haggis supper

Mrs Haggis and I having an interesting debate on this one. I think 8.30pm (give or take 15 mins) is about right for her to get into bed and lights out. Weekends usually means 9pm. Sleepovers/special occassions usually 10pm.

Mrs H believes 8.30pm is too late and wants her in bed by 8pm latest.

My daughter meanwhile has friends (also 12 years) who are regularly up at 9, 10 and even 11pm.

I'd be interested to know what other parents do/think !

jad n rich

What time does she have to get up?

EG son starts school at 7.25 am so up at 6 ish, needs 9 hours sleep, so bed by 9 half the classmates are on line till 11pm.

School is blaming its low results this year on facebook etc, kids are on that far more than study thats for sure.

haggis supper

Ah, good point. Needs to leave home at 8am for school so up at 7am. She gets to use her laptop but only from school to 8pm and only in area near kitchen. No access to facebook etc. Dreading those years !

SillyOldBag

Personally, I would think 8pm for a 12 yo is maybe a bit too early. My daughter is 9 and goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights and 9pm at the weekend. She doesn't get up til 7.20 in the morning and so gets a good 10 and a half hours sleep, assuming that she has her usual 15 minutes or so of singing and babbling before she even tries to go to sleep

Looking ahead, I think I might try and keep to this arrangement until she goes to high school when I'll give an extra half hour. That's a plan anyway - who knows what the reality will be!

ozzieeagle

Having a real battle with our 13 yo to get him to go to bed at 10pm. The majority of his friends are still up at 10.30 pm plus.

So I'd say 9pm and increase by 30 mins each year....15mins if you can get away with it. ..

scottishcelts

My 12.5 yr old goes to bed school nights at 9.30, reads and lights out at 10. Weekends it's usually about 11-11.30.

moneypenny20

That's quite late for a 12 year old imo. I think mine went earlier than that but it totally depends on the kids. There is a 2.5 year gap between mine but they went to bed at the same time because the eldest has always needed far more sleep than the younger one.

jothefw

Wow it's amazing, the differences.

My boys are 8 (nearly 9) and 10 and they are both in bed for around 7.30 pm. They're up around 6 am. At weekends it's only maybe 8 or 8.30 pm. If we've had a run of late nights, or in preparation, they'll both happily have an hours sleep in the afternoon.

SillyOldBag

That's a very good point though, that it depends on the child and the parents knowledge of them/their needs.

I am the youngest of 4 and we used to have staggered bedtimes, as it was seen as a privilege of age. With your birthday came a small increase in pocket money and a small increase in bed-time!

SillyOldBag

In the end though, they get the same amount of sleep. Yours go to bed an hour before mine but are up over an hour earlier. Swings and roundabouts and really not so different between us anyway

scottishcelts

Ha! Try telling that to my son.

Apparently we are turning into 'Victorian parents' because he can't go to bed at his chosen time.

moneypenny20

We did too and being the youngest by four years I hated it. Really felt I was missing out on 'something' Mine are 16 and nearly 19 and quite often First Born is in bed before Tiddler and still happily has a nanna nap if she wants one.

Dreamy

My nearly 17 year old goes to bed at 10pm on a school night. No battle - he does as he's told

As to the OP.. I can't remember that far back .. 8.30pm sounds about right though. I've never really worn any 'my friends are up later' type arguments.

SillyOldBag

I think that is the downside to being the youngest, always feeling as if you are missing out on something! I was the only girl as well so felt doubly hard done by! It does overlap into adult life as I hate being excluded from things, and it has made me quite stubborn in some regards

General Tojo

That reminds me of the missus telling me when she was at that sort of age she just went off to bed at any time she wanted and it was often very late - there was no question of the parents having to tell her it was bedtime. Seems to work here in Japan. Either it's a case of their typically taking a hatred of confrontation to a ridiculous level or that the kids become 'sensible' well before their time like with the juku cram schools & monthly pocket money system etc...