he crashes independently... Also Depends on OUR activity ... If we shut up shop early HE does too...

Gorgeous has been going to work with HIM this last three weeks... So has been up at 0630 and falling asleep VERY early... He stays up til heaven knows what time at weekends...

Kevin? i dont think she EVER goes to bed... But she is 21 on Monday.... So she probably doesnt count anymore does she?

Bermudashorts

Don't have kids but I remember ths topic well from my own childhood as my parents believed in early to bed. I remember that they imposed an 8pm deadline when I was in early junior school, so about 8 or 9, and this was much earlier than my peers and a cause of great frustration for me. I was not tired at 8pm when I was 8 years old and used to read with the lights off as I could not sleep, not good. So I think this is really early for a 12 year old.

Do 12 year olds really need to be told what time to go to bed? I am 100% sure that I was left to decide for myself by this stage.

Kim67

Depends on the night and the workload, but my 12 year old is usually between 8.30-9.30pm on school nights. Some nights she's not back from the ballet studio til after 8pm and still needs time to unwind and catch up with other things. My 8 and 10 year old are usually go to bed between 7.30-8.30pm. Last year they all had to be in bed by 7.30 because they started school at 7.25am in the UAE, here they don't start til 8.50am.

On weekends they stay up as long as they want depending if there's nothing important on first thing the next day.

tum

Our son is almost 10 and goes to bed at 8.30 he wakes up around 7 in the morning. Works great for him, he is always bright in the mornings so I guess it depends on the child and of course yourselves what works.

paulry

I'm impressed. Well done. My two (16 and 13) it's generally about 10.30, and as late as midnight on Friday and Saturday nights. We used to keep a very tight regime on bedtimes but we've slacked this last 18 months or so and once lost I've found that it's near impossible to re-impose facets of discipline. Especially once they're teens.

Sometimes my kids are chatting on facebook to their London friends well into the small hours (UK time). And friends of ours around the corner from us allow their kids go to bed whenever they're ready. And sadly the results show. But the UK can be confusing for kids bedtime-wise because in summertime it must seem ridiculous to them that they have to go to bed at say 9pm when it's still very much daylight outside.

OP: 9pm is ideal.

Lorna at Vicenza

Love this thread.

Most Italians would be shocked to hear how 'early' some of your kids go to bed.
I used to be shocked at Italian bed times and still think plenty of young kids go to bed far too late........ but I also began to understand that many Italians haven't even eaten at 7pm so that's a reason why some kids have later bedtimes.

I've been told more than once that my kids must have "strict English bedtimes" but at least I've never been told that they are unresponsive and half asleep at school. I don't think 8.30 to 9pm is a super strict English bedtime anyway. I think it's late enough and besides ..... all the not so child friendly programmes begin from 9pm onwards and that's my time to relax and settle down after the day.

DeadVim

Whenever they have finished the shift down t'mine.

paulry

Funny, I can't help thinking with a tinge of nostalgia how good it used to be to be shot of the kids by 9pm. These days at 10.30pm it's "Get to bed NOW!" <grrr!>

...Ah the good old days <sigh>