Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

Ooh yeah fab idea..I'd LOVE a cleaner :D

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

My hub has a routine... He's pretty good compared to some of these.
I need to be more thankful, obviously. But I have been cleaning and doing the house stuff for 13 years now and I just want out of it. I'm really sick of cleaning up after people because it takes up all my time and this is time I just need elsewhere.
Hub tells me that the house is my job... ie - all of it, inside and out, though he empties the dishwasher, takes the kids to school and puts the bin out.
He's cleaned the bathroom once in the year we've been here. That really gets my goat.... so in order to free up my time I'm going to find a cleaner and then I don't have to be doing it all the bleeding time.

The problem is that I hate it so much, I avoid it, which makes it worse but I just can't bring myself to do it every morning ... It's pretty soul destroying work I think... You don't get paid for it, there's no thanks or acknowledgement and it's never ending, yet if it's not done, you get grief for it.

I think getting a cleaner's the only way to go.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

We don't have any kids and both work full time. I think I do more around the house. Hubby puts the bins out and does the washing up. He will put the washing away but is so bad at folding clothes that I don't let him. If he's run out of things to wear then he'll put some washing on. I try not to let that happen as he just bungs everything in together and is quite good at shrinking stuff. He does everything outside like cutting the grass and deals with both cars. I just drive mine and put petrol in it.

I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. He will run round with the hoover and a duster occasionally but never thinks the kitchen floor or the bathroom need cleaning. I do all the ironing and I don't think I've seen him use the iron. He was spoilt by his mum and never did anything when he lived at home. Even when he moved out he used to take his ironing round to his mum's.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

I told my husband that as soon as we are all living in the same place and both working again we are getting a cleaner twice a week. Tuesday and Friday. That way it's nice for the weekend and then again early/mid week. I don't care if something else has to go, I just think we work too hard to come home and work more.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

Damn good idea Dorothy. I don't really know how to accomplish anything when I've got loads of stuff to do. I'm meant to be putting a load of time into the business but all I can feel is the pressure of undone housework grinning at my back whilst I'm trying to do anything else.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

We both work Full Time. Part time kids, every other weekend. Generally, I'll do the cooking and the shopping and the wife will clean the kitchen etc. I think we are fairly well 50-50. I would say that she does more washing than me, but I think it is my responsibility to make sure I have a clean shirt for work, so would never complain if there isn't one. If I'm cutting the grass, you can be sure she is doing something in the house. There aren't really any his or her jobs, we both do everything. We don't stress about doing the housework on a daily basis. As long as it's tidy, that's fine. We tend to blitz the house at the weekend. I will normally ask what she wants me to do, rather than deciding myself.

We are always saying thank you for this or that, because it isn't that persons responsibility to do something. I know we only have the kids every other weekend, but they have always been very good at putting stuff away, so we don't have loads of kids stuff floating about all the time.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

When we both worked full time the house stuff was done 50/50 - so all was equal then :)

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

well help dale with that bloody decorating then ,instead of being on here all the time..:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

Lol, oh sh*t caught out again :D :rofl:

I must get offline!!!!

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

Many moons ago when the wife worked (Before the kids) we split things in the house 50/50 but i still did all the outdoors stuff, bins, garden etc and household repairs painting etc.

Now my wife is off work and home all day everyday with the kids I just do the outdoors stuff and the cooking and dishes on weekends, I am also responsible for the toilets in our house as the wife wont touch em.

When the wife goes back to work I will have to up my work rate indoors.............

Oh, another thing, I do thank the wife for food every night and compliment her on the house etc when required but never ever ever has she mentioned any thanks for me paying the mortgage, bills, cutting the grass or owt, bloody wimmin. :wub:
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Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

I love the idea of having a cleaner but can imagine myself rushing around on the day he or she was due saying, "must tidy up, the cleaner is coming"!!! Its not really the idea is it :D

I am a childminder and can sometimes have 8 children in the house until 6pm, as you can imagine the house looks like a bombsite when they leave but my hubby is great and even helps to clean up paint/paper/glue/glitter etc - whatever we've been using. In general terms I do all the 'inside' jobs and he does all the 'outside', has been working well for 13 years so far!:)

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

LOL - I'll take being a freak as a compliment!

He's definitely not anywhere near gay!

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

Find one ASAP. Life is too short to spend it on something you hate so much. If you can afford a cleaner (and I'd gladly make sacrifices in other parts of my life to afford one if it was a big issue for me, and I can see it becoming one in a couple of years time), it will be money well spent.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

I've had some success in telling my wife to keep things in perspective - and also if she is panicking I tell her to do 1 thing every day off her list of things to do someday. Having a baby has really helped her in this regard not just because she hasn't got time to worry - genuinely she has learnt to cope better.

I find myself doing the same on this website - perspective!!!

You know, I havent been to a sterotypical 'segregated' BBQ in 3 or so years. Where we live people don't seem to do that. Of course, people might drift away into some groups dependant on what they are interested in, and might have a word in their mates ear but its certainly not like that at the start on a formal basis.

I iron, and do all outside work (apart from watering 101 plants which Chief loves doing and any capital works of construction which I haven't got the
experience, time or tools to do - but this is changing).

I'd like to cook more often but there's a tendency for Chief to take over halfway through until I'm sat at the table watching her. I do bake cakes occasionally.

Re: What's reasonable... ?
 

We both work full-time, he cooks 'cos he's home first, somedays he collects the wee one, other days we leave her there and I get her at 5.30. She like to be there until the end of the day! If he cooks, I clean the kitchen (altho he does clean up as he cooks - being a chef and all that!). We both hoover, dust, tidy and pick up after kids. I wash, iron (he hasn't done this in months :sneaky: ) but he did cut the grass at the weekend and clean out under the trees and I must say the garden looks lovely and I told him so. I ask him to put the bins out - he forgets, so I do it. I take all to do with both cars - he can put petrol in his - that's it. If it wasn't for me he'd have no tax, insurance, MOT. I pay any bills, take all to do with schools etc.

All in all, I would say we share the house equally and I'm happy with that. I do remember when he moved in with me he did absolutely nothing, once we got our own house together tho he was very good and I think the hours he works are a god send! If he went back to restaurant / bar work he would be out of the house a lot more and I would miss all the help.

Lynn xx