I loved this touch - On arrival in Australia in September 2007 the immigration officer said "Welcome Home!" (after she'd finished inspecting our visas).

The thing is, immigration never said it first time around in 2004.

Could it be the Aussies stole this heart-warming welcome from the Kiwi's?

Funny, when we arrived, they said 'Not you again?!'

When I came through immigration the officer said to me 'Bloody hell you are not the one who has a thing for John Howard are ya?' and then he demanded that I gave him my bra as payment for being allowed into the country.

I cried and refused and a huge rumpus started with me throwing myself on the floor and kicking my legs in the air and several ladies removed their bras next to me in sympathy.

In the end they just let me in to keep the peace.

When we arrived there was a giant banner across the immigration desk saying "Welcome M Family". As we went through the doors to collect our luggage there was a marching band and the Premier was there to personally welcome us. Johnny would have come too, but he was on an overseas junket at the time.

Well Ive only told you about our immigration bit, when we went through customs they had an entire cheerleading squad holding Johnny high in the air and throwing him to do back flips and all kinds.

There was a carnival procession to rival only but Notting Hill, marching and walking along side Sams car right up until we arrived in Port Kennedy.

Gordon Brown was there, Nelson Mendela, Mr Rudd, Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley (no he isn't dead, he is alive an well in WA).

People were throwing flowers and everything, people were reaching out to touch a bit of me and one man cried for a lock of my hair.

It really was incredible, especially when Agents 007 The Lombard and Alan Collette greeted me in a leopard print G strings.

(Oh Dorothy, what have you started....)

But were the roads all covered in a red carpet so as not to get the tyres of your limo dirty?

We had a gold carpet decorated with all my favourite tim tams.

Changing the subject completely, I went to Freo harbour today and on the way back to my house I heard the birds going mad, looking up in the tree I saw this huge owl.

Ive never seen one in the wild before and I stood there like an idiot looking at it. Made my day that did, I so love my wildlife!

I find it nerve racking coming through immigration. Those dogs make me nervous, lovely as they are. Got stopped for a banana rotting in OH bag, so i always worry now.

We bought conkers in the basket of the little one's buggy.

We noticed them before the dogs did though and put them in the bin.

Then unpacking our boxes and it seems we bought a whole container full that the kids had collected.

Maybe I'm just sad. Scratch that.

I'm just sad; so I liked the "Welcome Home" welcome.

Silly things do affect me though, such as on a recent trip north to Rainbow Beach for a tiny bit of R&R, I spied a bumper sticker which read "F*** OFF. WE'RE FULL" except there were no child-friendly asterisks just your ol' fashioned Eff You See Kaye in bold capitals. I thought, "How rude?"

It did affect me in a non-positive way and I can't put my finger on why. Obviously the car owner perceives immigrants as unnecessary and therefore as desirable as lepers contesting at a souffle bake-off. But that's their constitutionally-protected opinion and there's nothing I can do about it except go quietly about my business hoping and praying that there are other Aussies who feel less affronted in allowing outsiders into their environment.

Blah Blah Blah

Fair dinkum

and

Strewth

That's not sad. I like it too.





ROFLMAO. Oh man...

No, you're not sad for liking the welcome home. I love how they do it too. And yes, when we landed in Adelaide they did say "welcome home" when they stamped our passports. It was a nice touch.

I find that bumper sticker offensive as well. This country is made up of immigrants who for the most part contribute much more to the country than they take.