Those of you who look after kids during the day, how much do you expect your working partner to do in the house?

Do they do nothing at all, a few bits here and there, or more?

Would you expect them to leave it to you on the weekend or would you expect help then?

What's reasonable?

My old man is bleedin useless, always has been. I wish I had nipped it in the bud 18 years ago when we moved in together but I didn't and that bed I made is well and truly slept in now. He doesn't do a thing in the house. He does do everything outside and anything to do with the car is his job. I would love him to do more but I would be fighting a losing battle to try and make him.

My husbands pretty good. Of an evening he will either clean up after dinner and I'll see to the kids or vice versa. He does all the gardening and will run the hoover round on the odd occasion.

So does your OH ever acknowledge what you do in the house? Say thank you? Say 'the lounge looks nice!' or anything like that?

I do most of the cooking becuase the OH can burn water

he notices yes. he always tells me my cooking is nice and says thanks for dinner.

Steve will do quite a bit if I ask him, sometimes without but more often than not I need to start something before he will offer. Men see things different to us I think.

He will iron his own stuff (and mine) he will do the washing but prefers me to do whites so he doesn't dye anything, he will come home from work and cook, he will vaccuum but not dust, he always helps with changing the bed (I fight with quilt covers cos my arms aren't too long.

The kids all have their jobs and responsibilities too, my boys do their own ironing, take the rubbish out, keep their rooms tidy (mostly!!) and my daughter cleans their bathroom, sorts the recycling, cleans the dining table after meals and sweeps the floor.

Way we see it is we all live in the house and use all the facilities, why should one person be responsible for all that as well as:-

The shopping
Meals
getting the kids to school on time
picking them up on time
making doctors and dentists appointments
attending school parent teacher nights/afternoons
paying bills
organising tradesmen to come

and so the list goes on

Anyway, nowhere in my contract does it say I have sole respobsibility for OUR family.

Shirley x

Can't say that he does, except thanks for dinner, but then again I don't thank him for cutting the grass.

no matter how much a bloke does, it's still not enough is it?
we have to accept that we're always wrong in the eyes of the OH

Bloody hell Gedge. Where did I say or imply that?

Genuine queston - we often 'value' what is harder, looking after a baby during office hours or full-time (having to concentrate) work.

We've worked out it is really 6 of one and half a dozen of another.

I do occasionally say that ultimately she is the boss of my daughter, she can always ignore her- apart from some tantrums (!) and she gets to otherwise choose where to go - what shops, places, activities and lunchtime appointments she can get to. Often she enjoys herself where she is and our daughter is fully occupied playing.

But I am not the boss where I am and I cannot choose.

Good point... Although I always say "the lawn looks better" or something so he knows I have noticed he's done it.

We dont have kids yet (9 weeks to go!) but as I will be working part time and OH full time I would expect to do more of the housework type stuff. OH often cooks and does help out with hoovering, cleaning etc.

You'll have a baby, plus working part time... and you'll be doing more of the housework?

sorry just having a vent, i'll go again

No kids, but we both work full time and the housework is done on the following basis:

OH
Washing up
Putting bins out once a week
Ironing his work shirts (he'll offer to iron something for me too, but I try to choose things that don't need ironing)

Me
Household shopping
Washing, drying, putting away, mending clothes
Cleaning house
Gardening
Washing car
Cooking
Boring things like picking stuff up from the dry cleaners, remembering people's birthdays, paying bills, finding houses to view...

If I didn't do all these things, we would live in a hovel, have no clean clothes, and would starve. OH was spoilt by his mother and has never learnt the concept of doing these things himself (until he's been left with no underwear and HAS to do something). Reminding him to do something (like putting out the bins) gets things done, but makes me feel like I am nagging him. However, if he actually remembered to do things I wouldn't have to remind him and thus it wouldn't sound like I was nagging.

I battled for a while to train him (one memorable time when his mother was staying with us, and I asked him to do the washing - only to find her doing it, ruining all my hard work) but have given him some time off from chores as he is studying and working full time so is a very busy bunny.